Masaibu ya Ndugu Kuria

I once went to one of these disco matangas for a fallen comrade at Mathare. Midway the kesha and all the crazy games and music kuchangisha chapa, I katiad this cambodian chick akaingiana mbox.

She being from the cheerful givers’ clan and I a lustful ninja, it dint take long before a consensus was reached on copulation. The big hedek was where to hold the grudge match. As a native of the hood she decided to have a home match as opposed to my suggestion for a neutral playground read lodging. Hangenipeleka kwa madhake for obvious reasons and since I was now thinking with my other head, I came up with a plan.

I approached one of my departed comrade’s friend and after a little mantalk he availed his ‘man.cave’. He was still singo so no complication ya keja being sacred juu ya wife. For those of you who know mtaa ya Mathare around airforce area huko ndo matanga ilikuwa. There is this building called Nyalgunga iko na post office next to a ka petro station along Juja road. Ukiteremka chini kwa hio valley kuna shacks kadha ziko karibu na rúi. Huko ndo kule huyo mboyz alinipeleka nikabinjanie. There was no electricity so niliwachiwa koroboi na kiberiti nijipange nayo for light.

By then there was nothing like ktalk threshold so I was only armed with 3 shots to score then nifunge hio chapter nirudi kwa matanga. Midway the second shot, mlango ikabishwa. At first nilidhani ni kwa jirani. Si keja za Mathare zimejengwa vinoma. Mob zimeshikanishwa na kila kitu from carton to mabati to mbao hata kuna wall ya nyuma ilikuwa imekorogewa matope. Kukabishwa tena ndo nikajua ni hapo. Niliogopa wanaweza kurarua hio wall ya carton waingie.

As a general rule, nikikuta vitu I never do it in darkness, light lazima ikue ndo nicheki uso ya dem kama anaskia utamu. Kwanza nilizima hio taa to help niwe invisible, then kuchungulia napata maboy kama tano hivi wamesimama kwa mlango na ule yuko mbele ni mmoja mshort kama talker fulani hapa. I later came to learn he was the girl’s hyena kwa hio mtaa and had got credible info that some biggy was getting some slices from his bread.

At this point I was stranded and mad at the same time. Why could they not just delay for a few minutes atleast niangushe shot ya pili before wafike, but then again with no escape route what next. I had to make a decision and it had to be fast. Nili gauge hao maboy wote nikaona hakuna ule mzito kama mimi hapo. Nikaamua kupita nao, if they overpower me itakuwa ni bahati mbaya but I was not planing to go down that easy. Nikawaambia wagoje kidogo nifungue mlango. Checked one more time to confirm their positioning and map out my escape route.

I opened the door slowly sahio manzi bado yuko kwa bed already aware amepatikana. That was not my main concern at that very moment, I had this other business to take care of. Kabla the first ninja aulize mimi ni nani, nikampiga suprise move ki John Cena mpaka chini and maintained my balance. Before wale wengine wamalize kushanga nini imehappen nilikuwa nimetoka kijiko.

Now the big challenge was how to manouver ndani ya this ghetto maze na sahio maboy wako hot in pursuit with a superior understanding of the territory. Nikakata the first kona nilikutana nayo and the next two, all right turns only kujipata kwa the same door. Kumbe nilikuwa nimezunguka tu pale pale.

Kusonga kidogo nikaona kachuom between two shacks nikaingilia hapo nikatokea kwa ka njia familiar kana matope kuruka. I followed hio njia trying to find my way back to the matanga as I could hear the music from there but kufika huko ikabaki ni noma. When I finally got to the last chuom leading to the matanga nikacheki wale maboy mbele and same time wakanicheki. Mbio ikaanza tena kurudi kule nimetoka.

I crossed kale ka njia tena and into some chuom between the endless shacks na kujipata rúi mahali chang’aa hupikiwa. I found myself having to make yet another difficult decision. Whether to maintain my clean sports shoes and white jeans trao and get beaten by these ruffians or get into the murky Mathare river and cross over to the other side just to save my skin, knowing very well that the boyz hawangeingia kwa hio maji hata na dawa.

I decided to ignore the spirit of usafi and jumped into the water and managed to cross to the other side but not before swallowing a fair share of the dirty water being that swimming na mimi ni kama @uwesmake na @Supu don , hatujawai patana. Kufika ile side ingine kucheki, maboy walibaki wamesimama calling me all kind of unprintable words zile siwes weka hapa juu naogopa equator. Anyways that was least of my problems. With no phones to call I walked all the way to Mathare 4A and crossed over to Huruma side and knocked on a cuzo’s door atleast nipate place ya kufreshen up and change the clothes. Most important, was that I had escaped from a punishment attempt for doing the right thing by some melon headed ruffians. I later came to learn dem alipewa kichapo cha shepart.

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never disappointing…he he he

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@introvert iko kazi hapa

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Hehehe nice as always

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:):slight_smile: very entertaining, nishaona hii mtaa kutoka kwa juja road and was just visualizing trying kujitoa huko, kwanza usiku na maboys in hot pursuit…wah!

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:D:D

I know Mathare hata hapo panapikagwa changaa. hiyo pana daraja flani ya ndechu. mlima ulitoboa na utambi boss? On point hekaya kama kawa.

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My lunch time is made. Kanono you have never disappointed :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

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:D:D noma

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Mr Shairman :D:D:D… unarudi dubz lini nikutumanie gomba ya export?

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Pole kanono. Si kiu itaja kukuua! Hikania! ;):smiley:

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that was quite a hustle.:D:D:D

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Ungekuwa Msa unprintable word ya kwanza ingekuwa ‘kumamako wee bonge’ alafu matusi yaanze. Coz trust hiyo si tusi compared to what will come next

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hapo sawa kush:D:D:D

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Mnet ni tricky usiku…ulijaribu bonge

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hehehe Kanono ungebondwa juu ya pussay, grand escape hio

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:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: …izo ghetto ni noma kuna hekaya niliskia kuna mzae flani alikomboa keja kibich kurudi kutoka waks jioni akashindwa kuspot nyumba yake.

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@kush yule mnono wewe ni mwenyewe…kuna mtu atapoteza jina la hekaya master vile kunaenda

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[QUOTE=" I later came to learn dem alipewa kichapo cha shepart.[/QUOTE]

Una bahati sana, wewe ungepewa kichapo cha mongrel imenyakua mutura kwa @Wakanyama.

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:D:D:D:D

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