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Map Interpretation and Geospatial Analysis

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Stony

Village Elder
#1
This is an introductory course to the art of interpreting female geography using photography. The skills gained under this unit will help the learner to prepare for and effect HKM missions with high success. For this lesson, we shall use the photograph below (see fig.1) as our main learning aid. The photograph depicts three ordinary samples of the female species in a natural background. No special enhancements have been performed on either the subjects or the photograph. The use of these characters is purely for the purpose of enhancing the grounding of the theoretical model that forms the basis of this discourse.

Fig.1: Photograph depicting three models of the female species labelled 1, 2, and 3.

upload_2016-4-5_12-6-21.jpeg

Source: http://www.kenyatalk.com/index.php?threads/ktalk-mbirrionaireless-akienda-kudai.20913/ferkmeriamata

Type 1

The first type is characterized by an accentuated dashboard and a highly pronounced rear overhang. Every aspect of the body can be described in terms large, extra large, and super extra large. You may liken this type to a 4x4. This model presents a number of challenges to the driver. For a start, the huge dashboard might prevent body-to-body contact, which helps spice up the HKM experience. Further, this model is unsuitable for malnourished drivers like Kijana mrefu (yule jamaa boxer ilianguka ndani ya trouser). Lying on the damsel, skinny drivers can sometimes confuse the human for an island, at which point they might forget their main objective and doze off. The other important caveat for malnourished drivers is that with such a damsel, she dictates the terms as you write them down. Should she pronounce the term “no feast today,” your fate is very much bleak if you had used the last blob of Arimis the previous night. In that case, you have to stroke your aching stick into the wee hours of the night as you pray to the ancestors to prevail upon the damsel to show some human heart.

Next, we explore to the driving experience. Most drivers make the mistake of assuming that this vehicle can handle rough conditions due to its size. Despite its size, this vehicle can present the driver with unpleasant surprises. One, you try to slide in a finger and the damsel screams “Maaaami!!!” at 60 Decibels. Wait until you get to the real business. Introducing the aerodynamic head of the joystick can be a huge struggle. The damsel will keep turning and squirming as if the creator gave you a tusker bottle in place of a joystick. You have to endure this resistance for about an hour, which clearly is not feasible when the last decent meal you had was two days ago. So, such damsels are a no-no for hustlers like Déjà vu, who have to work themselves to lather to afford mandazi surwa. And that is not all, the full show unfolds the moment you unleash the entire joystick into her. If you live in a mabati plot, that is the moment everybody will stop breathing trying to figure out where it is that murder is about to take place. The damsel will be blurting out an exotic composition at the top of her vocals, which will be a haphazard mixture of dead, living, and future languages. At this point, you can imagine yourself walking through the gate the next day with the head bowed down as neighbors peer from the windows. Such damsels are only recommended if you live in a stand alone mansion like Wong or if you have a free standing shack in the middle of nowhere like Kawambui. For those who live in Mathare (like Shingo Upande), you may have to compensate neighbors for damaged property should the damsel stumble and fall into Oduori’s decorated crib through Kamau’s cubicle.

Type 2

Type 2 have bodies that look like wood carvings with minimal use of space and matter. Sometimes you will want to maintain a healthy distance as they walk towards you for fear they might hurt you with their sharp angles. Nikama wheel barrow hivi hivi - it will do useful work but can also stab you. Often, anyone about to drive this vehicle will tend to be very gentle for fear of causing death intentionally. When importing such a vehicle into your house, you will want them to come when the weather is not very clear. Sometimes you will encourage them to put on bulky clothes. You see, you don’t want neighbors to mistake you for a pedophile. Neighbors will never wish you well. Even those who see her face properly will start spreading rumors that you are taking advantage of famine victims.

After suffering all that discomfort and embarrassment, you settle for the main event. Of course, you are feeling cheated for taking so much trouble to import a damsel that you still need to handle with care. My man, you have never been so wrong. For this type, you put in one finger and she tells you to add another one. A few seconds later she begs you to add a third one. At this point, you start exhibiting discomfort because you can see where the graph is heading, considering that the thumb and the small finger do not count as real fingers due to the positioning and size respectively. To avoid the shock of being requested to use your hand, you convince her to take the joystick, which is very inflated by now. Unlike a 4X4, this one takes the whole length without batting an eyelid or even cutting a breath. And you think you are a Jogoo? Wrong. She tells you something like, “kuna mahali hujafika”. You are clearly surprised seeing that there is no space between you.

