MGTOW boys in the house, Is this how you live? An Excerpt from Bikozulu

I'm curious boys, is your existence this boring/mundane? Leteni maoni


I went to visit an acquaintance the other day for the first time. He is a 49-year-old senior bachelor. He lives in a small two-bedroom apartment with old parquet floors and large windows. One bedroom is for his shoes — he owns close to 100 pairs of shoes.

He has one plant in the house. It’s one of those dwarf potted trees. He calls it Yoko, after the songwriter. He is a self-employed and multitalented chap who can paint, draw, design, play a piano (he has one in his living room) and also has a great mind for strategy, which pays his rent and supports his lifestyle. I interviewed him by chance nine years ago, for a magazine I used to write for then, and somehow we have stayed in touch.

He rides a big dirt bike on most days and often on Fridays he will be out of town, riding out into some quiet place and setting camp alone. He knows all the cool spots to find silence—places where it’s just you and the trees, rivers, animals of the bush and a fire. He particularly loves the woods. I suspect he can make a fire by rubbing a stick, or hunt a deer with his bare hands.

He never takes anyone on these rides out of town; just himself, his tent, a change of clothes, a makeshift solar-powered jiko, a blanket, some utensils, a small prayer mat, coffee, and some energy bars.

He is tall and skinny with secretive eyes. He has a big beard that I bet hides some rodents. He has a small dark patch on his forehead, from touching the ground when he prays facing Mecca. (He has an app on his phone that shows him the direction of Mecca). He doesn’t drink or smoke cigarettes.

He is weird. Rather, he’s different. When I visited, I found him walking about in his house, bare feet, shirtless and in white cotton shorts. He brewed coffee for himself and tea (for me) and sat on a drum (yes, a drum!) by the window. He gave me my tea, and I asked him if I could interrogate him. He shrugged. Then I asked him why he prefers to be alone.

“There is so much noise around us. We are surrounded by information and by opinions. Life is noise. I take off periodically to escape this madness, this — “he waves around the room — “noise all around me. You truly can’t master your silence if you don’t learn to disassociate yourself from people. Most people think I’m very strange because of this. But these same people who don’t understand my quest for silence don’t understand my words or my world.” I am trying to paraphrase.

He said that he would never marry because he would feel “suffocated” by someone in his space all the time. “I would go mad!” he said. He then proceeded to tell me about his maxim for dating.

He said he realised that his relationships would start suffering at the sixth month mark when the woman “starts to get entitled and attached. They want to fill my space with activities and plans.”

When a woman stays over, she curls on the sofa watching TV as he works on his massive Macbook. This gives him a sense of “anxiety at having someone in proximity.”

I suggested that he might be suffering from something called ‘selfishness’ and he pointed at me and said, “Yes, but it doesn’t have a negative connotation as you put it. People are afraid to put themselves before everything else. I’m not.”

He’s dating now, an air hostess who is in the air half the time and spends the other half is trying to catch up on sleep. “It works perfectly. We have been on for five months now.”

He doesn’t mind if she told him she met a man she wanted to marry. What about children? I asked. “I don’t want children.”

After my visit, I thought about him and how people like him are perceived to be weird when they choose not to be in committed relationships. When they prefer to be alone. And only to have a plant to worry about. It looks like madness from this end of “normality.” And it’s easy to point how unbecoming it is.

After our meeting I thought of an analogy a comedian had used about standing close to the elephant—how you don’t see the other parts of the elephant when you are too close. And so meeting him and hearing him talk about his truth, no matter how unconventional it may be, just showed me how we often have to step away from the elephant and have a bigger perspective. But also to accept that we all want different things. Even if it’s solitude.
Many men try to run away from solitude only to end up making very costly mistakes. Own it like this dude and the world will have nothing on u. No power over u, live life on your own terms. Even if u are gonna marry someday ( which i highly discourage), try living like this at some point in your 20s or 30s. The experience and clearheadedness is on amother level.


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This is a smart, mature, well-adjusted, and self-aware man who understands his nature and lives according to it, just like me. MIGTOs, on the other hand, are immature wankers with zero game who hate women.
MGTOW don't hate women like you put it. It means Men Going Their Own Way. Reading the story I can tell the dude goes his own way. Incels are the ones who hate women. Be informed brother.