My Birthday Curse

Back in 2011/12/13/14 nililala ndani forithi station on my birthday a record 4 times every year on the eve of my birthday. Mara ya kwanza 2011 nilikuwa nimelala kwa gate ya police, highly intoxicated na sikuwa na kiatu moja. Karao alikam akaniamsha akanishow “niaje kaka, na si ukuje ndani ulale” mimi na maulevi nikamshukuru nikimshow vile ameniokolea, hivo ndio nilijipata kwa cell for the 2nd time.first time was back in high school (story for another day).
Mara ya mwisho 2014 nikaamua (before my birthday) hakuna vile nashikwa tena. Alafu kuna vile maboyz walikuwa wameanza kunitoka siku ya birthday juu kila time nikirushwa ndani lazima pangekuwa na accomplice na kila mwaka ilikuwa mmboyz different. Nikadecide kurusha ka house party,kuna coomer flani nilikuwa nanyorosha ilikuwa na mula vizuri ikanishow drinks atakuja nazo nisitie shaka. Matwin sisters flani nao wakadai food watapika na lele flani akadai ile threesome mimi hushinda nikimsumbulia atanipee tukiwa na ile coomer sponsor. Kila kitu ikakuwa set. Sisi hao, ma VAT na coke,weed kwa wingi,watu kujiachilia vilivyo,warembo kwa wingi ukigeuka unapatana na haga.ikafika point ule lele amenisugulia nikaona siwezi vumilia. Noma ilikuwa kuna watu walikuwa wameblackout kwa kitanda so hakuna vile tungeenda kwa bed.ilibidii sasa ni kufukuza watu lakini raia haitaki kwenda. Nikadai twende kwa club nibuy mzinga kadhaa, raia ikanifuata hadi kwa club.nikaitisha mzinga mbili na wakachanga ya tatu, nikachapia ile lele na text nikaishow tujitoe kuna vile huyu damme yangu ako na mioto yako sana.vile tumejitoa watatu nacheki nyuma napata mboyz mbili zimenifuata mbio. Nikachia moja anaitwa peter za chupa mbili akajitoa.nick akadai hakuna pahali anaenda,akaanza kuimba ile gospel flani ya “where you go I go”.kumbe fala ameshikanisha hapa naenda kula buffet pekee yangu…vile tulichapa corner ya kwanza tulipata marehemu imetungoja,nyuma makarao washatokelezea hakuna vile tungehepa.tukazindikishwa na ile boot yao ya bata.kiatu unagongwa nayo matako ukienda kukunia ni nduru na vigelegele unapiga.
Vile tumepanda ndani natafuta ile lele naikosa,sijui niaje yeye hakuingizwa.Marehemu kugurumishwa hivi tu damme akaanza kulia akidai ati I don’t know these guys,this is my first time here.yaani hii bitch ikaniruka live.nikabeg ule karao amuachilie tu,mimi na nick kwa cell ni kama home so watuchukuwe. Damme akawachiliwa.
Tumeenda after 1km nick akadai gari isimamishwe akojoe. Karao mmoja alimwekelea kofi ingine wazimu hadi driver akaisikia.akaulizwa kijana unadhani hii ni gari ya mama yako? Lakini nick ni nani…akadai wakikataa atakojoa ndani na mjamaa akaanza kufungua zip.ule karao alimchapa bare akashow driver hapa kuna mwenda wazimu atakojoa kwa gari.gari ikachapwa brake,Nick na karao akachomoka.Nick anakojoa akipimia huyu karao,kidogo kidogo mjamaa akatoka mbio ingine sijawai ona.baadae alikuwa ananishow ati kitu ilikuwa inampee morale ni ule damme yangu aliachiliwa.ati alikuwa anajiona akichapa vitu anaongeza gear…nikiwa pale kwa marehemu nilikuwa tu naona mkojo ikirushwa left to right kama sprinkler.mjamaa ata hakuenda mbali,kitu 100mtrs alichapa chini na header akashindwa kuamka.aliamshwa na kofi ingine ya ule karao akarudi kama anajifunga zip. Kufika kwa police station,sanse wawili wakanigundua “kijana birthday imefika” ndani nikapata maboyz kadhaa wa mtaa ndani na macuzo Wawili. Kule ni wafungwa walikuwa wakiniimbia happy birthday.

[MEDIA=giphy]9VS2JAjPdPLQk[/MEDIA] umenifurahisha

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Umesema marehemu x 3 na hakuna mtu wa kwenu amewahi kukosoa?

So after kuachiliwa ulitembezea hio kitemeo mbili mucakwe?

:D:D:D a good one

Zilikuwa nne mucakwe na ga gatano gimuguthira ido bafuine.

Good hekaya

kwani uko na birthdays nne each year?

:DShld be Mariamu

:D:D

Comprehension kumbe haikuwangi rahisi… @chriskii nikii mani?

When did you join the anti-nyita brigade?

But ulipita na huyo lesbian?

Back in 2011/12/13/14 nililala ndani forithi station on my birthday a record 4 times every year on the eve of my birthday<<<hii ni nini kanyunyui gaka,4times each year?!

Sawa mblo … how ktalk threshold (4×7)?

What does 2011/12/13/14 mean in the context that a birthday is being discussed?
What our hekayarist didn’t do was puntctuate… But that does not mean uanze kusema ati ako na four birthdays in a year!

Lesbian sikutoka nimepita nayo

:D:D:D

Safi hekaya. Hapo tu kwa ‘where u go I go’ ndo nimecheka hadi nikaamsha neughbour