kunyimwa vitu au kujinyima

this happened 2 years ago nikiwa chuo somewhere. there was this ultimate angel who used to rule the whole campus(town campus) with her looks. this babe was in a league of her own,since she owned 3 cars. SUV,Hybrid and Benz CDI. no one in school ever approached her. we only saw her on TV adverts. she was that fine.we will call her miss fineboss.
Fast forward to one drunken evening when we borrowed my friend’s mom car, a manual premio to go to a fashion event. tukaingia nakumatt kuokota mzinga ya excellency and budweiser. tukapitia carwash kubuy devil’s lettuce kisha tukatoka.
At the event we thought we were the only strangers, kumbe fineboss was also modelling. nikaomba beshte samsung note 4, which had just been released, mimi huyoo hadi podium kujifanya buoart. I made sure she noticed me coz I only took photos zake nikaignore the other pageants.
Now despite being fine, she did not win the event as there was another bootylicious who whipped the male judges into african form. sisi tukajitoa event kusaka a better plan.
Fast forward two days later nikapata inbox,.“we need to meet. i dont have any pics from event ya sato” Kweli Mungu hasahau mafisi wake. Didnt ask how she got my number,coz i didnt care(i was a moron).
Miss fineboss picked me in town, tukaenda food court watu wakaniangalia ni ka nimemea pembe. Dem akalipana hadi tip. Ikabidi nioffer ice cream to save face. Kidogo she gave me car keys eti lets drive to your place. Hiyo time me nlikua bedsitter with the worst drainage ever. Resistance was futile tukafika ghetto. Hadi mama mboga akajikata akituangalia.
My fellow Kenyans, shuma haikulala ndani io siku. Yani dem alinishika na uoga ikanishika zaidi. Was it a divine sign?sijui. But since that day everyone started hating me. Wanaume walikua wanajiuma vidole wakiskia hii maneno ikabidi nimehamia mbali. I am still a good christian awaiting the chosen one from our Lord. Blessings

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:D:D

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Say what???:D:D:D

nice hekaya villager.

@Lemah alilemewa na ikuss. On the bright side uliepuka kumeza ARV’s kama @uwesmake

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Ngombe ya mtu

:D:D:D:D datheka ginya da dhuria… Ati uoga ika kushika

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Erectile dysfunction is real.

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Nice hekeya @Lemahwa

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:slight_smile:https://www.kenyatalk.com/data/avatars/m/0/640.jpg?1481972323tell us more.

Hapo ulijinyima

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You are a disgrace to the brotherhood

certified faggot.

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:D:D:D:D

mnakumbuka hekaya ya @Lola- vile alitembelea jamaa after dating for 3 months but akapata ni mchafu sana kwa nyumba akakataa kumpatia vitu juu hata boxer ilikuwa na shimo? naona kama ni huyu

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this just cracked me up,

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:D:D:D nice hekaya

Hiyo ni Kikuyu gani wallahi?

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Nah…that guy was a pilot btw…living in Adams… I got shock of my life. He still asks my friends about my where abouts even after that drama. I hope hako ktalk lol