I wasn’t interested in applying for a senior most Job in my research facility . Deadline was on Monday. So I was relaxing that afternoon doing some fishing in some local lakes. (Here, we catch fish using a fishing rod, feel it and let it go on water).
Then my phone rang , looking at it I saw it was the director. So why could he be calling me on Sunday ? I wondered.Then he retorted back " Bottoms why didn’t you apply for that job? We have a lot of external people applying but you are letting go? I need your application by tomorrow!! "
So that night I burnt oil doing resume and was happy do send it . I went for interview and finally I got the job . But… have you ever gotten a senior Job that instead of being happy you become depressed and sad ?
I started drinking more and more wine before I sleep, something that I had stopped after my completion of my divorce …
So I went to talk to this sweet islander lady who happened to be my “chips funga “about not having peace since I got this new job a week ago. She said something that I won’t forget :” Listen to your heart !!” 7 days later, I listened to my heart and went and told the director I can’t do it… !! You should see the shock on his face …
To cut story short ,I slept peacefully last week Friday and stopped drinking. Getting promotion at work place doesn’t guarantee happiness . It’s good to have something little that gives you happiness than something big that makes you miserable.
You don’t like challenges,
You don’t like positions of authority,
You don’t like to be the one making decisions.
Basically you like being nondescript, hiding behind others and not willing to leave your comfort zone.
Wazungu do have serious office politics that you don’t want to mess with . You need to align yourself with the right political team to succeed once you go up otherwise utamalizwa. I have no time for that shit. I’m an African who loves his cocoon. I finish work I go do fishing .
I might not know the intensity of pressure you were going through for you to step down. Sio kwa ubaya mse, but to my opinion your fear of responsibility or new challenges will be your down-fall. Sijui kama huyo director gave you back your old position, if he did, prepare yourself for the most difficult three months of your life before uonyeshwe mlango urudi juu ya mawe fishing. Utatafuta huyo sweet islander for motivation tena but ataku cheka my guy
the boss believed in you, you never believed in yourself, i think you lost the confidence, you need to be master of adaptation and believe in this saying Kaende kaende, acha uoga, at times u push urself to limits and set them higher than u have ever reached, to me u dont have a strong character, i would not like u in a team i am leading, u have fear,
@Bottoms I’m guessing you may be a PhD, maybe postdoc or even Abd and you’re being asked to be a lead researcher…politics ni lazima lakini also dont pigeon hole yourself…that position or the reference of your performance in that position could have opened many other doors for you! Kaa ngumu! And God speed!
Wrong. If you explain to a mzungu your reasons honestly, they understand. My employer is more than happy to even downgrade you if you ask for it on health grounds and wellness matters.
@Bottoms,
You are living with a disability
The director saw your dexterity
But you are debilitated by your timidity
You will never realize your capability
If you don’t move with rapidity
And go beyond the anxiety You are paralyzed by fear
You made the right choice. In kenya, the moment you accept to be the managing trustee of nssf or the boss at kpa, you are done. you will be thrown out of office without your reputation and personal honour.