Most stupid girl chase

[U][I][B]As reported by one “Ole Weru”

Following a Hekaya Series by talkers on this topic sometime back, Ole Weru decided to lay down his encounter[/B][/I]
[/U]
Normally when I get home in the evening, I usually pass through WaJothefu kibandanski for evening tea and supper. You know the good thing about WaJothefu’s kibanda is that you get all manner of people, from wachambuzi wa gazeti, political analysts, sports analysts and sportpesa experts. So by the time I finish my supper, am usually more informed on current affairs than the president himself. I even know who will win the Kericho and Malindi by-elections based on the analysis. I also leave there with the surest combination of sportpesa bets that is likely to earn me a fortune the following day.

So sometime last week, I passed there for my supper and ate my usual U.M.A (Ugali ‘madondo’ avocado) and finished it with a hot cup of ‘thufu” of knees’ which is said to contain key minerals like photosynthesis and chlorophyll pities my biology teacher.

After that I headed to the house, and at the gate, I found someone who was being moved into the puloti. I wondered who was moving in at mid-month, but decided to mind my business as usual. But when I was just passing them, I realized that the person being moved was a wasp-bodied yellow yellow. Despite being a retired Fisist, I remembered that even if Moi and Kifaki are retired, they once in a while comment on political affairs when things get heated up. So I reminded myself one of the doctrines of Fisiology that states that you should always aim to earn as many points as you can in the first meeting.

I went up and said hi, and welcomed her to the puloti. I realized that she was only speaking in English, so fluently and flawlessly that if I tried talking like her, I would be admitted in hospital for fatally biting my tongue, considering that English is my 4th language. However, I composed a few words and offered to help with the movement of things to her house. We carried the things one by one with the hired guys, and arranged them according to how she wanted. Of coz we got confused by words like ‘place that one adjacent to that’, mara sijui vertically, mara sijui ‘pile that up’ anga what….but we were soon done.

The two other guys were paid and left, but me, being the new neighbor, only asked for a glass to take some water after the job. I then told her my door number in case she needed any further help to settle. She was so grateful. A few minutes after I went back to the house, she came to my door and asked me to go help her fix an extension cable that sijui was not connecting well. Haya, despite my little knowledge in any electronics and electricity, I took my screw driver, pliers and a knife for the job. She asked what was the use of the knife, and I told her something like sijui testing the combination of currents to the connectivity of the extension, something I also don’t know what it meant.

She showed me the extension cable, as she went on arranging other rooms of the house. I opened the extension cable and tightened a few wires here and there, and then connected it to the power. I don’t know what happened or what I touched, but all I saw were five stars surrounding the moon, blinking like disco lights, and Michael Jackson moonwalking in the background-what I mean is that I got an electric shock that I felt from the tip of my hair, through to kababa, and ending at the knees. I was confused for like 2 minutes, before unplugging the extension and telling her that I would bring her mine for the time being, as I checked the faulty one further in my house.

She was so grateful. After I brought her mine, I went direct to sleep, as I could still see MJ in my head; shock sio mchezo. The following morning, I woke up and as usual stretched for about 5mins, as a result of my now hollow mattress that makes me wake up more tired than I slept. Just then, she came and knocked at my door, with a towel tied hapa kwa kifua, and after telling me good morning with a heavenly smile, told me that her hot shower wasn’t working. It may look stupid, but there is a ki-something that moves you when a woman has all the belief in you. So again, I took my tools of work and went to her house.

So after switching on the shower heater and opening the tap, I looked at it as it poured cold water and said a silent prayer. I keep saying that all prayers, including those that a kipii says before fighting with other ipiis, are answered. I say this because after a few minutes of staring at the shower, it produced that kisound of heating the water vuuuuuuu……and just like that, it started heating. Indeed angels exist. I called her and told her it was now ok. She was like “oowww you so nice aki thanks”. She then told me to help myself with some breakfast she had prepared, as she proceeded to the shower. I ate bread, mayai and tea and went back to my house to prepare myself too.

The same day in the evening after work, I was eating mutura when I saw her pass with a whole paper of shopping. Me wanting to be a hero, forgot to even pay the mutura guy as I rushed to help her-she was like “heeey…aki you are always there on time”. She said as I placed the shopping that even had sufurias and that unga of ka-gunia, on my head. I also went giving her many stories of giants, trying to build my CV here and there. She would just smile and say, ‘aki you’…kidogo kidogo ‘aki you’…i was told ‘aki you’ about 8 times before we got to the house.

The following day was a Friday, and we did not see each other because on Fridays, I usually put Wakihara special vodka first before other things. So on Saturday morning, while nursing my hangover, I decided to go for my extension so that I could at least listen to some mugithi. When I knocked at her door, I heard someone preparing something in the kitchen, and I knew I would again benefit from the breakfast. But wait. The person who came to the door was a nigga, tall dark with muscles bulging from the t-shirt he was wearing. He looked friendly as he asked how he may help. I told him I had come for an extension cable which I had helped the girl with, and he was like “hooooo…ata aliniambia nikuje na ingine jana ati yake ni kama ilichapa”…he said as he went for mine.

I almost asked him who he was, but as they say, a clever ngorino does not need to listen to the whole song to know it. He just hears the drums and karing’aring’a and picks the tune.
…So now people, stop asking me why I was so quiet over the weekend. Yani a nigga was preparing breakfast in bed for his mama, who had made me see MJ and only saved for the second time by angels…indeed, Greeks were right when they said “Wakahare akuire agietha ngumo” (Wakahare died while looking for fame).

25 Likes

Yaani hata munju

1 Like

Hehe. Hapo ulitumiwa kama kifagio

Are you in any way related to Muchatha of klost? you are just hilarious:D:D

:confused:aki you!!!

don’t give up…he just took slices…

8 Likes

hahaha

Aki wewe…this story I read even before Uhuru became prezzo, aki wewe…

3 Likes

:eek::D:D

:D:D:D:D:D

the power of the hollow between a woman’s legs

[ATTACH=full]31966[/ATTACH]

1 Like

HEHEHEH BUT AS A TRUE FISI AWEKEE TU BIDII MKONO ITAANGUKA

3 Likes

:D:D:D:D:D

and that is why a true fisi aims for the kill on the first day

I don’t know what happened or what I touched, but all I saw were five stars surrounding the moon, blinking like disco lights, and Michael Jackson moonwalking inthe background-what I mean is that I got an electric shock that I felt from the tip of my hair, through to kababa, and ending at the knees

:D:D:D:D:D:D my sleep gone

Hii hekaya ni kama ile ya Ma thighs :smiley:

hehehee…huyu si yule nyuki wa ktalk:D:D:D:eek::eek:

Hehehehe sasa finally ulilipa mutura? Ama ni adui umeunda mtaa?

hehehe vile ameambiwa mkono itaanguka tu,position yourself to be that mistake that she will regret when they fight with the boyfriend, that is the mkono vile itaanguka even if its for one evening :D:D

1 Like