Uwesmake need not read this thread.
Anyways, on Thursday I was off and went for my annual medical check up. They removed six vials of blood and I urinated in a cup. Of course this was accompanied by STD check to make sure that I am not a carrier.
Just as I was peeing in the cup I received an urgent call (don’t ask how I was holding cup, phone, and phallus with only two arms…just read the story). The cup almost overflowed but luckily I was able to interruptus before I made a mess of myself and the toilet seat.
I decided to leave and not wait for results so mentioned to the nurse that I will be back Saturday as I left to attend to the urgent matter. Easter was starting early and was going to be away for a bit until Monday evening.
I received a call from the clinic on Saturday that my results were ready and I need to come “talk to the doctor about the results” exactly what the nurse said.
Let’s just say my Easter I was very unsettled for those words kept ringing in.my head. Are people going to be singing Luwere Nyasaye for me this early in my life?. I tried to recall all DFHKM sessions I’d had since last time I got tested. I had even narrowed it down to the near misses I’d had. I even thought of calling ex asking her if our DF sessions were safe. I even asked myself WWUD ( what would uwesmake do). To which my brain responded he would not worry and would grab the closest momo and celebrate one for Iscariots sake.
I forgot about the call until I got back to the hospital waiting area where it all began a few days ago. I saw the nurse I’d talked to and she was looking at me funny. She even asked if I want to see a different doctor but I wanted to see luther12…I don’t trust another to give me bad news. I was there for an hour or so and I must say I’d recalibrate my life fifteen times, confessed all sins twice. I even swore to be more vigilant with these women who give it up too easy.
FFWD to Doctors office and he asks “leo nikusaidie aje tony?”…Is this guy joking ama this is routine to ease me into bad news. “Nimekujia results daktari., nilikuwa safari kidogo.” "Oh sawa, hata ndio hii file hapa. "
He peruses and confirms kila kitu sawa. My cholesterol is a but high and I have a stomach virus. Damn roadside food. As for any STD, clean like whistle.
Summar: know your status.
