MY CURSED DAY

Amore

Village Elder
#1
This is a special dedication to @Dune who had complained earlier that the forum is on hekaya dry spell…acha niwanyoroshe nyoronyoro na bonge la hekaya hadi mnipe cheo cha kuwa liguru wa kijiji.

Aiya bashi katika sehemu za ma antroduction acha niwarudishe pale nyuma, si nyuuma sana na si karibu sana bali ni hapo katikati. I don’t remember the year nor my age back then, I was a small kid who lived on the current version o ‘bora uhai’. Life ocha was ‘London’ especially during August holidays. These were the harvesting periods sa we used to go back to the farms after the owners harvested their maize then tunaokota zile left overs. Tunazitowanisha from the cobs, dry then sell to ever willing buyers. Those days gorogoro was 15 bob. Sa this particular day I had managed to earn myself a whooping 45 bob. Yaani nilikuwa nanuka pesa. Ata walking style nlibadilisha kidogo. These were the times nlikuwa naenda tu home kukula na kulala. Other times natafta jeshi tunaenda video kuwatch movie za Van Damme ama Bruce Lee.
Sasa hii siku na 45 bob zangu nikaamua kutafta base nipige budget nikingoja cuzo wangu mwenye huwa tunaenda naye video afike na zake tuondoke. Juu nlikuwa sonko, I wouldn’t risk budgeting by the roadside so nikaingia kwa sugar plantation ya grandpa, nikasaka base fitty na nikaanza esabu zangu. Kwanza on the budget was kujitesa. Ninunue boflo ya united, zile tamu na zile biscuits zinakaa tyre za scooter za waindi. We called them vikuu and with only 50 cents napewa kumi. Nikachapa kusquander 5 bob on that. Mkate ya united ni 15 bob. Those were the most important, hizi zingine zitajbudget tu na kubuy vitu ndogondogo kama ovacado, njugu time ya video sweets za kokhoa(the green minth sweets) etc.
Nikaenda shop ya Musa nikanunua vikuu na boflo na kurudi base ndani ya miwa. Nlikuwa nazikula in turns, nakula vikuu kama tano, namega boflo then nabatiza zote na miwa. Katika zile harakati za kujinice nikifunga macho ndo at least utamu ifike kwa kisogo nikaskia ni kama matawi ya miwa inalia but kwa umbali, ni kama mtu anakaribia….Na juu esabu ni ngumu kabla niongeze one plus one nipate jibu nikaskia kwa kichwa Ngong! Wacha iyo utamu ya kisogo ikuwe colonized na uchungu. Before I knew it grandpa amenikamata kama mbuzi inapelekwa kichinjoni. Ameingiza mkono kwa short yangu from the waist amenikatalia siwezi ponyoka. Kisha nikaskia ‘ewe omwana wa nanu! Kamani wewe!!’( @uwesmake please translate) akiniongeza makofi. Mimi uku nimechanganyikiwa ata nguvu ya kupiga nduru hakuna.