If you had a good teacher, you know this is the point you are supposed to push your member from behind to gain a few more critical millimeters. If you are lucky, she will tell you “apo apo”, at which point you will posture yourself to begin the assault that you are sure will make it to the top list in your records book. No sooner have you made the first thrust, you discover the damsel has prepared a different script altogether. She is gyrating with fervor, swallowing and spitting your joystick in perfect rhythm. If you are a member of Friend Zone Movement like Gio, the game is stacked against you. You stand better chances of hitting the Sportpesa jackpot than counting up to seven before the damsel goes, “ Kwani Umemwaga !?,” with disappointment written all over her angled face. Before you compile a lie she tells you, “usitoe kwanza,” as she spiritedly slips into 4th gear to catch her cum. As your member is mercilessly smothered in its own spit, you go into silent prayer that you come out intact. At the same time, you swear to resign from team mafisi after this act. After spending a demanding night with the damsel, you call in sick the next morning, and spend the day rehydrating on all manner of I.V. fluids, with each promising to work better than the previous.

Type 3

Finally, we have type 3, which lies somewhere between the 4x4 and the wheelbarrow in virtually all attributes. Let’s call it the X6. The dashboard is average and the rear overhang manageable. Such damsels attract and repulse at the same time. When in the company of a 4x4, you will want to ignore a Type 3. On the other hand, she looks very palatable when in the company of a wheel barrow. Now, I think this is the most intriguing species. First, the creature’s beauty shoots up by a factor of a hundred the moment she discards all manmade apparels from her body. If you suffer from premature ejaculation like Guka, then your book is closed even before you open it. If you are new to female geography like old monk, you can only go as far as dipping a half of your fore finger before the signals cross and the joystick spurts. For those used to riding wheelbarrows, a feel of the succulent thighs is enough to confuse your brain to order the scum bag to empty its contents. Clearly, this type can be very tricky even for experience operators. The trick, as I learnt from Ice cube, is to do a warm-up lap with the help of Arimis before the damsel arrives. That way, you have some hope of saving face.

The upside of this model is that you can do laps you never dreamed you could manage. You just need to lift the blanket to catch a view of the curvaceous body and the joystick becomes energized instantly. When Uwes boasts of doing seven laps, I hardly dispute because I know it is possible if you bag an X6.

Have a Food Day Ferkers.
 

hakimoto

Elder Statesman
#3
caption ni muhimu kwa picha..Stella Cherop (right) displays her bandaged finger
outside Wesville Plaza in Eldoret Town on April 3,
2016. With her are her roommates Euphy Okello
(left) but we dont say and Miriam Kageha. Cherop claimed she was
injured by their gun-toting landlady as she evicted
them from Miracle Hostel.
 

Ruffneck

Village Elder
#4
This is an introductory course to the art of interpreting female geography using photography. The skills gained under this unit will help the learner to prepare for and effect HKM missions with high success. For this lesson, we shall use the photograph below (see fig.1) as our main learning aid. The photograph depicts three ordinary samples of the female species in a natural background. No special enhancements have been performed on either the subjects or the photograph. The use of these characters is purely for the purpose of enhancing the grounding of the theoretical model that forms the basis of this discourse.

Fig.1: Photograph depicting three models of the female species labelled 1, 2, and 3.

View attachment 36137

Source: http://www.kenyatalk.com/index.php?threads/ktalk-mbirrionaireless-akienda-kudai.20913/ferkmeriamata

Type 1

The first type is characterized by an accentuated dashboard and a highly pronounced rear overhang. Every aspect of the body can be described in terms large, extra large, and super extra large. You may liken this type to a 4x4. This model presents a number of challenges to the driver. For a start, the huge dashboard might prevent body-to-body contact, which helps spice up the HKM experience. Further, this model is unsuitable for malnourished drivers like Kijana mrefu (yule jamaa boxer ilianguka ndani ya trouser). Lying on the damsel, skinny drivers can sometimes confuse the human for an island, at which point they might forget their main objective and doze off. The other important caveat for malnourished drivers is that with such a damsel, she dictates the terms as you write them down. Should she pronounce the term “no feast today,” your fate is very much bleak if you had used the last blob of Arimis the previous night. In that case, you have to stroke your aching stick into the wee hours of the night as you pray to the ancestors to prevail upon the damsel to show some human heart.

Next, we explore to the driving experience. Most drivers make the mistake of assuming that this vehicle can handle rough conditions due to its size. Despite its size, this vehicle can present the driver with unpleasant surprises. One, you try to slide in a finger and the damsel screams “Maaaami!!!” at 60 Decibels. Wait until you get to the real business. Introducing the aerodynamic head of the joystick can be a huge struggle. The damsel will keep turning and squirming as if the creator gave you a tusker bottle in place of a joystick. You have to endure this resistance for about an hour, which clearly is not feasible when the last decent meal you had was two days ago. So, such damsels are a no-no for hustlers like Déjà vu, who have to work themselves to lather to afford mandazi surwa. And that is not all, the full show unfolds the moment you unleash the entire joystick into her. If you live in a mabati plot, that is the moment everybody will stop breathing trying to figure out where it is that murder is about to take place. The damsel will be blurting out an exotic composition at the top of her vocals, which will be a haphazard mixture of dead, living, and future languages. At this point, you can imagine yourself walking through the gate the next day with the head bowed down as neighbors peer from the windows. Such damsels are only recommended if you live in a stand alone mansion like Wong or if you have a free standing shack in the middle of nowhere like Kawambui. For those who live in Mathare (like Shingo Upande), you may have to compensate neighbors for damaged property should the damsel stumble and fall into Oduori’s decorated crib through Kamau’s cubicle.

