LADIES NEVER DATE FOR POTENTIAL-WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET

[SIZE=6]Its a known fact that whatever a man is showing you as a woman is embelished to impress women while women play down their worth to avoid intimidating suitors. So whatever you see at face value from a man is his best pretend version from there it can only get worse. If you dont like what you see now, just wait till he stops pretending. You will be in hell.


Straight From His Mouth: The Curious Case Of Dating Men Based On Potential[/SIZE]

Potential can be one of the most dangerous things to depend on in a relationship. Time and again it seems women have gone out on a limb for men they liked who might not have had it all together, simply because she saw the potential for him to eventually have it all together. Life is unpredictable and can be filled with more curves than Amber Rose in a pair of black leggings. While this isn’t the appropriate time to discuss the economic challenges of black folks in general and black men in particular, it’s not unreasonable for a woman to want a man who’s able to handle his financial, as well as his emotional, health. Self-sufficiency is sexy, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting a man who can add to what a woman already brings to the table. With that said, dating a man full of potential isn’t necessarily a bad idea, but it would behoove women to do a better job of determining what a man’s potential is and if she’s willing to stick with him if he doesn’t fully live up to it.

First, the negatives. Dating a man with potential can be problematic if a woman isn’t able to see past it. Potential can blind a woman to some of the red flags that warn this might not be good partner in the long run. Many men, and people in general, are “on their way.” It can take years for a man to build the proper foundation necessary and many women are fine with working with a man who is working on himself (more on this later). The problem comes then, when women see the potential in men they may not see in themselves. While a man might be smart, charming, and have a plan or two about what he wants to do with his life, he still has to walk through those steps. Women should understand that simply having a plan isn’t enough. Goals without plans are simply dreams and if a man has the potential to do everything he says he wants to do but takes no (or very little) actual steps to achieve those goals, it’s very unlikely he’ll ever get to the finish line. Women often get trapped in these types of situations because it’s also very likely she’s been trying to help him realize his goals and has not only taken an active interest in supporting, but also investing. It’s like working on a slot machine for three hours and never winning much, only for the next person to come in and pull the lever to end up a millionaire. Women get trapped pulling on that same lever because they don’t want someone else to benefit from all the hard work they’ve already put in.

Now for the positive. I mentioned earlier that women like working with men who are working on themselves. The thing is, if a man has the potential to do great things and is actively working to achieve those great things, that suggests a much more stable situation. As a woman, if you can see a man with potential doing the necessary work to make himself into whomever it is he wants to be, there’s a higher chance he’ll be able to fully realize his goals. Potential by itself means nothing as, at some point, one still has to be able to prove they can do whatever they have the potential to do. Seeing a person realize their goals and aspirations is a beautiful thing and I’m sure many women would love to have a hand in a man’s success as women are naturally helpful and take great pride in having great men. Dating a man with potential who is actually doing something to actualize his potential is what makes this kind of man worthwhile.

I could probably write all day about the pros and cons of potential but here’s the best way to sum it up: Potential means nothing. Potential shouldn’t be judged in a vacuum and it shouldn’t be the only reason to date a man. If a man isn’t doing anything to live up to his potential, it’s an absolutely worthless trait to own. It’s a much smarter decision to date a man who not only has potential, but is actually doing something to realize it.

Peace.

@Tarantinoh Ndizo hizi insha zimetoka jikoni…kumekujwo

[SIZE=6]Single Ladies: Why You Should Stop Falling for a Man with Potential[/SIZE]

I’m just going to keep it real. You’re still single because you’re falling in love with men who have “potential.”

If someone has potential, it means that there’s something that can possibly be developed, but there’s no guarantee that it will ever come to pass.

When you fall in love with potential, you end up becoming “A Fixer,” someone who will give time, money and energy trying to love someone into who you think they could become, instead of accepting him for who he is.

Now I know some sisters will say, “Are you saying I need to find a man who has it all together before I date him? Isn’t that being too hard on a man?” No, I am not saying that at all. There are many men who are committed to personal growth, and are actively chasing their dreams. These men are activating their potential!

What I am warning you about is entering into a relationship (or marriage!) thinking that you’ll be able to change a man.

https://bmwkids.s3.amazonaws.com/app/uploads/2014/11/TNMCoupleDateIgnoreBad.jpg

For example, let’s say you met a man and you really like him. He’s in between jobs, doesn’t have a car, lives with his parents, and is deep in debt. You see that he’s intelligent, is ambitious, and talks about his plans to change his situation.

The more time you spend with him, the more you like him and you can see him one day becoming a great husband and father. He has big dreams and talks about them all the time.

You believe he has potential to be great one day, so you buy him books, help him look for jobs, lend him your car, pay for dates, and even loan him money.

This guy maybe hasn’t even claimed you as his woman yet, but you see the potential for your relationship. He may have given you a disclaimer that sounds something like, “I’m just not the marrying type,” or “I’m not sure I’m in a place where I can really love someone.”

