Vipi wadau… I would wish to teach you how to deal with people wakiwa na madharau ya upuzi. This happened when i was still a peasant back in the days.
Here is the first episode; it happened while i was in coast. It was a fine morning, i was taking this young toddler to school, we were on foot. It had really rained a lot the previuos night. Tukiwa tumekaribia apo port reitz there came a certain lady driving in a CRV honda, sa na madharau yake akatusplashia maji chafu ya matope, mark you ni monday morning, mtoi ni msafi nampeleka shule nikienda hustle. I really got mad, niliacha apo mtoi, took his lunch box nikamwaga food ilikua ndani, took a motorbike na nikaambia uyo jamaa wa motorbike afuate hiyo gari.
After kitu 200metres ivi tukapata traffic ni kubwa and the vehicle pia iko tu apo kwa jam, what i did na hizo hasira zangu i took the lunchbox nikachota maji ya matope and headed straight to the vehicle, & that lady na ujinga yake alikua ameshukisha dirisha, nilimwosha na iyo maji ya matope, nikachota ingine tena nikamwosha & I told her if it means ni kurudi nyumbani, then we all have to go back home. Mimi sipendangi ujinga!:mad:
Another incident nayo ilikua in pangani mtaa. Nikiwa natembea kwa esto kuna mother akarusha pampers na choo ya mtoi kutoka juu ya ghorofa ikaniangukia ikanichafua. I remember i walked door by door kwa hiyo flat nikiulizia nani alifanya ivo, no one responded na nikajua huyo dawa yake kidogo. Nikaamua acha nitishie watu na kitu ata sijui hufanywa aje:rolleyes: I took the pampers nikaikunja na nikaiweka kwa paperbag(when they were still operating) an i shouted from the gate, “hii si ni kinyezi ya mtoto,…,… mwenye amefanya hivi atanitafuta!:saitan:” Wadau uyo mama alitupa iyo pampers alijitokeza:D:D, mama alinililia hadi akapiga magoti, she pleaded with me nimpee tu hiyo pampers na hangerudia iyo tabia tena, deep in my mind i knew she had learnt the hard way. Bring your experiences wadau
Nilienda once kwa mkahawa hapo Thika. Nikaitisha chipo na kuku. Washenzi wakaniletea. Vile tu nilianza kukula nikagundua hiyo kuku ilikuwa haijaiva na inanuka kuoza kidogo. Nikaita manager kando nikamwelezea. To my surprise jamaa alijifanya unconcerned. Mimi nikalipa, alafu nikajifanya naenda kwa choo. Nikaingia store yao, nikafungua deep freezer na kukojoa ndani alafu nikatoka.
It seems this is a common thing in Msa. And when people get splashed on roadside why is it always a lady driver? Sunday morning Nyali pale kenol near Naivas. Huwa kunakusanyika maji kwa barabara hapo. Watu wachache pale stage.
Likaja gari offroad kubwa mbio likanipita manake oncoming lane ilikuwa wazi.
Bana weee! Watu kuoshwa. Mama mwingine kupiga nduru kumbe pale kuna watu wa motor bike na rende vijana sijui walitoka wapi ghafla mama kufuatwa. Hakufika mbali. Tukampata wamemshika hapo kwa Zayed karibu stage ya mbombolulu estate jam. Kumbe ni mama aliendesha hilo gari. Sijui walimfanya nini.
Kuna jamaa alisplash waraibu wa bangi wakiwa raundi Mwenda, akapata jam hapo mbele karibu na garage walipaka windshield used oil, ilibidi aliegeshe gari kando lioshwe.
Mimi sija learn the hard way but nimeonea kwa mzazi. Since Mumias sugar company had issues paying cane farmers on time, most farmers perferred taking their cane to West Kenya sugar company (Kabras). Sa ndo upeleke miwa from one company’s sugar zone to the other kuna barua kadhaa mtu hupewa to prevent cane poaching. Hizi barua kupata took mzae over two weeks and countless visits to various administrative offices.
