Matatu Wonder: Packed Like Sardines

So on Friday, I am travelling from Kapsabet to Nakuru aboard a 14-sitter matatu. At some point between Lessos and the Nakuru-Eldoret highway junction, the vehicle had 4 passengers per seat (rear seats); and 2 passengers at the front with the driver. There were 6 adults standing in different forms and pursuations… and there were 4 children somewhere in there. That’s a total of 29 lives (including the driver’s). Luckily for me, I was one of the two passengers upfront with the driver; and lucky for us all ajali haikufanyika.

Talk of being packed tight like a can of sardines (omena)!

29 lives in a 14 seater is pushing the limits kabisa… I am still trying to FATHOM how you counted the passengers if you were seated at the front?

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At one point they we all mixed up - those going the distance at the front, those going closer at the back, and all. They were all told to alight so that they can be pangwad according to destination. Those going the furthest were packed at the back.

Ndio maana napenda mat ya sendro route. No over loading

Unless one is suffering from tetanus, you can always turn your head and see what’s behind you.

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:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D.

It must have been a very chaotic scene… we kijana kaa hapo mbele na huyo …

Mbisha Nayo!?..

Reminds of a certain Route i used to ply to go to High School alafu they would only allow students after watu wazima wameketi so all the students “wanashika chuma” - save for the loaded ones who could afford to lipia kiti.
Anyway,these wankers had a very perverted way of “pangaring” us. Yaani unapata kama wewe ni msee umeshona (enter @Ka-Buda… ) unaambiwa ati ushike chuma standing at the fromt of the ma3 facing everyone alafu sasa watu wengine wanaanza kupangwa facing you!.. Eish!..
Its all very good kama si majamaa juu when the ma3 starts to move unjipata uki-nyus ma - accidental kisses kutoka kwa jamaa…
But i remember one day niko hiyo position alafu ilikuwa closing day ya Pangani Girls alafu haki ya mungu ma3 ikajazwa mamanze wa Pangoh!..
All facing @Ka-Buda na wote wana nyege so wananidara as the ma3 sways around!.. na moja ako basically in my face i have to get her hair from my face!
Hiyo siku nilifika tao kama nimemwaga kwa trousers mpaka nilikuwa na stain inaonekana.
But i was just too naive and young to understand that i had actually been Sexually molested!
Well…What to do?!..

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Aliambiwa na konda

Wewe ni fisi 200%.

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-bora kaa na dem on your side; mkifika kwa bumps ama kwa potholes let your fingers do the jumping then walking.:D:D
-mat za juja road na thika road ndo watu hujaa. day moja mat imejaa hadi wenye wanaingia wakaanza kusmama na kushika hiyo chuma. A guy came in and stood next to some bae and his crotch around the baes face. Anytime gari ikiwa kwa bumpps ama potholes the guys’c crotch and the baes face zinapatana as if he’s getting a B.J ! hehehh

Its a sad affair and unfortunately its very common place. Even the ‘probox matatus’ are still very much around. The problem is we never change the way we run the traffic police unit. They stand at designated points which are well known by the matatu operators and they are few in between. So they know where to overload and when they get to the police they have the correct number of passengers. I always wonder how can you police traffic when yourself you are stationery. Traffic police must be mobile on motorbikes patrolling the highways with cameras to boot. This is why this country in never changing despite successive governments. We do things the same way moi and kenyatta did but expect new results. Michuki must be turning in his grave.

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I think ako 300%ti hi hi hi hi

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shaking my dear head…you were still virgin talent(pun!)…

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If raia wont stop bribing them then the police may never be effective.
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Hapo umeongea kama Wahenga watatu.
Cattle Rustling inaendeleaje huko kwenyu?..ng`ombe mmezipata ama?

Sad. The public cannot stop bribing them as the problem is systemic with the court and fines process being very cumbersome. As we motorize the traffic dept we need to change laws in the criminal justice to ease and streamline payment of fines while at the same time raising the bar on evidence aduced by traffic police ibn courts to ensure they just dont take people to court on fake charges

I will sue Pangani Girls High School for “Historical Sexual Assault”. I`m not sure if i was Raped but i am sure my Manhood was “Fondled” with by Light Blue Skirt wearing Girls.
I will also be suing for Shame,Humiliation, Damages, Loss of Innocence and Geneeral Humiliation of my Masculinity that i suffered at the “hands” of the Female students.

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watu waache kuwa kondoo…unaingia matatu imejaa halafu mkipata accident unaanza kuskia…ooh matatu ilikuwa na excess, ooh ilikuwa ina overspeed.

One day i shuka-d from one of these small cars that go to estates because the driver was insisting on forcing a big mama into the backseat tukae wanne. Unfortunately the mamas mdomo got the better of her and she retorted- “Kama hawezi bebwa wanne si angekuwa amenunua yake atembeage na starehe”. I simply don’t know where a hot slap came from but it caught her ile style ya “aiyayayaya…”.

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Woiye!..
The Poor “Momo” probably just wanted a Cuddle and to be “Touched” Not a Slap!..

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Hiyo ni kama kusema watu waache kuiba. cant happen

The traffic act itself needs, not an overhaul, but to be written afresh from scratch. Anyone of you gone through it? if you do, you’ll understand why the issue of bribery ain’t going nowhere in a hurry.

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