Marriage Counselling and Family 'Nusu Mkate' Govt

After discussions with 2 of my friends who are going through a rough patch in their marriages, I believe some element of marriage counselling could be counterproductive to the family institution.

Both of them allege that from their premarital counselling sessions, things have not gone well because the counsellors insisted on a 50-50 power sharing, so when they are not able to agree on something as a couple and they make the decisions(stamp authority), the wives end up feeling like they have been emasculated. Submission is a foreign word in those families(according to the men), both of which are staunch believers.

The guys feel disrespected and dont know where to draw the line between the 50-50 union and the fact that they are head of the family. One of them has already been reported to the pastor for tyranny and as he awaits the appointment, it looks like the wife has the upper hand in the upcoming discussion, because she will quote the nusu mkate things. He was explaining to me that both his paros were earning

The other one has resulted to MWK coz he says thats where he’s made to feel like a man, so the marriage is becoming more of a shell by the day.

Wakubwa, where do we draw the line between being tyrannical and being simply the man and head of the house? Being a cooperative team member and being the team leader?

ile siku waliitikia kulipa mtu awaambie kuna shida in the marriage, shida lazima itatafutwa na ipatikane! na itaendelea as long as wanalipa mtu kutatua hio “shida”

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:D:D:D

Spot on…

Ikifika hapo, just do some things wife ashtukie zishafanyika as long as they are beneficial to the family.

How do you agree to 50-50 power sharing and expect to be the “head”?

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I disagree.
Kama shida iko, iko.
That’s why there is arbitration.
Eg the SCoK

Vile jaro soja amesema. Kama hawawezi tatua shida zao wakiwa wawili hakuna counselor atawatatulia.

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swali muhimu sana hapa ni what power? Opinions, ideas na proposals wanataka 50-50 but contributions and responsibilities wanataka 20-80

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I believe it should be a 50-50 arrangement but the man has the power to overrule and do some shit without consulting the wife.

Mwanamke ni submission! Otherwise kick her to the curb!

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Finally somebody who understands how to handle women.

huyo jamaa ako na ujinga. Alipe wakora usiku wagonge mlango wakithreaten kuingia Ndani ya nyumba ajifiche kwa bafu aambie wife ndoa ni 50 50 agreement aende akamenyane nao

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Nyi mnafikiria maisha ya ndoa ni raha you need to think again.
mabwana ndio hawa hata nunu hawezani