Akanivuta hadi mwisho wa plantation akachuna kiboko ya matawi from the fence acha anitengeneze matako proper. Kusema ukweli it was not painful and I don’t understand why aliamulia kiboko ya matawi but apo ndo nlianzia nduru. Akiinua mkono kunipiga napiga nduru, akiinua napiga nduru hadi akaogopa, jirani mmoja wa shamba akashout Nani anaua mtoto na grandpa akaogopa akaniachilia. I switched to gear 8 apo na apo.kufika kwa barabara nikakumbuka nimeacha nusu boflo kwa miwa nikakumbuka jasho yangu nikatiririka chozi. Nikasema iyo siiachi lazima nirudie but cz grandpa bado alikuwa anapiga maroudi singerudi immediately. Nikatafta cuzo tuende video.
Kufika video tukapata ile movie ya Bruce Lee yenye alikatwanga na fork kwa kifua ndo imeekwa. Boy childs tukaingia na kucopy paste macho kwa tv. Time ya kulipa ikafika nikajifrisk na apo ndo nligundua kumbe sikuacha tu boflo kwa miwa, pia nliangusha mbao cz mfukoni nlikuwa tu na 5 bob. Isru bado nitazirudia acha nilipe hii ngovo niwatch tu hii moja then tuponyoke. Those were the days before dj afro discovered his talent so movie ilikuwa ikifika place ya kuongea tunaambia Maruti (the video guy) aforwrd hadi place ya mkono. After movie natoka apo psyked kuchokoza mtu. Nafanya moves mbili zenye nimejifunza nararua hewa mateke najicongratulate na kuendelea. Cuzo pia same. In the video pia tulipata mtoto wa jirani na tukarudi nayeye. Kukaribia home it’s around 3, time bado inafaa tutafte form. Nikaambia jeshi story na loaf yangu kwa miwa na how it went down but nikaomit part ya kuchapwa na kupiga nduru. Nliwaambia tu nlimwona na nikakula kona. Period. Wakakubali kunisindikiza hadi place nlikuwa na to my surprise hakukuwa na mkate. Yaani babu aliiba mkate yangu? Si angeomba tu roho safi? Nliachilia apo laana mbili zenye staki kusema. Nikafuata njia venye alinipeleka akinichapa na nikapata mbao yangu…nikakanyagia.
Mtoi wa jirani akasuggest tuishie kwao. Kutoka tu kwa plantation hivi tukaona babu anakuja mbio kama bachelor ameitiwa vyombo na slayqueen. Kumbe alikuwa amepata report ati tumeenda kuiba miwa tena. Mimi uyooo gear 8 tena. My crew pia kwa mbio hawakuwa wachache …..mtoi wa jirani naye yake ilikuwa inafika gear 10. Tukafika kwao huku tunahema kama msee amebakisha game ya Arsenal akule bet.
This guy’s father was a renown farmer. All types of fruits alikuwa amepanda Kwa shamba yake. Alikuwa anakomboeksha tu. Tukaona ju hayuko tuchune kadhaa tuende tukomboishe at least tupate doo ya kurudi kwa Maruti. Mimi nikapanda mti ya ovacado. Sasa nachuna, natupa chini na kumbaff zinaokota zikitia kwa gunia. Everything went well until from the tree top nikaona the father anakuja na ile pace anakuja nayo si ya kawaida considering pia hutembea na mkongojo ka babu yangu. Mimi nikaingiwa na wasiwasi kama fisi imetumia slayqueen fare. Kufika home ikaita jina ya kijana…kijana kuskia ikaeka gear yake 10. Cuzo yake nashuku ilikuwa 7 juu ata ningekimbia na reverse bado ningempita. Mimi bado niko juu ya mti ya avocado. Nikaona kushuka nitashikwa nikaamua kuita gravity iniokolee kidogo. Nikaruka.

Because nliruka from far, nlishikwa na kizunguzungu nikakosa sense of direction kumbe naenda penye adui yuko. Nikaskia kwa kichwa pwa! Nikazimia. I don’t know how long I had passed out but I woke up chini ya mti ya iyo avocado solo. Nashuku uyo mzee aliona nmezimia akadhani ameniua pia akaswitch gear.
Pia mimi nikaswitch zangu za kawaida nijajipata nimefikia fence na break zimefail nikaamua kuslide na tumbo chini ya wire kama vile players wa Chelsea hufanya wakifunga bao ata ka wameshindwa. Wire ikagwaruza tako ikabaki na kiraka ya kinyasa. Sa iyo short ni ya uniform ya shule. Last time pia miba ilirarua iyo tako ingine nikiwa kwa msitu na bro tukichimba migombera. But iyo madhe alikuwa ameshona but not before I got the beating of a lifetime. I went home na matako inakaa kama tukuk imekufa taa moja.
Kufika home acha madhe ashikwe na wazimu upon seeing my short akaniita nikakataa kuenda. At least ka ni kichapo anichape ka pia amemake effort ya kunifukuza. Akaamurisha bro anifuate. ‘Usipoleta uyo mtoto usikuje apa sapa’…. That was enough threat to motivate my bro to chase me. Lakini anipate wapi….Siezi chapwa fimbo mbili kwa miwa na kwa ovacado alafu nikubali tena kuchapwa. It was around 6 jioni saa iyo nimeamua sirudi home….ata heri niende kwa babu cz niko sure nitapata kama amelewa na amesahau story ya miwa…plus anajua namdai nusu boflo so tuko even.
Sasa mm nko roundi zangu nangoja giza ishike niende at least nipate ka grandma ashapika supper ndo asinitumetume oo niletee sahani ya machweni, ooo enda kwa jirani uniombee chumvi ama osha sufuria ya ugali. Nikakutana na Delila….a very distant cousin, my elder and a bully. There’s a time she bullied me hadi nikaamua enough is enough nikakunja ngumi nikitoa zile kelele za Bruce Lee. Ile vita nilionwa I’m too embarrassed to describe.
Sasa Delila akaanza bully zake akaanza kunisho venye mi si mwanaume, akauliza ka najua punani nikasema sijui but niko willing to learn. Tukaenda nyuma ya building flani apo akatoa panty mm nikaanza kupump huku akiongea kikhoisan. Ivo ndo nlitolewa uvajo. Kidogokidogo nikaskia Chwaa!! Kwa kichwa tena. Nikashangaa kwani badala ya utamu naskia uchungu ya miba kunidungadunga kwa kichwa. Kabla nimeze mate nikaona kumbe mtu amenilinga na branches za lantana. Kupinduka naona ni nyanyangu. Kumbe alikuwa tu within akichuna mboga za sapa akatuona tukifornicate. Kuangalia nyuma Delila was no where to be seen. Gear kama kawa. Nikatoa option ya kulala kwa grandma list. Juu nimechoka kutype let me summarize by saying nlidoze kwa kina cuzo for 3 days hadi ile siku mathe alikam kuniambia anachinja kuku for sapa na amenisamehe. All these happened in one day. My cursed day!!!!!!
 

