In the good old days, I followed the ways of Kidinyi, Uwes et al. in dry frying thick and juicy, yellow yellow momos, sometimes from some dingy locations in CBD. Despite my NV status, I always read about the escapades of the elders as an unregistered k-talker. I was happy and always healthy, got tested regularly, and used PEP.
Then, I decided to turn a new leaf and follow the advice of Georgina Makena, get a faithful mama and settle. I met this lady at Tune Hotel, Westi. Well educated, yellow-yellow, member of a church choir, and a PHD candidate. Went for a few dates, thought nimeangukia. I did what a normal kisii guy would not do, prepared candle lit dinner, put matching decors, etc. After the chic ingiad box, nilimbeba hadi kwa room. Nikamfyeka kufyeka, reached kijiji threshold, took my PEP, sent her on her way.
Three days later, maze I go to msalani and peeing pains like hell. I could not believe this, 10 years of dry frying akina njeri, wairimu, and mama njoki pale SJ and still clean. Then i play mechi with a middle-class slay queen and pap, “kisosh aka Gonococcus” pays a visit. I went to a clinic in some funny part of town, got tested by another msenge practitioner, who darad more than examined my tool. Got a shot and medications and warned not to put my tool inside a snake pit. Luckily, it was just a UTI and not anything serious.
Lessons learnt: you are more likely to get some funny disease from the neighborhood chic than a harlot. PEP prevents HIV and not his nasty brothers akina kisosh, and that kuma ni kuma iwe ya mnati, mshamba, au slay queen, bora ni safi.