• Sorry for the inconvenience caused by the downtime. We were doing maintenance which we have completed. Thank you!!

My Girlfriend Is Extremely Stingy. Should I Be Worried?

upepo

Village Elder
#21
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause a problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advise your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry
In her defense, wengi wetu upuzi ya gifts tumegundua in adulthood.So that aspect is moot in measuring stinginess. In helping you out when in problems, it could be that she imagines you to be a millionaire since you work in a bank, hence she doesn't imagine that she could be of any help. When the brother tells you she is mean, take it with a bit of salt. Manipulation by family members can make you especially strict toward them. Kama anakaza miguu kwa sasa, it could be something else, maybe her principles or religious upbringing. Ama pengine she sees you as a captive who must be manipulated into marriage.
 

byro

Village Elder
#22
Work for your wife and expect little from them, plus consider her background. She might have been brought up in a very poor environment. Tell her how you feel about it, and see how she will respond. Sometimes we are quick to judge and generalizing that we end up loosing gems. Ask yourself for the 2 years you guys have been together and apart from that negative side you realized of-late, what positives got you hooked.

Then study more about love languages to understand yourself and the lady more- a book by gary chapman will help.
 
#24
If you're in a financial constrain and you expect your girlfriend to bail you out, you will be very disappointed.
In fact, this Nairobi you would be very lucky to find a friend who can give you a soft loan of 50k without much of a fuss.
Hivyo ndio kunaendanga. Lakini mimi naeza mtoka.
 
Last edited:

edd K

Village Elder
#25
it seems you are forcing her to be in a relationship with you na bado she has not yet stopped whoring around...thats why she is giving you bright red flags lakini wewe huoni....those 2 years unaseme you have really invested in the relationship zisifanye uteseke milele due to poor life choices...STOP FORCING HER TO LOVE YOU....AND GROW A FUCKING SPINE...!!!!
 
#26
two years now. .. members of the same church
I work as a bank teller ...... she works in Shoprite.
I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.
too much for anonymity?
 

Bobaa

Village Elder
#27
Mimi mama alikuwa ananinunulia boxers, t-shirts, snap backs, socks, jeans trao. Yani mimi nilkuwa nashtuka tu nimeletewa Mali kwa keja. Kuna day nimejifanya Sina pesa like 2 weeks mama alikuwa anamake sure nakula fiti, ananipea ferare ya job daily. Hakuwa anajuwa ni test namfanyia na alipass 100%. Nililearn ako fine and she's not stingy nikamwekelea mimba ingine ajab teketeke mtoto kijana. Sai nimekafunga kwa pigsty na Sina worry. Infact Naiwekelea mimba ingine Tena ajab hii mwaka.
 

Fisi

Village Elder
#28
There's this lady I've been dating for two years now. We happen to be members of the same church and I ought to have taken the relationship to the next level by getting my parents to her place for our introduction last month but I had a rethink and postponed our introduction due to an issue that might cause a problem in the future

I noticed my girlfriend is the stingy type. When I mean stingy, it's on the high side. Assuming she's just averagely stingy I wouldn't really be bothered but this is gross.

I work as a bank teller (contract staff) and my salary isn't really much while she works in Shoprite. Even from the little I earn, I'm always sensitive to her needs and I tip her whether she's stranded or not since I love her but how can I explain being with a lady for two solid years and I've never for once received any gift no matter how little it is? Not even something as little as toothbrush or hair cream

Initially, I didn't see this as a big deal probably because I grew up with the mentality that it's a taboo for a man to expect gifts or little support from his girlfriend when he's in dire need
but I've now grown to realize that "give and take" is one of the key elements of a good relationship

Even if I get stranded or go into debt, my girlfriend acts nonchalant and she'll be the
last person that will ever render a little financial assistance to help my situation. You might say I should sit her down and discuss it. Yes I've already done that and I made her understand that I actually postponed our introduction for no other reason but because I'm still indecisive if I want to spend the rest of my life with a selfish woman but her response shows she takes pride in being stingy

I even used logic to whine her younger brother recently just to be sure if she's stingy to me alone but the boy confirmed it that her sister is very stingy. I decided to carry out my findings on her brother because I believe he should know her better.