Dune

Village Elder
#2
This is a special dedication to @Dune who had complained earlier that the forum is on hekaya dry spell…acha niwanyoroshe nyoronyoro na bonge la hekaya hadi mnipe cheo cha kuwa liguru wa kijiji.

Aiya bashi katika sehemu za ma antroduction acha niwarudishe pale nyuma, si nyuuma sana na si karibu sana bali ni hapo katikati. I don’t remember the year nor my age back then, I was a small kid who lived on the current version o ‘bora uhai’. Life ocha was ‘London’ especially during August holidays. These were the harvesting periods sa we used to go back to the farms after the owners harvested their maize then tunaokota zile left overs. Tunazitowanisha from the cobs, dry then sell to ever willing buyers. Those days gorogoro was 15 bob. Sa this particular day I had managed to earn myself a whooping 45 bob. Yaani nilikuwa nanuka pesa. Ata walking style nlibadilisha kidogo. These were the times nlikuwa naenda tu home kukula na kulala. Other times natafta jeshi tunaenda video kuwatch movie za Van Damme ama Bruce Lee.
Sasa hii siku na 45 bob zangu nikaamua kutafta base nipige budget nikingoja cuzo wangu mwenye huwa tunaenda naye video afike na zake tuondoke. Juu nlikuwa sonko, I wouldn’t risk budgeting by the roadside so nikaingia kwa sugar plantation ya grandpa, nikasaka base fitty na nikaanza esabu zangu. Kwanza on the budget was kujitesa. Ninunue boflo ya united, zile tamu na zile biscuits zinakaa tyre za scooter za waindi. We called them vikuu and with only 50 cents napewa kumi. Nikachapa kusquander 5 bob on that. Mkate ya united ni 15 bob. Those were the most important, hizi zingine zitajbudget tu na kubuy vitu ndogondogo kama ovacado, njugu time ya video sweets za kokhoa(the green minth sweets) etc.
Nikaenda shop ya Musa nikanunua vikuu na boflo na kurudi base ndani ya miwa. Nlikuwa nazikula in turns, nakula vikuu kama tano, namega boflo then nabatiza zote na miwa. Katika zile harakati za kujinice nikifunga macho ndo at least utamu ifike kwa kisogo nikaskia ni kama matawi ya miwa inalia but kwa umbali, ni kama mtu anakaribia….Na juu esabu ni ngumu kabla niongeze one plus one nipate jibu nikaskia kwa kichwa Ngong! Wacha iyo utamu ya kisogo ikuwe colonized na uchungu. Before I knew it grandpa amenikamata kama mbuzi inapelekwa kichinjoni. Ameingiza mkono kwa short yangu from the waist amenikatalia siwezi ponyoka. Kisha nikaskia ‘ewe omwana wa nanu! Kamani wewe!!’( @uwesmake please translate) akiniongeza makofi. Mimi uku nimechanganyikiwa ata nguvu ya kupiga nduru hakuna.

