Laser Light Finale

Four months after we met nikapata job ya kuweka BUD directly opposite her apartment kwa msee fulani alikua amejenga ka mansionette poa sana. to the unintiated, BUD stands for Big Ugly Dish, had convinced the fellow that he needed two monster 8ft dishes to enjoy full FTA freedom in glorious HD. Jamaa hakua na issue ni pesa tu za kununua material alitoa bila kusumbua na Succeed ile mnajua ni newshape iliweza kubeba izi dish comfortably plus a ladder on the roof rack. kufika kwa site called “my girl” and told her achomoke kwa balcony anione, shaitani ilitoka ikaanza kuwave g-string ya red, ikapiga simu kuniambia niende nigrab ka quickie on the bed where it our crazy romance had begun, almost went, hio ikus was tamu but kazi mbele ya maku always, never forget that.

installing a BUD pia sio kazi mingi, what takes time is the assembly na vile ilikua Super Sunday and liverpool were to kick off at 6pm i had a mtu wa mkono. We assembled the dishes chap chap under the hot sun, fixed the primefocus LNB (ile ya katikati) and started dancing with the dish facing west. (the other was facing east), i always start with the sats on the west because they are easier to shoot down, by the time ni set LNB ya nne kwa hio dish it was 4pm, used the drill to fix it firmly on the floor with clamps and roll bolts na nikarukia ya east side, by 6pm 5 LNBs were on the dish but the last one ya 75e ilikua inasumbua, pia mrembo alikua amesumbua sana na kutuma nudes kalikali akitaka jua naenda saa ngapi na food iko ready, couldnt get maximum signal, nilijua tu niharaka yangu juu game ilikua ishaanza, kaachana na hio kazi connected my small 10inch tv to the sat with EPL and settled down ku enjoy game, kazi nikaambia kijanaa tutamaliza after liverpool kukamua nyoka, we made ourselves comfortable na ata mwenye nyumba joined us hapo juu kwa roof. mimi sipendagi boss akija kunisimamia nikifanya kazi. i then texted queen and promised to take her out nikimaliza hustle. she replied with more nudes, then akapiga siu akaongea na ile voice ya slayqueens wakiomba kitu, hua wanaongea kaa 5yr old girls wakisema “stakiiiii, Kujaaaa, nakumisssss”, never fall for that false voice.

Gladually kagiza kakaingia tajiri waku akaitisha mzinga tukaendelea kumumunya hapo juu tukiwatch game, by half time we were leading by 1 goal na saa hio ndio nilipata ka msg from msuper eti mzee ameingia nikajua hio siku sitapima oil. couldnt concentrate on the game again as i started wondering kaa amefuta msgs kwa simu yake, siku yangu iliendelea kua mbaya wakati Liverpool ilichapwa by 2 clear goals.

Haisuru, tukaendelea na job, got my signal in 10minutes na wakati natumia drill nifix dish permanently nikaona kale ka pinpoint laser light ka scope ya gun ka red on the dish then kakasettle on my chest coming from the direction of my girls aparment.

in a fraction of a second nikajijazia the KDF hubby had found out about us and i was in his crosshair, his sniper gun was trained on me, without thinking mimi huyo nikakimbia to the edge of the roof and jumped from two stories up, didnt jump blindly though, my adrenalin pumped mind had remembered on which side of the building i had seen a heap of sand, this broke my fall or i would have ended up dead on the cabro paved parking, i landed, rolled under my Succeed kaa heart rate yangu iko 500 beats a minute

nikaskia kijana yangu ya mkono ikiitana, Meria, Meria, uko wapi, kuna nini? wakashuka ngazi na boss wakaja kunitafuta, told them to keep quiet and get down, they sensed the fear in my voice na wakatii. meanwhile the red laser dot light ikarudi hapo kwa side of the hse drawing crazy patterns na kaa tumechuchumaa hapo kwa gari tukikuliwa na uwoga ndio tuliskia kicheko kubwa watu wakicheka hadi wanamaliza revs, the mad laughter was coming from the apartment block.

i rolled away from the carand on my knees i went to the other side of the compound ni cheki hio block vizuri, ile niliona calmed me down and made me mad at the same time too.

Kuna viteenagers viwili zilkuwa na somekind of laser light emitting devise on the fourth floor, they were shinning the pinpoint light on anything and everything, i signaled all clear to my kijanaa na mdosi tukasimama and looked at the fellows who were laughing at us, in a minute nilikua hio fourth floor and burst into their hse kawapata hapo kwa balcony, niliwatandika kaa nyoka hadi sister yao, the only other person in the hse screamed neighbors wakaja kuangalia ni nini including my msuper na bwanake.

Nikawaelezea what had happened and how i had jumped from the roof risking my life, the boys were ordered to produce the device which turned out to be a pen.
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Jehova wa matuini, hii kalamu ndio ilinishtua hivo, the KDF guy promptly confiscated it and informed everyone that although it was not illegal to own such a pen, it was illegal to shine its light on people or aircraft, tension was defused and mume mwenza akaniambia pole with a pat on my back, couldnt dare look at the queen.

on the way down kwa floor yao he invited me for a drink which i politely refused with the excuse that i still had to finish the dish setup. He insisted that due to my near death experience i had to take something strong to steady my nerves and led me inside the apartment Queen served us whisky on the rocks na yeye akajiwekea soda, for like 20 minutes we talked about NDEs and KDF was kind enough to share how they deal with it in the military, wakati alitaja debriefing nikajua nikikaa hapa kinaweza lipuka, stood up, thanked him for the drink and advice and said i have to go, ile acting tulifanya na queen acha tu, Kaa ni Hollywood tungepewa Oscar. we were total strangers, doubt she even looked at me ata mara moja.

Nilienda nikamaliza kufunga dish ya east, katia dollar mfukoni kalipa kijana yangu na hio usiku nikilala kacheza hio tape yote kwa kichwa, hio uwoga yoote ilikua imetokana na na kukamua pipi ya mtu. nikajiambia apana, never again shall i kula vitu za wenyewe eti nikiwa kwa barabara naogopa kuwa ambushed juu you never know who know and walls have ears and eyes. i resolved to tafuta kitu yangu ni weke kwa nyumba.

Nihayo tu kwa sasa. Naingia Mundeke kumeza mbili Muarabu ameniachilia mapema reo.

I

39/40 kwa ubunufi ingawa umeongezea ilikii na mudalasini hekaya iko swafi

Safi chief

It is sad that the piperange did not make an appearance…but I guess another type did make a cameo.

A pipe range is a very good weapon.
Has been known to break skulls

A piperange can not break any skull. But a pipewrench can and does break skulls,and arms,and shinbones and fingers et al.

Got another pipe with deep range that makes girls go wild.
Queen couldn’t get enough of it

Hehehehehehe!

Hekaya poa Chief.

Kkkkkkk
Aki wewe nattydread woiyee
Ile siku utaskia hivo run my fren

Jinga!
You are preaching wine and drinking water…why advice @Nattydread to run to end of the world yet you run towards the kanyau?

Safi kabisa

i bought this ka-device (laserpen) from kill mall,sometimes especially on sundays nikiwa bored usiku .Mi hutoka nayo nje naanza ku-terrorize ma neighbor .This light can shoot up to a Km

Chief achana na hio phrase…u jst sounded like the Queen herself!!!

many have passed through my hands

Nice read:p:p

:D:D

Kuna place tumecheswo but nice read myamaa.