marriage advice With shingo upande

I have noticed that a good number of talkers are young and single. I really enjoy some of their listings esp the wash eyes and the annoying “Niko town x,wapi naeza pata lanye?” types.

As an elder I would like to pass down some little marriage/relationship advice to young and young at heart straight males in this forum with high hopes that it will improve your relationship the time you settle down.

1:fuck

Be prepared to fuck proper or else your wife will outsource the services elsewhere. Marriage gives you the moral ,spiritual and legal driving licence to engage in coital activity.a woman once married will nefa ask for sex.uta ona unawekelewa miguu usiku ama anakusongea songea na kitanda ni 6 by 6.

2:insecurity

insecurity wachia cs was interior. Be content by the fact that she’s yours .she can blow 4 men during the day but come evening she will crawl back to her main man.

3:clip her wings if she tempts to fly higher

An empowered woman is every marriages nightmare unless you both pursuing same careers usikubali bibi asome kukushinda.female Indians no matter how educated always shelve their ambitions and join their husband’s hustle.

4:support her

Stand by her at all times even when she’s wrong.support her in public rebuke her in private. Place her 1st among other wemen.watch narcos,there is a scene where mpango wa kando was Escobar alikosea bibi heshima.alionwa war mpaka akahonga Escobar na mkia.

5:slapanol.
Apply a little violence if need be like kidero.a woman should know you are angry.ukinyamaza she will nag and whine till you snap and kill her ,then tukuone kwa TV na tycoon news kule telegram.

6:buy her gifts.
It doesn’t have to be expensive. .ka sandal ya mia ama chain ya 50 dubois road ,Maua na chocolate wachia wazungu.

7:spend time together.
Watch her favourite movie/TV program together. Allow her to parade you around so that her jealous friends waskie ka waru.

8:like(pretend) her food.
Clear the plate na uombe Sosa.

9:like (pretend to)her relatives
:mad::mad:

10:be God like
A man is head of the house. You represent God in that house .tabia za uhuni wachia wahuni.

37 Likes

Hehehehe.
Kuna point zingine zitaleta tashwishi lakini isorait.

9 Likes

An insecure man!!! Go fuck yourself!

6 Likes

refer to point 2

3 Likes

ujumbe mzuri wajifunzi na si kuwa harsh all the time

???

Colombo likes number 4 and 5 respectively, women must know their place, na wakue wapole,
Point 10, CC NappySeal tafadhali

2 Likes

Excellent points, lakini hapa…

SAITAN!!!

6 Likes

Osungu

1 Like

Na hiyo ya kuwa paraded in front of her friends, si utapata unawakamua HKMBLNKN

1 Like

Refer to point 10

1 Like

In other words, kaliwa chapo kimpango…saitan advice!

1 Like

Wah…Some wont be easy…

Points 3,4,5 are mutually exclusive no matter how you dice it.
Following those (3 & 5) will only lead to misery.

1 Like

umesahau number 11. be a man, achana na ufala ya wasungu kupatia dem space nyingi…
acha niendelee kusafisha macho juu bado cjaooa

If you don’t practice point 7,8,9 somebody else will… The results will make your smile turn upside down

5:slapanol.
Apply a little violence if need be like kidero.a woman should know you are angry.ukinyamaza she will nag and whine till you snap and kill her ,then tukuone kwa TV na tycoon news kule telegram…hiii hapana…violence is a no no

4 Likes

Marriage is not a must for me so, I am not worried about that.

Number 1 is key…Was passed down to me from from an elder…Thast why I take njugu for breakfast.

I buy a packet of 200

Si mara cereals na ngumu na mkate …

2 Likes

Hio no 7 italeta kasheshe