Akanivuta hadi mwisho wa plantation akachuna kiboko ya matawi from the fence acha anitengeneze matako proper. Kusema ukweli it was not painful and I don’t understand why aliamulia kiboko ya matawi but apo ndo nlianzia nduru. Akiinua mkono kunipiga napiga nduru, akiinua napiga nduru hadi akaogopa, jirani mmoja wa shamba akashout Nani anaua mtoto na grandpa akaogopa akaniachilia. I switched to gear 8 apo na apo.kufika kwa barabara nikakumbuka nimeacha nusu boflo kwa miwa nikakumbuka jasho yangu nikatiririka chozi. Nikasema iyo siiachi lazima nirudie but cz grandpa bado alikuwa anapiga maroudi singerudi immediately. Nikatafta cuzo tuende video.
Kufika video tukapata ile movie ya Bruce Lee yenye alikatwanga na fork kwa kifua ndo imeekwa. Boy childs tukaingia na kucopy paste macho kwa tv. Time ya kulipa ikafika nikajifrisk na apo ndo nligundua kumbe sikuacha tu boflo kwa miwa, pia nliangusha mbao cz mfukoni nlikuwa tu na 5 bob. Isru bado nitazirudia acha nilipe hii ngovo niwatch tu hii moja then tuponyoke. Those were the days before dj afro discovered his talent so movie ilikuwa ikifika place ya kuongea tunaambia Maruti (the video guy) aforwrd hadi place ya mkono. After movie natoka apo psyked kuchokoza mtu. Nafanya moves mbili zenye nimejifunza nararua hewa mateke najicongratulate na kuendelea. Cuzo pia same. In the video pia tulipata mtoto wa jirani na tukarudi nayeye. Kukaribia home it’s around 3, time bado inafaa tutafte form. Nikaambia jeshi story na loaf yangu kwa miwa na how it went down but nikaomit part ya kuchapwa na kupiga nduru. Nliwaambia tu nlimwona na nikakula kona. Period. Wakakubali kunisindikiza hadi place nlikuwa na to my surprise hakukuwa na mkate. Yaani babu aliiba mkate yangu? Si angeomba tu roho safi? Nliachilia apo laana mbili zenye staki kusema. Nikafuata njia venye alinipeleka akinichapa na nikapata mbao yangu…nikakanyagia.
Mtoi wa jirani akasuggest tuishie kwao. Kutoka tu kwa plantation hivi tukaona babu anakuja mbio kama bachelor ameitiwa vyombo na slayqueen. Kumbe alikuwa amepata report ati tumeenda kuiba miwa tena. Mimi uyooo gear 8 tena. My crew pia kwa mbio hawakuwa wachache …..mtoi wa jirani naye yake ilikuwa inafika gear 10. Tukafika kwao huku tunahema kama msee amebakisha game ya Arsenal akule bet.
This guy’s father was a renown farmer. All types of fruits alikuwa amepanda Kwa shamba yake. Alikuwa anakomboeksha tu. Tukaona ju hayuko tuchune kadhaa tuende tukomboishe at least tupate doo ya kurudi kwa Maruti. Mimi nikapanda mti ya ovacado. Sasa nachuna, natupa chini na kumbaff zinaokota zikitia kwa gunia. Everything went well until from the tree top nikaona the father anakuja na ile pace anakuja nayo si ya kawaida considering pia hutembea na mkongojo ka babu yangu. Mimi nikaingiwa na wasiwasi kama fisi imetumia slayqueen fare. Kufika home ikaita jina ya kijana…kijana kuskia ikaeka gear yake 10. Cuzo yake nashuku ilikuwa 7 juu ata ningekimbia na reverse bado ningempita. Mimi bado niko juu ya mti ya avocado. Nikaona kushuka nitashikwa nikaamua kuita gravity iniokolee kidogo. Nikaruka.

