I had a very good job with an NGO which came to an end in Dec. I had worked there for quite sometime and decided it was time to explore other opportunities and gain new skillsets. I was also kind of burned out and decided to ‘smell the roses’, spend more time with my family in Nairobi (I’m in Mombasa) and fence as well as plant trees in my kaplot huku bara (btw if you have investments and you are far, make a point of visiting it once in a while usipate it has new owners). By the way I absolutely recommend this for anyone who is employed and never takes leaves. Life is too short to be cooped up behind a desk. Employers also don’t give a shit, you will be replaced immediately you die (remember the late governor Nderitu Gachagua, dude died at 4am. By 8 am there was a new acting governor and by 6 am tenants living in his apartments had already been given instructions to deposit rent in new bank accounts).
Lessons I learned:
People and society absolutely judge you by the kind of job you have and what you own and what you can do for them. The first thing I noticed when it happened is the phonecalls stopped. Even invites to parties disappear. Even former colleagues, people just kind of disappear.
People who kept asking you for money or helped, once you ask them for money or any type of help, they stop calling you. I wish I had learned this earlier. The best way to stop handouts is to omba them pia. Some people feel ashamed when they tell you no yet you helped them.
Only donate what you have to weddings, birthdays etc. If someone calls you and asks for money for food, let’s say 1k. Tell them you only have 100 bob. They can’t refuse. The only donations I do generously is hospital and funeral bills. Akina baby shower hapana.
Explore business ideas and those things you are interested in and never had time to look at. For example I attended some businesses conferences, visited some farmers in my rural areas and just talked to them. I also attended my niece’s school events. I plan on developing my plot one day so I visited some construction sites just to see and have an idea of what goes on. I also tangatangad and was amazed to see just how fast Nairobi develops. One day there is an empty space, the next day kuna mjengo.
Keep a good bank balance to sustain you. I don’t have kids or a family to support so my situation is kind of different. Save and save for a rainy day.
After 6 months of rest, I decided to get back into employment. Nime attend interview kadhaa and a few job offers including the South Sudan one where Ktalkers adviced me to turn down though hiyo pesa niliacha bado inaniuma.
You are eons late if this is the time you’re realizing this. People actually never like you…they love what they can get from you. Slide off the career/business ladder and you may as well throw away your phone because the hitherto ceaseless calls will dwindle, and approach zero. Smses will be mostly from safaricom whoring its offers.
If you got a big career, expect constant calls from ‘buddies’ willing to buy you beer but if that career comes to an end, hata one mug of keg will be difficult to come by. Generally, people are hypocrites and out of your 20 friends, probably only 4 at most are genuine. The rest nothing but scumbags dousing you with fake smiles.
Befriend ideas. Search for ideas that will be profitable tomorrow and capitalize on them. Wachana na watu.
Ive never gone through this, but i know it happens. That why i choose being with my family when free. Am only free on Sundays and i’ve programmed my day from church, watching movies to bed. I made my buddies believe that, am always busy, so they dont even call.
Now you know all those goat eating ceremonies, night parties, ngurarios and ruracios are a waste of your valuable time with people who don’t deserve. Some people never get the opportunity when young to know this, they live a life full of lies. After retiring they find out they actually had no friends and feel lonely, in about 5years after retire they give up and die of depression.
Weeh my friend, One day I decided to take a long leave, being a wakaholic:D:D:D:D and claimed Job ndio imeisha to fam and friends. Ata landlord alinipea notice to vacate alipopata wind toka kwa watchie ati sina job, alisema since anataka kuimprove the complex I gotta go which never happened as the day nlihama other people waliingia. The hoard of borrowers ended and I came to realize you need friends out of work. I also learnt many things about kujenga. It was a nice time and hapo ndio nlirudi job after leave, Now I work 8 to5 sharp, Natoka kuishi maisha yangu
Hehehe, reminds me when niliachwa kuitwa boss. I don’t know how some people reason, they think kama huna job hautawai pata tena. It is like you are doomed and you will never recover. Hapo borrowers kuisha I agree, I feel free.
Hii ni kali :D:D:D I am obviously nowhere near Bitange Ndemo’s level but I understand exactly what he felt. Mpaka hiyo part you think your phone is accidentally off and you have to confirm it’s on :D:D:D:D:D:D I have been there
At first I was annoyed seeing this things on social media feeds, najiuliza kama I was invited nikasahau or what happened. Then I realized it’s probably because I’m no longer cool, nobody is going to introduce me as ‘this is nimechoka and currently hana job’
I think you have learned life’s biggest lesson and that is… no-one is your friend in this world. I can’t add anymore to what has been said by others above. I quit a good job a few years as I was exhausted and fancied a total career change. The looks of apprehension on my siblings’ faces was very worrying but I did not need their support. Had a good break holidaying in my house by myself and I have no regrets. FF I am quitting the current one soon and it has been advertised as 2 positions! taimagini…what does that tell you about employers? they used me whilst they could. Am I hurt? no. Am I shocked? no. You have to look after number 1 all the time be it socially or in employment. They have been very good to me, no stress.
Lesson learnt: When I next take up another contract, I will study the contract like my life depends on it.
And then you know what? My phone stopped ringing. Before the tragedy, I used to be bombarded by calls to the extent that I was forced to switch off the phone to tend to my private life. All kinds of people rung me regularly. But when the governor died, they forgot I existed. They just vanished…
A friend I helped pay university fees for, accommodation and get Sh150,000 when his wife was sick run away from me. He has not as much as texted me to-date.
At least I hoped such people would visit me, call or text to give me hope. I didn’t want money from them but compassion.
Interestingly, the few who came to my rescue were not my close friends before the accident. One of them raised cash from friends and gave it to my wife. Others visited me but and even without mentioning it would buy stuff needed at home and hospital and give them to my wife. I came to learn about their acts of kindness later.
Others visit, but our encounters end up hurting me more when they remind me how I interacted with who-is-who only months back
The most important things is to never take it personally. And always remember, dont stop being a friend! Sometimes you may not realise it but its you who may have stopped being a friend, you know always taking the first step and checking up on people…its differwnt if you call and they dont pick up, atleast you can drop them knowing you tried!
You must be a friend first and foremost before having friends!