madame sikizeni hapa...ways to survive your hair during the rainy season..

ssp

Village Elder
#1
1. Paka arimis/Vaseline on your hair. Si ni waterproof?

2. Urmm… buy an umbrella. It always surprises me that women can have all these things in their handbag: Kuku ya last week, pillow, two pairs of high heels, a stolen baby, torch, powerbank, charger, kifagio, blowdryer, pepperspray, CCTV camera, scotchbrite, toothbrush, calculator, royco but no umbrella!! Aki mnatuangusha.

3. Buy a shower cap. Cant wait to see the designer shower caps that you will all have. “Hii nilitoa Dubai… si ya Kenya”

4. Get a car. Hii story ya kudate hustler iishe. Let the matatus become a sausage fest affair… but with that said, guys with cars will now become polygamous as they carpool all their love interests. Ladies, buy your own cars. You are more than capable of this.

5. Nyoa kipara. This is so obvious and cheap. “Shika mbao, nyoa kipaa safi kaa balloon” – Bobby Mapesa. Kipara has to be the cheapest hairstyle out there. Everybody will be happy. You will save money and you will experience how men get to have great relationships with their barbers.
Also Ladies, DON’T CHEAT ON YOUR KIPARA BARBERS. Alternatively, nacet ni 5 bob.

6. Claim that you are working late if its raining in the evening. You should be able to survive. If it rains overnight, lala kwa ofisi. Your handbag has an extra pair of clothes, soap and all that you need. Uko sawa tu!

7. Buy a hat. Hats are effective and cheap. Yes, you can wear a hat with a skirt suit. Who said it’s illegal? Nunua that baseball cap and protect that hair.

8. If all else fails, use that pizza box for terrific Tuesday from Tuesdays past. Kama kimeumana, kimeumana.
 

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