Because nliruka from far, nlishikwa na kizunguzungu nikakosa sense of direction kumbe naenda penye adui yuko. Nikaskia kwa kichwa pwa! Nikazimia. I don’t know how long I had passed out but I woke up chini ya mti ya iyo avocado solo. Nashuku uyo mzee aliona nmezimia akadhani ameniua pia akaswitch gear.
Pia mimi nikaswitch zangu za kawaida nijajipata nimefikia fence na break zimefail nikaamua kuslide na tumbo chini ya wire kama vile players wa Chelsea hufanya wakifunga bao ata ka wameshindwa. Wire ikagwaruza tako ikabaki na kiraka ya kinyasa. Sa iyo short ni ya uniform ya shule. Last time pia miba ilirarua iyo tako ingine nikiwa kwa msitu na bro tukichimba migombera. But iyo madhe alikuwa ameshona but not before I got the beating of a lifetime. I went home na matako inakaa kama tukuk imekufa taa moja.
Kufika home acha madhe ashikwe na wazimu upon seeing my short akaniita nikakataa kuenda. At least ka ni kichapo anichape ka pia amemake effort ya kunifukuza. Akaamurisha bro anifuate. ‘Usipoleta uyo mtoto usikuje apa sapa’…. That was enough threat to motivate my bro to chase me. Lakini anipate wapi….Siezi chapwa fimbo mbili kwa miwa na kwa ovacado alafu nikubali tena kuchapwa. It was around 6 jioni saa iyo nimeamua sirudi home….ata heri niende kwa babu cz niko sure nitapata kama amelewa na amesahau story ya miwa…plus anajua namdai nusu boflo so tuko even.
Sasa mm nko roundi zangu nangoja giza ishike niende at least nipate ka grandma ashapika supper ndo asinitumetume oo niletee sahani ya machweni, ooo enda kwa jirani uniombee chumvi ama osha sufuria ya ugali. Nikakutana na Delila….a very distant cousin, my elder and a bully. There’s a time she bullied me hadi nikaamua enough is enough nikakunja ngumi nikitoa zile kelele za Bruce Lee. Ile vita nilionwa I’m too embarrassed to describe.
Sasa Delila akaanza bully zake akaanza kunisho venye mi si mwanaume, akauliza ka najua punani nikasema sijui but niko willing to learn. Tukaenda nyuma ya building flani apo akatoa panty mm nikaanza kupump huku akiongea kikhoisan. Ivo ndo nlitolewa uvajo. Kidogokidogo nikaskia Chwaa!! Kwa kichwa tena. Nikashangaa kwani badala ya utamu naskia uchungu ya miba kunidungadunga kwa kichwa. Kabla nimeze mate nikaona kumbe mtu amenilinga na branches za lantana. Kupinduka naona ni nyanyangu. Kumbe alikuwa tu within akichuna mboga za sapa akatuona tukifornicate. Kuangalia nyuma Delila was no where to be seen. Gear kama kawa. Nikatoa option ya kulala kwa grandma list. Juu nimechoka kutype let me summarize by saying nlidoze kwa kina cuzo for 3 days hadi ile siku mathe alikam kuniambia anachinja kuku for sapa na amenisamehe. All these happened in one day. My cursed day!!!!!!
Pewa like kwanza. Acha nisome sasa
 

Senje

Village Elder
#20
This is a special dedication to @Dune who had complained earlier that the forum is on hekaya dry spell…acha niwanyoroshe nyoronyoro na bonge la hekaya hadi mnipe cheo cha kuwa liguru wa kijiji.

