Karis and I


Village Elder
Yesterday I got a call from the office of Sonko the governor. The guy on the other end works with the kanjo, county of the big city, nyairofi.

You rem my hekaya about Kijana wangu wa kazi more than seven years ago alitoka na motorbike yangu ya kazi ikashikwa tao. He was riding on the wrong side of the streets without necessary bikes attire,license na tumakosa twingi and my bike was impounded by kanjo.


I explained that bike ikishikwa tao the rogue kanjo guys make sure imekaa one week plus some days ndio wakukamue pesa mzuri. The first day bike ikishikwa huandikiwa like 4k, plus another 4k every day in the first week. Ama mpaka ile siku utaiendea. After weeks of searching for the bike niliipata St Peters kwa kanjo and I was directed to go at City hall to pay fines amounting to seventy something thousand, nikaiwachanisha nahuko.

Now the guy calling wanted me nikachukue bike yangu. I only need to pay like fifteen k. Picha ziko sawa alinitumia and the mashine looks good. I just need to go with the log book. I keep my documents in a certain bank I know it's safe there. Naenda Valentines nikiichukua.

@introvert I want you uniangalikie hiyo bike kama itakuwa sawa niikalie mkia hadi 001(hata kama sio sports) ama niilipie G4s waniletee.

Let's go back to story ya karis. Jinga ndio ilishikwa na bike but ilirudi after kuipata cell ikiwa imeshikwa.

Karis and I have been friends for quite a long. He's among my niggas who believe that akifa atapata 72 virgins waiting to welcome him in heaven. Sometimes I wonder whether the FISIcal fitness in him will let his soul see heaven. kijana murefi sana kama makanika. Climber number two from yours truly back in the village. His favourite drink is Kane. The famous Cane extra. Even if you buy him 20crates of pilsner he doesn't get drunk. Unless you add that Kane.

Long ago, I left karis in the village and came for further studies in nyairofi. Karis due to the poor grades he got like that of governor Hoho could not make it to any college in the city. So his parents bought him a kipikipi to keep him away from the rogue company that we had joined in the village of smoking phangi, brewing muratina and impregnating village girls jumping stomachs(kuruka mimba) every time he was caught.

Life did not favor karis and his parents were not happy at all. You see he had started keeping long coiled hair and looked like a muguruki. He had money for boda and drunk those second generation liquors every day even very morning hours in the name of kutoa lock. Sometimes he could not afford to service his duthi after drinking all the money.

On the other hand, yours truly was doing well with studies and after colle, things were good. Biashara here and there as I narrated about in the same hekaya. Going back to gishagi you know the first guys to see and buy dogogio for are who and who. So karis parents could summon him and show him an example with me "reading" for him.
"Why don't you be like captain you phangi smoker, you have climbed almost every children of pple in this village, others are removing your "stomachs", you have now become a disgrace and a big threat to girl child"

Karis was not happy with this msomo and one time he decided to come with me in the city. I wasn't having persons in my house by then. living in a bedsitter was the best time I enjoyed. After spending some time in the city karis saw great opportunities and was mesmerized by our daily hustles. I remember one day we went drinking and after karis fought with the waiters was thrown behind bars for 3days. When I removed him (read bailed him out) he had already been shaved clean. The same day we went out to drink some more for removing stress. He caused drama in the same joint breaking glasses and seats, he fought the waiter because he touched her butts and brookies and got slapped. He told me" mwanamuke hawes nishapa Kofi ninyamaze"

Kalibebwa juu juu and thrown out by bouncers. Kuibiwa polish kakalala ndani tena. He had become a terrible sumbua and I had to device a mechanism of taking him back to Siberia. You get wat mean? It happened there was a burial of a close neiba at home that we attended with my nigga karis. Imagine we had the guts to ride all the way from nyairofi hadi home. With the crazy traffic and the killer bumps one hour was more than enough to get us kutoka zimma hadi home.

After burrial karis absolutely expected us to go back in nyairofi together but I tricked and I left him swinging bells at home. He was broke and only depended on my bike to come back in the city.

Karis parents were happy to see him in the village , very smart and shaved. Clean as always and even spent some more time helping his parents at home. The parents wondered how transformed karis was over a very short period and also wanted him in the city. They were very greatful to me and could keep calling me now and then. Na kunipaka mafuta mgongo kwa kijiji. They even started to go visit my parents talking about how successful I am, how good I have done their son and so on. They could ask " haki si huyo kijana yako asaidie hii kijana yetu kupata kazi nyairofi. Unaona vile amebadilika wiki mbili tu?".

That was enough to create a good relationship back at gishagi. Since I didn't want to disappoint them, I asked them to talk to their son an ask him what he can do best in the city. We had visited a number of places and karis had seen how biashara is done. He made a sound decision and I choose to give a helping hand. He said he can be selling fruits from ushago and bring them to githurai market.

It was that season of avocados and in our village no one cares about them. They are so many that even dogs feed on them when they lack meat or bones, hence the name "maguna ngite"(savers of dogs).

Karis thought of bringing them in the city and sell them in wholesale and retail. One full sack of avocados in ushago goes for like ksh 300. And you know one avocado in nyairofi is like 30bob or 40bob. And one sack like the ones of waru in muthurwa can accommodate two hundred avocados. Meaning he could sell one sack at 6000. That's a profit of 5700 per gunia. The idea was good and all of us agreed to help karis. That includes karis parents, my parents and I.

His parents sold two cows one at 20k, the other at 30k and borrowed a small loan of sixty thousand at a local tea farmers SACCO that I will Not mention it's name. Karis went ahead and bought all the available avocados in the village. Including ten sacks from my parents and they got their 3k. They were very happy indeed and you could hear mama karis shout at mathe "Maya makorofea tutigucooka kumeta maguna ngite ringi. Turimetaga Golden Apples" (These avocados we will Not call them helpers of dogs again, we will call them Golden Apples).

Aaarrrggg. Wacha Mash ikam nikikaa niwamalizie masaibu yetu na karis barabarani.