It is inevitable that as one gets old, their mental and physical faculties deteriorate. Now my old guy, who is almost 80, has reached a level where he has to be handled like a baby. Yaani, you cant leave him alone coz he might wander outside the gate and cant retrace his way back home. You cant have any intelligent conversation with him coz he talks of things, events, friends, etc of the 80s. He even wets his bed. And he can’t recognize me- his real child. Basically, my 70-yr old mum is like she’s caring for a 5-yr old baby.
So good people, would it be advisable to enroll him to a nyumba ya wazee? How is life there @ CoachP? Any recommendations plus charges?
NB: We love our dad, and this is not an attempt to dump him.
In my secondary school, we used to make weekend visits to nyumba ya wazee that was near Kikuyu eye hospital in Thogoto. It’s not a bad place. Am nit sure if @vuja_de and @couchp made visits to the home during their time in school.
I think the old people’s home is still there, however wouldn’t it be better to employ help where the family can supervise rather than putting him under the care of strangers
Sunday school was a good guise of getting out of school, skipping chapel the sessions and socializing with Ax. My station was Dago children’s home
life is a circle. it didn’t bother him when you pooped and pee’d yourself…or he would have taken you to an institution until you could take care of yourself…
he may actually be helping his mom. At 70, no one should have to spend so much time and energy on that type of care for another. The only other solution is to employ a full time nurse plus a housegirl to take care of them both. … thats more or less like putting them in a home.
If I do get to 80, I hope I can join a retirement community or live in a home where I will have easy access to meds, interact with my agemates etc
@aviator its your turn to return the favor. He took care of you when you were young, he did not return you to hospital and said “hii imetoboka nibadilishie”…when u wet your bed…Think about it and do it gladly like a son…be proud of him…You are who you coz of him.
Guys, am telling you it is not like we are dumping him. Just that we are exploring: whats best for him. At home, he os bored and its also risky since mum sometimes has to go somewhere and leave him alone. Most are the times analetwa back na neighbours who meet him on the road, akisema ati anaenda job KNH. Mark you he was working there till kitu 1979. Am thinking he will have better company with his agemates in such a home, and in as much as he doesn’t recognize me, I could visit him daily.
Juzi, we had a church gathering at home. After the function, akashika jia ati hes going home. In short, he doesn’t know where he is, and wont miss home or anyone.
One of the things you have to remember in this situation is that it isn’t all about you. Most people decide to keep their frail, elderly parents at home and neglect them while preaching this whole “return the favor” thing. I know its a mixed bag because some people actually do take care of their parents at home but for the most part, ya’ll just invite them to live with you and stick them in a corner room somewhere in the house then keep living your lives as if they aren’t even there.
Your elderly parents shouldn’t have to live in a house where you work till 6PM, then go out drinking and come back in the AM to a resentful wife who is tired herself and a bunch of kids who wear everyone down. It isn’t comparable to the care they gave you when you were a child. Taking care of a child isn’t the same as taking care of an old person. That is actually insulting to even think about.
I’m very sure that many old people would pick a home simply because the quality of life is much better there. They get attended to, and most important, they have so many other people who understand how they feel and can interact with them without infantilising them. The only problem is that our culture teaches us that living in a home is shameful … just like how we’re taught that seeking mental healthcare is shameful.
Mi nilikuwa nasema naenda Sunday School teaching, lakini as soon as nimetoka nje, natembea hadi Kikuyu kucheza pool . Siku moja tulipatana na Mr Kamotho kwa pub, lakini alinyamazia hiyo stori
In the states and UK its a widespread concept because its extremely expensive to care for the aged and most of the times it becomes a burden to the family…and there are some very good homes…but hapa kenya mimi huona ni kama its for people who are abandoned hatano one comes to visit them any more
[FONT=Verdana][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia][SIZE=2][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=3]Take your responsibility, hapana dump mzee hivi hivi, utapata laana. When my grandpa hit that age, my dad took him at our place. His was worse but systems were put in place to accommodate him and make his sunset days comfortable. It wasn’t easy but in my judgement…it was worth. Your case is different. Find a better way of handling the issue. You’ll thank me latter. Ni hayo tu.[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]
Even before reading ANY reply, AM SHOCKED THAT ANY KENYAN IN HIS/HER RIGHT MIND can think of institutionalising their parent. That’s just downright mean, extremely selfish and wrong. We simply don’t do that here.
Especially because the cost of homecare is soo cheap in Kenya. To employ a decent maid/nurse costs you just Sh10,000. Add up the costs of adult diapers and let’s say thats Sh15,000. Is that too much to pay for the guy who wiped your ass, fed you and paid your fees for something like 25 years?
Am sorry Aviator, the mere fact that you have considered this tells me that you (and the rest of you) are extremely selfish. And thats my honest opinion.
First, that is not a nurse. That is not a healthcare expert who knows how to handle the medical and mental needs of someone who has Alzheimer or any of the other medical issues which come with age.
Second, thats a random person you expect to wash your old parents for you because YOU don’t wanna do it yourself IN YOUR OWN HOME. If you’re employing someone just so you don’t have to wash your parents yourself, then you’re the selfish one.
If the only reason you’re living with your elderly parents is because you need to score “african” points, then I feel sorry for them.
. Siku moja tulipatana na Mr Kamotho kwa pub, lakini alinyamazia hiyo stori