Aiya bashi katika sehemu za ma antroduction acha niwarudishe pale nyuma, si nyuuma sana na si karibu sana bali ni hapo katikati. I don’t remember the year nor my age back then, I was a small kid who lived on the current version o ‘bora uhai’. Life ocha was ‘London’ especially during August holidays. These were the harvesting periods sa we used to go back to the farms after the owners harvested their maize then tunaokota zile left overs. Tunazitowanisha from the cobs, dry then sell to ever willing buyers. Those days gorogoro was 15 bob. Sa this particular day I had managed to earn myself a whooping 45 bob. Yaani nilikuwa nanuka pesa. Ata walking style nlibadilisha kidogo. These were the times nlikuwa naenda tu home kukula na kulala. Other times natafta jeshi tunaenda video kuwatch movie za Van Damme ama Bruce Lee.
Sasa hii siku na 45 bob zangu nikaamua kutafta base nipige budget nikingoja cuzo wangu mwenye huwa tunaenda naye video afike na zake tuondoke. Juu nlikuwa sonko, I wouldn’t risk budgeting by the roadside so nikaingia kwa sugar plantation ya grandpa, nikasaka base fitty na nikaanza esabu zangu. Kwanza on the budget was kujitesa. Ninunue boflo ya united, zile tamu na zile biscuits zinakaa tyre za scooter za waindi. We called them vikuu and with only 50 cents napewa kumi. Nikachapa kusquander 5 bob on that. Mkate ya united ni 15 bob. Those were the most important, hizi zingine zitajbudget tu na kubuy vitu ndogondogo kama ovacado, njugu time ya video sweets za kokhoa(the green minth sweets) etc.
Nikaenda shop ya Musa nikanunua vikuu na boflo na kurudi base ndani ya miwa. Nlikuwa nazikula in turns, nakula vikuu kama tano, namega boflo then nabatiza zote na miwa. Katika zile harakati za kujinice nikifunga macho ndo at least utamu ifike kwa kisogo nikaskia ni kama matawi ya miwa inalia but kwa umbali, ni kama mtu anakaribia….Na juu esabu ni ngumu kabla niongeze one plus one nipate jibu nikaskia kwa kichwa Ngong! Wacha iyo utamu ya kisogo ikuwe colonized na uchungu. Before I knew it grandpa amenikamata kama mbuzi inapelekwa kichinjoni. Ameingiza mkono kwa short yangu from the waist amenikatalia siwezi ponyoka. Kisha nikaskia ‘ewe omwana wa nanu! Kamani wewe!!’( @uwesmake please translate) akiniongeza makofi. Mimi uku nimechanganyikiwa ata nguvu ya kupiga nduru hakuna.

Akanivuta hadi mwisho wa plantation akachuna kiboko ya matawi from the fence acha anitengeneze matako proper. Kusema ukweli it was not painful and I don’t understand why aliamulia kiboko ya matawi but apo ndo nlianzia nduru. Akiinua mkono kunipiga napiga nduru, akiinua napiga nduru hadi akaogopa, jirani mmoja wa shamba akashout Nani anaua mtoto na grandpa akaogopa akaniachilia. I switched to gear 8 apo na apo.kufika kwa barabara nikakumbuka nimeacha nusu boflo kwa miwa nikakumbuka jasho yangu nikatiririka chozi. Nikasema iyo siiachi lazima nirudie but cz grandpa bado alikuwa anapiga maroudi singerudi immediately. Nikatafta cuzo tuende video.
Kufika video tukapata ile movie ya Bruce Lee yenye alikatwanga na fork kwa kifua ndo imeekwa. Boy childs tukaingia na kucopy paste macho kwa tv. Time ya kulipa ikafika nikajifrisk na apo ndo nligundua kumbe sikuacha tu boflo kwa miwa, pia nliangusha mbao cz mfukoni nlikuwa tu na 5 bob. Isru bado nitazirudia acha nilipe hii ngovo niwatch tu hii moja then tuponyoke. Those were the days before dj afro discovered his talent so movie ilikuwa ikifika place ya kuongea tunaambia Maruti (the video guy) aforwrd hadi place ya mkono. After movie natoka apo psyked kuchokoza mtu. Nafanya moves mbili zenye nimejifunza nararua hewa mateke najicongratulate na kuendelea. Cuzo pia same. In the video pia tulipata mtoto wa jirani na tukarudi nayeye. Kukaribia home it’s around 3, time bado inafaa tutafte form. Nikaambia jeshi story na loaf yangu kwa miwa na how it went down but nikaomit part ya kuchapwa na kupiga nduru. Nliwaambia tu nlimwona na nikakula kona. Period. Wakakubali kunisindikiza hadi place nlikuwa na to my surprise hakukuwa na mkate. Yaani babu aliiba mkate yangu? Si angeomba tu roho safi? Nliachilia apo laana mbili zenye staki kusema. Nikafuata njia venye alinipeleka akinichapa na nikapata mbao yangu…nikakanyagia.
Mtoi wa jirani akasuggest tuishie kwao. Kutoka tu kwa plantation hivi tukaona babu anakuja mbio kama bachelor ameitiwa vyombo na slayqueen. Kumbe alikuwa amepata report ati tumeenda kuiba miwa tena. Mimi uyooo gear 8 tena. My crew pia kwa mbio hawakuwa wachache …..mtoi wa jirani naye yake ilikuwa inafika gear 10. Tukafika kwao huku tunahema kama msee amebakisha game ya Arsenal akule bet.
This guy’s father was a renown farmer. All types of fruits alikuwa amepanda Kwa shamba yake. Alikuwa anakomboeksha tu. Tukaona ju hayuko tuchune kadhaa tuende tukomboishe at least tupate doo ya kurudi kwa Maruti. Mimi nikapanda mti ya ovacado. Sasa nachuna, natupa chini na kumbaff zinaokota zikitia kwa gunia. Everything went well until from the tree top nikaona the father anakuja na ile pace anakuja nayo si ya kawaida considering pia hutembea na mkongojo ka babu yangu. Mimi nikaingiwa na wasiwasi kama fisi imetumia slayqueen fare. Kufika home ikaita jina ya kijana…kijana kuskia ikaeka gear yake 10. Cuzo yake nashuku ilikuwa 7 juu ata ningekimbia na reverse bado ningempita. Mimi bado niko juu ya mti ya avocado. Nikaona kushuka nitashikwa nikaamua kuita gravity iniokolee kidogo. Nikaruka.