Type 2

Type 2 have bodies that look like wood carvings with minimal use of space and matter. Sometimes you will want to maintain a healthy distance as they walk towards you for fear they might hurt you with their sharp angles. Nikama wheel barrow hivi hivi - it will do useful work but can also stab you. Often, anyone about to drive this vehicle will tend to be very gentle for fear of causing death intentionally. When importing such a vehicle into your house, you will want them to come when the weather is not very clear. Sometimes you will encourage them to put on bulky clothes. You see, you don’t want neighbors to mistake you for a pedophile. Neighbors will never wish you well. Even those who see her face properly will start spreading rumors that you are taking advantage of famine victims.

After suffering all that discomfort and embarrassment, you settle for the main event. Of course, you are feeling cheated for taking so much trouble to import a damsel that you still need to handle with care. My man, you have never been so wrong. For this type, you put in one finger and she tells you to add another one. A few seconds later she begs you to add a third one. At this point, you start exhibiting discomfort because you can see where the graph is heading, considering that the thumb and the small finger do not count as real fingers due to the positioning and size respectively. To avoid the shock of being requested to use your hand, you convince her to take the joystick, which is very inflated by now. Unlike a 4X4, this one takes the whole length without batting an eyelid or even cutting a breath. And you think you are a Jogoo? Wrong. She tells you something like, “kuna mahali hujafika”. You are clearly surprised seeing that there is no space between you.

If you had a good teacher, you know this is the point you are supposed to push your member from behind to gain a few more critical millimeters. If you are lucky, she will tell you “apo apo”, at which point you will posture yourself to begin the assault that you are sure will make it to the top list in your records book. No sooner have you made the first thrust, you discover the damsel has prepared a different script altogether. She is gyrating with fervor, swallowing and spitting your joystick in perfect rhythm. If you are a member of Friend Zone Movement like Gio, the game is stacked against you. You stand better chances of hitting the Sportpesa jackpot than counting up to seven before the damsel goes, “ Kwani Umemwaga !?,” with disappointment written all over her angled face. Before you compile a lie she tells you, “usitoe kwanza,” as she spiritedly slips into 4th gear to catch her cum. As your member is mercilessly smothered in its own spit, you go into silent prayer that you come out intact. At the same time, you swear to resign from team mafisi after this act. After spending a demanding night with the damsel, you call in sick the next morning, and spend the day rehydrating on all manner of I.V. fluids, with each promising to work better than the previous.

Type 3

Finally, we have type 3, which lies somewhere between the 4x4 and the wheelbarrow in virtually all attributes. Let’s call it the X6. The dashboard is average and the rear overhang manageable. Such damsels attract and repulse at the same time. When in the company of a 4x4, you will want to ignore a Type 3. On the other hand, she looks very palatable when in the company of a wheel barrow. Now, I think this is the most intriguing species. First, the creature’s beauty shoots up by a factor of a hundred the moment she discards all manmade apparels from her body. If you suffer from premature ejaculation like Guka, then your book is closed even before you open it. If you are new to female geography like old monk, you can only go as far as dipping a half of your fore finger before the signals cross and the joystick spurts. For those used to riding wheelbarrows, a feel of the succulent thighs is enough to confuse your brain to order the scum bag to empty its contents. Clearly, this type can be very tricky even for experience operators. The trick, as I learnt from Ice cube, is to do a warm-up lap with the help of Arimis before the damsel arrives. That way, you have some hope of saving face.

The upside of this model is that you can do laps you never dreamed you could manage. You just need to lift the blanket to catch a view of the curvaceous body and the joystick becomes energized instantly. When Uwes boasts of doing seven laps, I hardly dispute because I know it is possible if you bag an X6.

Have a Food Day Ferkers.

Kermit 2.jpg
 

Nattydread

Village Chief
#9
When importing such a vehicle into your house, you will want them to come when the weather is not very clear. Sometimes you will encourage them to put on bulky clothes. You see, you don’t want neighbors to mistake you for a pedophile. Neighbors will never wish you well. Even those who see her face properly will start spreading rumors that you are taking advantage of famine victims.
Wah! This is like sweet medicine after the half-baked, poorly punctuated and shamelessly plagiarized contributions that have plagued kijiji of late.
 
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