My marriage iko pale Salgaa talkers

Elders, how do I get my a33 out of a relationship yenye iko na watoto involved?
My sources of revenue dried around May 2018 na sijakua na stable job since then. Sasa tharau all the place. Every small issue balloons. Initially I used to my business but it’s become too much. Her salary is peanuts na my biggest worry is my kids juu she can’t provide fully when I pull the plug and decide it’s just me. I currently do online jobs and use the little to supplement what she earns lakini kunguru bado can’t see my struggles. How did you overcome that ‘fear’ of leaving kids behind knowing well that they’re gonna suffer? Also, she seems to be the kind that might block access to the kidos. Of course it was not love at first sight, we were brought together by the first born and lived a ‘happy’ life but since my business failed things changed.
My mind is made up but having came from a single mother set up myself I never wanted my kidos to go through what I went through so how do you deal with this guys?
Fact is I won’t be able to provide for the kids and support my sorry ass with the current setting once I leave. I’m at crossroads talkers

if she cant take care of the kids alone na issues zilianza juu ya pesa just vumilia stay on , then uki stabilize vile umeona tabia yake mchuje and baki with the kids

My fren, it won’t be easy for you, regardless of the situation afterwards, madharau ikishaanza juu hauna pesa, hata ukipata hiyo pesa you will be compared to wale anaona saa huu

You were brought together by a kid. Hapo hakuna relationship.

Legally ama kimabavu?

Marriage is like that. Full of hardship. Kama ulijua wewe ni mtu wa Roho fupi you should have reconsidered it’s not for the faint hearted. Ukiskia vitu watu wanapitia you will realize that you have no problem bcz being stressed when you have kids to feed and no money is very normal. Even in your mind any small issue looks like a mountain when you are sick or broke. And bcz women are more attached to their kids they are more stressed out when their kids future is uncertain.

Wale wanakuambia wacha Bibi na wanao. They’re still with their own. Watu mature hapa wakukupa advice ni wachache sana. You and your family are really stressed bcz of finances. Other things are just btw.

In life usipokuwa na uvumilivu you will never attain anything substantial. You know what awaits your kids ukienda coz umegrow with no dad. Mungu yuko. The little you have itatosha by God’s grace but ukitoroka ndio Baraka yako pia itatoroka. Be responsible. Usitoroke watoto wako juu ya shida. If street people are staying in the cold with their kids eating from bins sioni kwa nini wewe utoroke. Stop looking for excuses to abandon your children. God is seeing you. Don’t be a coward.

You know very well you are no longer the man of the house. When respect leaves through the door, follow it through the window.

Hehehe

Then how do you explain couples that have finances in order (not necessarily rich)but bibi anaanza madharau. Shida ni hawa wanawake wa sasa. Wanashinda social media and imagine life is a fantasy. Like someone said when a woman loses respect for u hata na maombi utaona siku mrefu. Kids or not tembesha kiatu.

Pewa Tusker mbili very cold kwa bill yangu kiongos.Venye umesema.

99% of all marriages are dependent on the man’s income. No income, no marriage. That is the sad reality. Pole msee.

Spot on. Marriage is veeeeery hard especially when finances are scarce. It was very fine when we were comfortable financially and could see ourselves spending the rest of our lives together but recently it has changed my view of marriage and relationships altogether

Correction. Marriage is very hard if [COLOR=rgb(226, 80, 65)]the man’s finances are scarce. If your woman got a good job during the same period, you would still have this problem, only worse. The happiest marriages are where the man earns significantly more than the woman and the woman has almost zero chance of ever catching up. Women only understand one language - dependence. If a woman does not need you financially, that is the beginning of the end.

Gotcha kiongozi. Naona stress itaniua hapa

But you also admitted she is not earning much…hang in there it is always darkest before dawn. Make your firm decision when you get a better income.
Forgive me for asking this question, are you making an effort to get another job? also pls communicate, do not just assume that things are not working because of your financial situation.

You don’t have to end the marriage. Finances huleta stress in all marriages and even your next wife atakuwa tu hivyo. Work hard na ukiwahi kuwa successful never support any cause that improves her financially because it will be working against the marriage.

Personally, I am of the opinion that as a man, you should aim at making the income difference between you and your wife as big as you can. You can’t change women. But you can understand their nature and avoid making mistakes.

If she wants you to pay for her education. Don’t do it. If she wants you to help her start a business, don’t do it. Akitaka afanye na pesa yake. Doing it will be closing that gap which essentially holds the marriage together - technically shooting yourself in the foot. Lakini, akitaka muende Diani Easter, take her there. If she needs a vitz na una pesa, buy it for her but register it under your name etc etc.

I expect women in this forum to bitch about what I just typed, but that is their nature as women and you can’t change it. Just learn how to handle them.

What is your plan to get back on your feet?

Yes, I’m making an effort to secure one for sometime now but none has been forthcoming. Reason I’m suspecting my current situation kufanya dharau ni how we used to solve issues back then.

I’m taking notes mkubwa. Mistakes I could have done immediately the first fat cheque landed

A study was conducted among the top earning women in Fortune 500 companies. Despite their big bucks, these women still wanted marriage partners who were more financially successful than them, even if they knew that the pool is extremely small. That tells you alot about women. Seeking a financially superior partner is their true nature, even when they are successful in their own right and have very few options to choose from. This partly explains why most financially successful women never get married.
When your woman catches up with you financially, your marriage goes to the dogs soon thereafter with near certainty. This happens when you lose your job or she catches up e.g via a promotion. Women reading this will call me a misogynist, but it is having a full understanding of their true nature.