You might want to talk about sex but my belief is that sex is just a mutual pleasure and does not define what a woman gives to you in a relationship especially a relationship that will lead to the altar

What's getting me worried is that we've come a long way but I don't want to end up with a selfish woman because it's written all over her that she cares so much only about her own well being

Please advise your fellow brother. Do I have a reason to be worried? I've been jumping a lagoon for a woman who can't jump a gutter for me especially when it comes to giving. Should I tolerate this level of stinginess from a woman simply because I'm a man?

P.S: I'm still with her because she has other good traits

Please pardon my typos. I wrote this in a hurry
Wewe umetudanganya...Hii story si umetoa hapa?
https://www.naijaloaded.com.ng/talk...gy-should-i-be-worried-naijaloadite-cries-out
 
#32
Mimi mama alikuwa ananinunulia boxers, t-shirts, snap backs, socks, jeans trao. Yani mimi nilkuwa nashtuka tu nimeletewa Mali kwa keja. Kuna day nimejifanya Sina pesa like 2 weeks mama alikuwa anamake sure nakula fiti, ananipea ferare ya job daily. Hakuwa anajuwa ni test namfanyia na alipass 100%. Nililearn ako fine and she's not stingy nikamwekelea mimba ingine ajab teketeke mtoto kijana. Sai nimekafunga kwa pigsty na Sina worry. Infact Naiwekelea mimba ingine Tena ajab hii mwaka.
:D:D
 

Tarantinoh

Village Sponsor
#35
Although based on the wrong foundation, I know of my cousin wife who is so mean to a point that she doesn't cook when his side of the family comes visiting, he noted that any family meeting at his place was avoided, until he asked and his younger brother, (19 years younger than him) told him the reason why. His solution: married a younger wife, where people visit gladly).
 

WuTang

Village Chief
#36
Although based on the wrong foundation, I know of my cousin wife who is so mean to a point that she doesn't cook when his side of the family comes visiting, he noted that any family meeting at his place was avoided, until he asked and his younger brother, (19 years younger than him) told him the reason why. His solution: married a younger wife, where people visit gladly).
Did he divorce the mean wife?
 
#37
Although based on the wrong foundation, I know of my cousin wife who is so mean to a point that she doesn't cook when his side of the family comes visiting, he noted that any family meeting at his place was avoided, until he asked and his younger brother, (19 years younger than him) told him the reason why. His solution: married a younger wife, where people visit gladly).
Happens with most wives, maybe your cousin's was just extreme. Relatives wa side ya bwana wakikuja mtu ameshinda amefura ni kama wamekuja kumaliza pesa zenu. But she doesn't have a problem hosting her two sisters, brother and a nephew/niece for months.
 

Tarantinoh

Village Sponsor
#39
Did he divorce the mean wife?
Still with her, she laments on how he rarely visits her, I can't pity her, knowing very well, how mean she is.
Happens with most wives, maybe your cousin's was just extreme. Relatives wa side ya bwana wakikuja mtu ameshinda amefura ni kama wamekuja kumaliza pesa zenu. But she doesn't have a problem hosting her two sisters, brother and a nephew/niece for months.
True, I have seen that. Most men have a wedge that drives them away from their families packaged as their wives, while we also have good wives that fit in as if they are siblings to your relatives.
 

Micymas

Village Elder
#40
mbwa hii unalilia pesa ya mwanamke kama mtoto akililia nyonyo. If you can't be the betamale provider you were born to be at least have the decency to crawl away on your lame ass na uwache kujiaibisha ukililia pesa ya mwanamke ati juu unamdinya
 

Top