My mental image of various KTalkers

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I have met a few talkers/former listers. They are all nice people, and incidentally, the image I had of them before meeting them was a true reflection of the said listers/talkers to a larger extent.

For those I haven’t met, here’s what I think of you. Let me know if am close.

@ol monk
This one is definitely a cool guy. Hataki mambo mingi, and most likely he doesn’t drink or smoke except on select occasions like birthdays. Most likely, he works as a store keeper, and has a lot of time on his hands to browse and sleep. Height: 5’6”. Complexion: Brown. Hair style: Short trimmed. He has no sense of fashion, but is always smart. Fitness freak. No known friend. Has one pair of Suit.

This one is a thin tall guy who is hatable at first site. Most likely from Western.Dark. Shaggy at all times. Not married. Early 30s.Drinks anything that can make someone drunk.Ferks any available hole, without regard to HIV status.An IT technician who rides on the colleagues to cover his incompetence. He hates his job and family. Doesn’t do any side hustle after work, though he works very late for the sake of overtime pay.Earns 45K.Most likely a graduate of IT from MKU. Survives on matumbo and mutura.

This is not the typical doctor whom you will expect to find in a suit or white lab coat.He is neat but informal. He operates a private clinic or is a consultant at one of the Doctor’s Plazas in Nbi. Mid to late 30s.Happily married.Too serious with life as if it is permanent.Is fascinated by technology. Drinks wine on special occasions. Hapendi church, but attends for the sake of pleasing his wife. Not likable at first site, but a gem once you know him. Has a limited circle of friends. Height: 5’9”. Well-trimmed beard.Strict with his money.Drives a Peugeot 604.

Mature woman of marriage age, but has refused to get married. Kitu 29 yrs old. Brown, tiny body (laptop), likes fun. Bitchy. Go getter. Likes movies.Limited knowledge of anything outside her career (most likely a sales exec for a small firm). Sleeps a lot (not with men though). Spoilt by parents. Height: 5’4”. Very brown, though not natural.Medium bum bum. Not really cute, but works to maintain a gorgeous appearance. A lot of makeup.Fun to be with.Spontaneous.Cries over trivial matters.Brown teeth.

@Supu don
An aggressive giant of a MILF (6’4” or higher), dark and wears round specs, not coz of eye problems, but to intimidate. Self-made. Passed through any problem a lady can go through. Hates shiet. Has several scars on her face from cat fights. Most likely a business woman. Drinks like two fishes combined. Hard liquor is her stuff. Smokes, including shisha. Has smoked marijuana at some point in her life. Her circles of friends are mostly men. Loves her family (parents, siblings, children), but can’t withstand their shiet, so most likely wamekosana. Has little time for her hair, so does braids jan to Dec. Has a big bust and an even bigger ass. Hatable at first sight. Even more hatable when you know her.Late 30s or early 40s. Can’t imagine parting legs for a man, thus prefers toys. Has no pet. Never had.

@Mundu Mulosi
Typical maragoli (sp) man. Early 40s. Married. Loves his family dearly. Wife and children are upcountry, but he visits every end month. Has a nice job but still lives at kawangware and frequents busaa joints. Has no intention of investing in Nairobi. Owns several plots in Western.A posho mill run by the wife. 5’8”, kakitambi, likes checked coats and stripped trousers. Very boring drinking mate as he sleeps after two beers, eats too much and hardly buys a drink for anyone he deems better off than him. Fears women of class, thus prefers barmaids. Has several children out of wedlock. Is a church elder.

A Meru. Not very bright. Has no interest in life, and just lets it drag him along. Lacks seriousness of purpose. Works with the government, lowly paid. Short and fat. Angry over trivial issues (he will most likely catch feelings over this). Fights his wife for no reason. Not likeable. Feeds his family on Sukuma wiki daily, and omena on pay day. Doesn’t drink but smokes. He is just there. Has several kids whom he doesn’t like. Mid 40s. 5’1” or shorter.Likes associating with other lowlies. Lives in .....kibera. Womanizes any woman who comes his way, but prefers mama njugu.

An arrogant kikuyu man who is ever high on cheap drinks. Has no known profession, but he’s tech savvy. Late 20s. Always broke. Ako tu.Nothing much to write about him. No woman. No hobby. Just chills with the wrong boys. He however checks the jobs pages daily. 5’9”. Shaggy hair.Jeans and a fake blings. Tried rasta after high school but his dad shaved him personally.

A serious kikuyu man. Mid 40s. Happy but mean to self and family. Definitely owns a leather jacket, safari-boots, god papa and jeans trouser for Saturday mugithi. Kitambi. 5’6”.Smokes only while drinking White cap. Talks serious business while with other kikuyus, but does little afterwards. Hopes to find treasure buried in his 40*80 Joska plot. Plans to buy a prado when that happens, but meanwhile he drives a DX. Brokers anything. Can’t recall his third daughter’s first name.Has a chain of businesses, though none is doing particularly well. Loves company of women, but doesn’t borrow. Likable to some extent. Sleeps the whole day Sunday. takes nyama choma for lunch daily.

A gentleman on the face, but harbors dark secrets in the heart. Luo. Lives a sophisticated life- the best his 60K salary can afford him. Has several loans. Only tangible asset is a 2000 NZE. Moves around with classy women. At 5'9", slim, dark suits, he portrays the image of a professional lawyer, but in essence he is a paralegal. Talks too much. 29 yrs old. Broken marriage. 2 kids, both boys whom he likes. Drinks Jameson on Fridays and KC every other day. Lives in Umoja near KStreet ya huko for obvious reasons. very sharp. A good drinking mate. No future plans though. Eats ugali daily. He changes his phone number frequently due to the many scandles hes involved in. Very much respected in his village, and takes maximum advantage of the fact.

To be continued.


:D :D :D Not bad at all, except for the fact that I'm a teetotaler, and I don't run/own a private clinic, my side hustle has totally nothing medical about it. :D :D

Oh, and I met a talker/lister today too. I've also met @Deorro previously and he's nothing like what you envision.


Na ukiandika vibaya juu ya a certain member hii thread yote will have crossed the red line
Wacha threats bana. You know I mean no harm. I am the most disciplined talker, and in my 8 yrs listing experience, i never had any comment deleted, leave alone a listing. never got suspended also. So unless unionee, i dont intend to cross the line.


Village Elder
Na ukiandika vibaya juu ya a certain member hii thread yote will have crossed the red line
Why? If he wrote bad about you, it's about ol monk, not Stephen (for example). I wouldn't feel offended if he portrayed my incognito as a whore as long as my name doesn't appear there.
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