Kinyozi Struggles Continues.

I think I’m getting too soft, Nairobi is not good for shamba hardknocks like me. About a year ago I would not have walked through the door of a kinyozi in Nyahululu without inquiring and having in writing the price of a shave even if I was there only the previous week. If it ventured anywhere north of a hundred bob, I would turn around and my shadow would never darken the door of that premises ever again. Nairobi people are tricky. After my Kiganjo like shave debacle last month, I swore no other barber would touch my head unless I had sat there and studied at least two specimens of his workmanship done with my keen eye on his technique.
This petty concern over my dome aesthetics made me overlook the golden rule, price first. That and the fact that where I stumbled in consisted of an all female staff with resplendent smiles and customers in various stages of ecstasy as their heads, shoulders and kahashos received kingly attention. I studied the lady barber’s work and by the time she was midway the client she was working on I was convinced. I’d even let her do my armpits and curve the flash lightning symbol on my crotch if they offered the service. I hastily took my seat when my turn came and enjoyed 30 minutes of pure bliss. In truth, the end result wasn’t far from what my Nyahururu hair technician used to achieve in ten minutes but after having three ladies fondle your head you walk out of there feeling like you’re God’s gift to all of femaledom.
Unfortunately, this high only lasted the few seconds it took to walk to the counter. I’m over there pulling my wallet feeling philanthropic enough to pay at least one fifte bob and leave a fifte Bob tip because this is Nyailofi and has city prices then I get presented with a bill of one thousand one hundred bob! I swear! One shilling, two shillings, three… one thousand one hundred! Bloody hell! Did they perform brain surgery on me or merely trimmed a few inches off my dome? For that amount I can climb Nuclear Sacco to Nyahululu, get shaved, come back and still have enough change to eat a whole goats head and soup at Ngara. I look around to find a similarly astonished brother so I won’t be alone in protesting this daylight robbery but the buggers are just there pulling out their wallets happily with their staut penises evident even from their faces. I consider making a dash for it but a bouncer like watchman stationed at the door whom I’d not noticed before is indication enough that I’m not the first ninja to have had that bright idea. I value my face more than my head so I just swallow hard and surrender the full contents of my mpesa account and that thieving cashier has the audacity to smilingly invite me to come again. Mimi hii Nairobi, I’m never going to buy even ballgum without asking the price first. “Nyinyi wote ni wezi na majambazi”, kinyozi struggles continues.

53 Likes

:D:D:D:D…I pay 300 and I think it’s a bit expensive but that ile protest ingekua apo ata usitake jua.

1 Like

:D:D:D:D:D:D

1 Like

hehehe nimecheka hadi watu wanachungulia simu kuangalia wsup hii kijiji tamalisa mimi siku moja

5 Likes

hii ni bangi

3 Likes

Mimi nikiona anything like executive kwa jina ya kinyozi, ama kinyozi iko na real speakers sio zile za mtungi, ama kinyozi inacheza rock badala ya roots reggae, I immediately know tutakosana juu ya bei

34 Likes

I never venture into those vinyozi with female staff. I consider it an insult to my intelligence for someone to charge me triple the normal price of a haircut simply because a coomer carrier massaged my head. But judging by the number of men who fall for it, there’re many fools in this Nyairofi. Or birrionaires.
ION Ole Weru detected.

4 Likes

SAA zingine unaji treat, unaenda kinyozi ya juu kiasi,personally most have paid these ‘lady kinyozi’ ni 250. Usizoee kinyozi wa kupaka spirit kila saa, ngozi ya kichwa itakauka kama kiatu

5 Likes

Hehehe. Hekaya threshold surpassed. Nacheka kaa mwenda kwa wending ya SDA.

3 Likes

Hehehehe

1 Like

ha ha haaaa. mimi hata nilipishwe pesa ngapi mwanamke hashiki kichwa yangu

3 Likes

Nilicheki bouncer nikatii.

3 Likes

A kinyozi with a bouncher should be warning sign.

4 Likes

[ATTACH=full]36637[/ATTACH]

4 Likes

Alitokea vile walicheki nimeanza kutense. In fact I can proof he was made a call. Hako kalightskin kaliwa kameniuliza nini unakaa mgeni ivi while she was massaging my neck. Unacheki hiyo design ya kuekwa kwa kasink kama hujazoea. You just stiff up raising alarm, bouncer aliitwa…

This is purely psychological. Your brain knows you’ve been conned so it tries to justify the loss by telling you things like “kichwa itakauka kama kiatu”. I usually pay 2oo for a haircut (the actual price is 100shs but I pay double coz this nigga has been cutting my hair for like 5 years). Sasa siku moja kiherehere ikanipeleka kinyozi moja ya 500. Kurudi mtaani nilikua naulizwa maswali funny funny kama “kwani what’s up with yo hair? Leo kwani umenyolewaje? Kwani Karis (my barber) alikua amepitia kwa mama pima? Ama alikufa ikabidi uende kwingine?”…and so on. Hapo ndio niliamua if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

6 Likes

:D:D:D

ushaienda kwa kinyozi ukapeana pesa ukisimama ukingoja change…

3 Likes

hehehe…
peasant tings.
mimi huwa najinyoa na wembe since high school

3 Likes

Futhi unaeza nyoa hata na kisu ama kapiece ka kioo

2 Likes