Drink Amario and know why birds fly
There used to be a fellow called Fai Omar Amario. What was his real name again, Njoroge wa What? I can’t remember.
He lived in Naivasha. By some accounts, he was rich. By other accounts, nearly everything he owned had come from someone’s blood. He was probably the most infamous carjacker of our generation. But he also owned a brewery. Amario Vodka, Amario Blue Moon, Amario this and that. The tagline on his brews was “You will know why birds fly”. The drinks[ATTACH=full]353609[/ATTACH] were so strong that people would take a sip and shoot out of the bar, running towards Kinangop, while screaming at unseen aliens to “please stop, I just want to talk!”. Those days, you would drive through Naivasha and youths had red eyes popping out of their sockets like they were acting a zombie movie, all their trousers wet. You see Amario’s products defied the bladder. You drank and it passed on to the feet. And they used to cause heavy duty diep. People were walking around with a line of diep behind them!
You will know why birds fly.
Now Amario used to do public interviews for a wife, after divorcing the previous. You know women from East of Migaa. They would fill the interview in large numbers. Nobody ever asked where the previous wives were. Turns out Amario would kill them and bury them right under the floor of his mansion. When the police later gathered the courage to go after Amario (he seemed to have had strange protection, some say a Nigerian dibia had done things), they found his ex wives resting in pieces under the floor, alongside a huge bounty of motorvehicle parts. In the mansion where he lived!
Those days, even the police were so helpless that they adviced vehicle owners of certain brands to avoid the Naivasha route. Amario and his gang would pursue you and pluck you out of the road like a biscuit. Your car would be in pieces shortly. Nobody knows why Amario was never arrested for all the things he did. One day, he got word that some two accountants at his Kerugoya vodka depot had tinkered with his books and stolen several million shillings. He asked them to wait for him so he could drive to Kerugoya to talk. They waited. Their bodies would later be found in the forest with several six-inch nails sunk deep into their heads. They now knew why birds flew.
Believe it or not, Amario was an alumnus of Starehe Boys Centre! Now, there are three schools in this country that have such a strong and vibrant old boys networks that they become school tribes; Maseno, Alliance and Starehe. They are families. They also have very strict seniority creeds, where those who went before you will forever remain “Senior” in all communication. The schools would routinely keep tabs on their old students and get involved in their issues. No manager was more adept at this than Geoffrey Griffin, the Starehe Center supremo. He tried helping Amario. He would invite him to meetings. Amario would come having drunk some of his brews, and would ask Griffin if he wanted a certain type of car so he could dash out and grab him one from the road! Exasperated to the end of his wits, Griffin once told the media that he had produced the finest gentlemen in the country, then he had produced Amario, testimony that every production machine sometimes churned out damaged goods! He knew why birds flew.
The day Amario died, the sigh of relief across the country was so loud you could hear it from Fiji. More of his houses were broken and more people were resting in pieces in the floors. More stolen cars everywhere. More trouble.
Whatever you do this year, avoid any temptations to know why birds fly.
:D:D:D:D
We need someone skilled in filmmaking to produce a movie that depict the life of this guy.
:D:D:D
Not just him. Kenya has so many crazy, interesting stories to tell, from mind boggling scandals to political assassinations to exploits of outlaws. Unfortunately due to the big men who are often involved in these stories, it will take a very long time before we can make films out of them.
Macharia hii sio handwriting yako, umeiba wapi?
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