Instead of accepting what he says at face value, you interpret his words to mean he just needs a little help learning how to be emotionally available.

You decide to show him how to love by being selfless, forgiving, and patient with him. He happily accepts everything you give him because he believes he’s covered his bases by sharing his honest thoughts about relationships and marriage.

Should you stick it out with him because of his potential, or move on?

You’ll know what to do based on your answer to two questions:

[SIZE=4]First, how does he see his own potential and what is he willing to do about it?[/SIZE]
If he blames people and circumstances for his current situation (it’s the economy; no one will hire me; it’s my ex-wife’s fault) then chances are he won’t take responsibility for his life.

He probably won’t be willing to do the work to change things either. He’ll always have a dream or a goal, but won’t take any real steps toward making anything happen!

[SIZE=4]Second, if he never changes, are you willing to live with the way things are? [/SIZE]
The biggest problem with dating a man for his potential is that you want him to change more than he desires to change. This leads to frustration, misunderstanding, resentment, and devastating heartbreak.

Trying to change a man is a waste of time. People only change when they are ready to change and there isn’t enough loving, nagging, or praying that can force them into become another person.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you. So do yourself a favor and stop falling in love with potential. It’s leading you into pain!

Fall in love with a man’s ability to be consistent, because that’s the only way you can know what to expect from him, and you’ll be on your way to a real, lasting relationship.

With my pen and paper taking 'no’tes.

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@GeorginaMakena on a serious note,from your past posts i have come to the conclusion that you are either a Feminazi(radical feminist) or you are dealing with some self assurance issues.FYI you are no better than the millions of women roaming the earth right now.These petty issues you keep obsessing about(mara Virgins,mara Unicorns) are fairy tales we dealt with while we were still teenagers.My advice is that you live with the decisions that you made and let others find their own way through life,afterall nobody is an expert on how to live life-we are all on a journey of discovery.

Ni hayo tu kwa sasa,Meffi.

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@GeorginaMakena = njoki chege. Wewe from your articles I’d say you’re one and the same person or as mbirrionaire amesema hapo juu​:point_up::point_up::point_up: Wewe ni Feminazi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4PKjML6Y3U

Hehe Marriage is a trap.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg87vl3MZQg

“If it flies, floats or fucks, you’re better off renting”

Georgina Makena sounds like those useless miss independents, who want to waste a mans time while withholding pu**sy

Why are men here so butthurt about being told the truth? You procreating is not a right it’s a contest that you must win. If women accept failure men, they lower the standards for the whole society.
If you educate a girl she will only date educated men, that is good for society. If a woman has steady income she has no reason to be with a broke ass PlayStation man. Only other men with income have a chance with her.
_
You Kenyan men need to man up and see your responsibility in your failures. Stop being lazy and whiny

why would a well educated man start playing cat & mouse games with this silly career driven women who have endless demands while there are simple hot kungurus jumping around the estate?

Could have fooled me that you are past teenage with all the nude photos you post, are you an admin? Nah! So basically you have no power to dictate anything to me .You can not tell me what to post or not post kwani who are you? If you dont like my post finy ignore button sawa Baba Nyanduse. Usiniletee instructions. You cant afford to give me any instructions. You can have the shit you want (porn and stupid posts about women) and fuck you even as my last resort. You are blocked mofo. Mushenzzi. Feminazi ni mamako na nyanyako . Idiotic kangaroo.

Call me what you want it’ll never stop me from speaking truth ! When you are busy insulting and demeaning and dehumanising and objectifying women here its ok but when I just get very truthful articles and copy paste here you want to insult. Who are you? Just another stupid mongoose seated behind a handle.If you hate what I post press ignore.Nobody is holding a gun to your head to follow me .Sawa? Lakini because failures are used to taking advantage of women and am calling it as it is munaogopa wajinga wataerevuka. Pole boss. You can not tell me anything.

Am her role model.

You sound like a useless and broke scrub who wants to waste women’s time by telling them to hold on to your potential and baby when I make it big I will buy you a yacht. Lemme educate you, pussy is for legally married reach husbands not hedgehogs like you.What is your time worth anyway? If you are a brokeass its not worth a damn thing and whoever is witholding pussy from you can just see your lazy ass doesnt deserve anything let alone pussy. Ati wasting a man’s time ? If you werent wasting it what good would it do you ? What would you use it for ? Kuenda kwa mjei? Peleka entitlement issues zako kwa mamako. Im not your mother. You are not worthy of anyone’s pussy let alone being entitled to it. Useless bugger . Ati useless independent woman , atleast am paying taxes unlike you who is only useful for nothing. So delusional! A poor man talking about how useless a reach woman is? Really? Peleka sawa grapes huko mbali you no good demon. Women’s pussy has better things to do thats why its witheld from you. Id rather be useless than dish out pussy to a retard like you. Retarded Kangaroo.

how can your husband even stand your attitude? maybe he should have used the dowry cash to buy a second hand kawasaki bike like me instead of marrying you

Kelele za chura. Let them vent . Its hitting a nerve thats what is irritating them.