Because nliruka from far, nlishikwa na kizunguzungu nikakosa sense of direction kumbe naenda penye adui yuko. Nikaskia kwa kichwa pwa! Nikazimia. I don’t know how long I had passed out but I woke up chini ya mti ya iyo avocado solo. Nashuku uyo mzee aliona nmezimia akadhani ameniua pia akaswitch gear.
Pia mimi nikaswitch zangu za kawaida nijajipata nimefikia fence na break zimefail nikaamua kuslide na tumbo chini ya wire kama vile players wa Chelsea hufanya wakifunga bao ata ka wameshindwa. Wire ikagwaruza tako ikabaki na kiraka ya kinyasa. Sa iyo short ni ya uniform ya shule. Last time pia miba ilirarua iyo tako ingine nikiwa kwa msitu na bro tukichimba migombera. But iyo madhe alikuwa ameshona but not before I got the beating of a lifetime. I went home na matako inakaa kama tukuk imekufa taa moja.
Kufika home acha madhe ashikwe na wazimu upon seeing my short akaniita nikakataa kuenda. At least ka ni kichapo anichape ka pia amemake effort ya kunifukuza. Akaamurisha bro anifuate. ‘Usipoleta uyo mtoto usikuje apa sapa’…. That was enough threat to motivate my bro to chase me. Lakini anipate wapi….Siezi chapwa fimbo mbili kwa miwa na kwa ovacado alafu nikubali tena kuchapwa. It was around 6 jioni saa iyo nimeamua sirudi home….ata heri niende kwa babu cz niko sure nitapata kama amelewa na amesahau story ya miwa…plus anajua namdai nusu boflo so tuko even.
Sasa mm nko roundi zangu nangoja giza ishike niende at least nipate ka grandma ashapika supper ndo asinitumetume oo niletee sahani ya machweni, ooo enda kwa jirani uniombee chumvi ama osha sufuria ya ugali. Nikakutana na Delila….a very distant cousin, my elder and a bully. There’s a time she bullied me hadi nikaamua enough is enough nikakunja ngumi nikitoa zile kelele za Bruce Lee. Ile vita nilionwa I’m too embarrassed to describe.
Sasa Delila akaanza bully zake akaanza kunisho venye mi si mwanaume, akauliza ka najua punani nikasema sijui but niko willing to learn. Tukaenda nyuma ya building flani apo akatoa panty mm nikaanza kupump huku akiongea kikhoisan. Ivo ndo nlitolewa uvajo. Kidogokidogo nikaskia Chwaa!! Kwa kichwa tena. Nikashangaa kwani badala ya utamu naskia uchungu ya miba kunidungadunga kwa kichwa. Kabla nimeze mate nikaona kumbe mtu amenilinga na branches za lantana. Kupinduka naona ni nyanyangu. Kumbe alikuwa tu within akichuna mboga za sapa akatuona tukifornicate. Kuangalia nyuma Delila was no where to be seen. Gear kama kawa. Nikatoa option ya kulala kwa grandma list. Juu nimechoka kutype let me summarize by saying nlidoze kwa kina cuzo for 3 days hadi ile siku mathe alikam kuniambia anachinja kuku for sapa na amenisamehe. All these happened in one day. My cursed day!!!!!!
happy sawa mblo...u made me laugh out aloud like a mad man I can relate to all u said...kwa hayo safisha wazee mecho.....
 

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