KINDLY ADVICE---REALLY NEED YOUR TAKE ON THESE.

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DI TICHA

Village Elder
#1
Got a friend whose 28yrs. He recently got a job on contract basis paying 28g’s. He’s not that educated (done CPA’s to sec Iv). Well, as much as he got the grades in high school to go to Uni (Scored B-), they couldn’t afford the fees. In all ways, Chap hassles to raise sumn to further his education at the earliest convenience plus settle monthly bills like his house rent and meet days to days expenses. And to do these, he’s been saving the little amount he’s left with.

His Bro is also 27yrs, hasn’t done any course and they live together. He got a B- as well. And yes, he hassles too and they support each other.

Here’s the challenge; the parents are on their neck for every form of support and are totally oblivious of their dreams. Talk of paying the debts they had , buying food, Support in paying their house rent and so forth so on. (His confession, at one point in life he’ll want to have a family like all his pals and be in a position to support em, but with the current trend, that holds him back. Years are passing by and he feels left out in all aspects). Bear in mind, even before he got his current job , he has been helping out with whatever little he got. So is his bro. But he now feels priorities have to change. Mind u his dad works but the mum doesn’t.

His worry is by not giving in to his folks demands, he might be disrespecting em and pushing away their blessings.

My advice to him and his bro was, at their age, their interests come first and once they settle, then they can help whenever and in whichever way they can. But for now they’ll ought to understand that and give them that space coz again years are passing by.

Did I mislead them in anyway? And what advice would you give the chaps?

Ntashukuru usaidizi wenu wana kijiji………..Tafadhali………
 

Ka-Buda

Village Elder
#3
Vile @jameson amesema.Sometimes in life you have to put yourself first and as long as he doesn`t forget them and if he puts God as his witness,Mungu atafungua milango mos mos and all will fall in place.
Life Be hard Ohh But in Jisos Name every ting be Possible Now!!!!
 
#4
This is a sober thread for once bila threats na matusi, for that kunywa shai kwa birr yangu. My take on this is, I believe in helping out parents financially but again this might be the only chance for the young men to start off their life. I second your advice by saying that they should put their interest first and only give support where really necessary. When your parents raise you up its not a favour they are doing to you but its an obligation and it should not be like you owe them.
 

Diffre

Village Elder
#5
He needs to begin to invest in his future.
the parents have already lived their lives,i mean unless they(parents)lack basic needs(food,shelter&cloths);they gotta let their kids grow their future.
kesi baadaye
 
L

Luther12

Guest
#6
I aver that you gave quite the appropriate advice. Here's what I did to set boundaries: from very early on I made it absolutely clear that anyone who wants cash from me MUST give a two months notice. Even then, I don't fund everything. And I absolutely don't mind if anyone hates me really, I always say I'm not in the business of making friendships.

One other trick, whatever money/assistance one asks for, NEVER give 100%. Always give max. 50% (within reason). Always.

That said, there's a bill currently in parliament that seeks to make you criminally liable for neglecting your aged and/or disabled relatives. It proposes to make such neglect notifiable to the authorities by people such as local administrators, doctors, etc, making the of fence punishable by a 5yr jail term. The bill is now at the public participation stage.
 
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Diffre

Village Elder
#7
I aver that you gave quite the appropriate advice. Here's what I did to set boundaries: from very early on I made it absolutely clear that anyone who wants cash from me MUST give a two months notice. Even then, I don't fund everything. And I absolutely don't mind if anyone hates me really, I always say I'm not in the business of making friendships.

One other trick, whatever money/assistance one asks for, NEVER give 100%. Always give max. 50% (within reason). Always.

That said, there's a bill currently in parliament that seeks to make you criminally liable for neglecting your aged and/or disabled relatives. It proposes to make such neglect notifiable to the authorities by people such as local administrators, doctors, etc, making the of fence punishable by a 5yr jail term. The bill is now at the public participation stage.
Dagitari:D:D:D
 

aviator

Village Elder
#11
Always stick to this rule regarding sharing your salary! or earnings.

10% flat on tithe
30% minimum on savings (inc education plan or life cover)
30% max on rent and bills
20% charity (parents, friends, orphans. etc)
10% unajitreat.

If the 20% isn't good enough for the parents, too bad. Give it to someone who appreciates like a children's home.
 
#13
That said, there's a bill currently in parliament that seeks to make you criminally liable for neglecting your aged and/or disabled relatives. It proposes to make such neglect notifiable to the authorities by people such as local administrators, doctors, etc, making the of fence punishable by a 5yr jail term. The bill is now at the public participation stage.
I dont think this bill will see the light of the day, there are genuine cases but most of the relatives might take advantage of the situation
 

danji1

Village Elder
#14
I aver that you gave quite the appropriate advice. Here's what I did to set boundaries: from very early on I made it absolutely clear that anyone who wants cash from me MUST give a two months notice. Even then, I don't fund everything. And I absolutely don't mind if anyone hates me really, I always say I'm not in the business of making friendships.

One other trick, whatever money/assistance one asks for, NEVER give 100%. Always give max. 50% (within reason). Always.

That said, there's a bill currently in parliament that seeks to make you criminally liable for neglecting your aged and/or disabled relatives. It proposes to make such neglect notifiable to the authorities by people such as local administrators, doctors, etc, making the of fence punishable by a 5yr jail term. The bill is now at the public participation stage.
They should define 'neglect' clearly first. In the case of the two brothers, what would the bill demand? if it demands they put their dreams on hold then it makes no sense.
 

Diffre

Village Elder
#15
Always stick to this rule regarding sharing your salary! or earnings.

10% flat on tithe
30% minimum on savings (inc education plan or life cover)
30% max on rent and bills
20% charity (parents, friends, orphans. etc)
10% unajitreat.

If the 20% isn't good enough for the parents, too bad. Give it to someone who appreciates like a children's home.
Hapo kabisa...Tithe lazima
 
#17
I almost feel bad spending 15k on a dinner last Friday while people only earn 28k per month, my advise however is to look after yourself first, true relatives in need and charity is good however you need to make sure that it won't become a repeated cost, people should be able to take care of themselves. Sure I am not that well informed about Kenyan traditions, culture and whatever might be related to this case but I get the feeling that the parents have been using money irresponsibly and that is why they are in this situation, ask the mother to start working, regardless of her income it will become a help.
 

danji1

Village Elder
#18
Always stick to this rule regarding sharing your salary! or earnings.

10% flat on tithe
30% minimum on savings (inc education plan or life cover)
30% max on rent and bills
20% charity (parents, friends, orphans. etc)
10% unajitreat.

If the 20% isn't good enough for the parents, too bad. Give it to someone who appreciates like a children's home.
Is the 10% tithe for a year's total earnings or monthly earnings? Can it instead be channeled to a children's home instead of passing through the church?
 
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