Mama Mzee Mzima 2.0, Haki Umenitenda....................

General
1

The Mkamba Singo Matha (MSim).

Our son, Mzee Mzima 2.0, is now 4 years.

Last year she told me, “FMCP, mbeibe, kama unaniwestia taiim aki niambie nijifange. Time weits for no king, na tsatsa aki ni miaka kumi kutuka tuonane pale Isinya. Mimi hata kuwa mbimbi wa kumi sikatai…”

I thought she was joking.

Waah, sasa nimekipata.

Jana usiku nimecheki Whatsapp ameweka picha yake na kijamaa kiyeusi ti ti.

Kupiga simu leo asubuhi amenipiga shock, given that I was with her just two weeks ago.

“Baba MM 2.0 mimi nishaolewa. Hi told you time weits for no king. Lakini mtoto wako unaweza muona eni dei”.

Yaani ile mtelezo nimekuwa nikiskia ni cum ya black ya yule jamaa?

Isokei, isorait.

Lakini nyinyi Wakamba si wazuri…aki ya ngai!

2

We ni mzee mtukutu sana huna adabu. How can you write such explicits when your son is here and will definately read that shit about his mom. Shaaaaaame!!!

3

Guka. Your life is too stressful. Mimi watoto wangu lazima waishi na Mimi ata kama ni wa inje ya ndoa.

4

Guka, she’s right: time weits for no king and ngrafity forgibe no 'ips 'n tits.

5

:D:D:D
soul tie na kijamaa kiyeusi pap!

6

:D:D:D:D
Umekuwa mtu wa sloppy seconds kama @screwplus

7

Ati ngrafity forgive no ips n tits

8

Wise men from the slopes said that if you don’t drive a mubara when you are young you will drive it when you are old with your grandsons.

9

Most women wont admit it but wakifika late twenties wanakuwanga desperate kuolewa. Real desperation. Hata Rubadiri niko sure if she finds a rich guy with slightly above average looks ataingia tu box and ditch the feminist bandwagon. Nobody likes growing old alone.

10

Most men are given this notice when they don’t give a ring.

11

“Wakimwaga tunateleza”

12

:D:D:D:D

13

hapo umeongea but birioneas bibi wa pili hatuoi singo madha

14

Not advisable for a step mom to bring up kid when biological mom is sane and doing fine. Otherwise ukienda kazi mtoto ni ma uppercuts atapata tu.

15

It depends on you actually. What kind of partner did you pick as your spouse at home. She must be a good mother and wife as irreducible minimum.

16

:D:D:DKila mtu the first qualification ya bibi ni asikuwe na mtoto sio wako. Hiyo ni irreducible minimum #1

17

Kumbuka invisible maximum ya mandume fala ni ile mimba 15 ametoa tangu age14.

18

@Mzee Mnyama kuja kidogo,huyu Mzee hana adabu.

19

Hakuna njia ya kujua kama kunguru ametoa ball. She can have kids and still ametoa football team.

20

yaaani @Colombo-Combolo umeamua kukula mali ya guka??