After kuvuna miwa from Busia county sisi hao headed to Kabras. Kufika Nambale tukasimamishwa na askari was sukari wa Mumias and they demanded the papers. Mzae akamwambia haina haja ya papers, we chukua hii 500 ndo tuangalie mambo ya makaratasi juu zipo. jamaa akasema hataki pesa ya mzae, he only wanted the papers. Mzae akamwabia basi chukua 1K, ninja ikakua mkali. Mzae akamshow sio ati hatuna makaratasi but nakununulia tu chai as a law enforcer. Karau akakataa pesa all the time insisting for papers.
Mzae akaona hapa hawatasaidiana akamtolea all the documentations dully stamped and signed. Ninja after kusoma had to proof read for confirmation purposes. Then akaomba sasa ile chai. “Mzee si ulikua unaninunulia chai?”. Mzae akamshow “haya nipe makaratasi” after kurudisha akamshow alinunuliwa aka kataa na hawezi bembelezea mtu kitu hataki. Ninja pleaded lakini wapi na hivyo ndo alienda akikauka.
Nkiwa raundi zangu pale Ngong road nateremka from Impala club heading to Adams arcade na komerera yangu, unajua vyenye mujamaa uwachilia mahaga ju, donda fulani wa ma3 akaniwasha nyahunyo kwa thutha na mbathi ikaishia. Kufika hapo namba nane naipata kwa jam na donda amechora saba anakunja mguu ya toja. Hehe … ile avunja nlimwingizia kwa makei haijawai onekana tena.
I kitambo I went clubbing with a chick I really liked halafu nikalewa sana tukazozana na [SIZE=4]vijana[/SIZE] walikuwa next table walipoanza kuongelesha huyo dem. (Kitambo nikilewa nilikuwa mjinga). Lakini hata hivyo walikuwa wengi wakanilemea afu nikabebwa juujuu na mabouncer. Sema kuacha mzinga sijamaliza.
[SIZE=1][Nikakaa kwa gari kidogo afu nikaamua tu niende room. Nikapata huyo dem kumbe pia yeye alitoka ako hapo kwa watchman ananiulizia. Akazusha akateta akafanya ujinga sitaki kusema afu make-up sex.][/SIZE]
A few weekends later am in the same club with my crew this time round. Niko kwa choo nakojoa. Who do I see coming in? One of those maaafakas. Alone! Hajaniona. Namaliza kukojoa yeye ndio anaanza. I zip up clear my throat and approach. Guy sees me and eyes open like maaafaking headlights.
We have a small scuffle during which I get peed on but I hit that guy so hard my small finger knuckle has never been the same. He screams like a pig. I walk out hurriedly and leave him huddled in a corner. I joined my crew. Never heard anything of it, but shortly one of the bouncers passed by our table pointed at me smiling and waving his finger at me. I greeted him and bought him a guinness kubwa.
Am at a club in Nakuru… Nani anajua Farmers? Hiyo. Popular with guys from Planet sababu ya makuro(uliskia hilo jona last lini)
There is a band playing. I am requesting for a song and mwanajeshi mwingine wants to request too. One had to pay to request…we get into a kind of bidding war…akitoa thate natoa fote… I win na nikamwambia aheshimu mbeca and as I go back to my sit,guy pulls me around and pushes me to the ground standing over me like sasa Sena. Am a small guy so I guess in his mind he wanted to emphasize yeye ni jeshi untouchable hata kama nimeshinda hiyo stupid game ya song request.
Me naamka polepole narudi kwa meza and cuss at him. Those days kuambia mtu ferk you was a big deal. I had shouted the cuss so my tablemates noticed the guy coming at me ready to pulverize me.
What he did not know was that at the tables was the club’s owner… Akaulizwa na heshima nini mbaya…uwanajeshi wake wate ukajitokeza pamoja na shosho yake. Akajaribu kuslap the boss, hata haikufika kwa face kabla mangumi zitambe… Ile vita alionwa ndani ya store na mabouncer wueh…halafu kubebwa mpaka nje to a waiting landrover ya makarao…