From the Lady behind the keyboard.
I had a ferked up afternoon today and I feel so tired and worn out mentally. I feel like getting away from it all and unfortunately the best place I can find is inside the darn car and listen to my favorite "down in the dumps songs."
When I was a young girl ,My mum would assign me the chore of taking our sheep to pasture during the school holidays. I loathed that job until one day in my pre-teen years I discovered a secluded spot.
It was love at first sight. I could not believe that I had never seen the serenity amidst the craggy landscape or maybe it is because I had grown a bit taller and I was seeing the world in a different light. I climbed up the terrain and found my sitting space. A huge oval shaped black rock...I sat there and I felt that I was on top of the world. Nothing could hurt me there, no one could intrude into my life,I was the world and the world was me.
It was here I could sing my heart out, I could stand on my rock and imagine I was a superstar performing onstage.
It was there I sat and read my first romantic novel subsequently followed by all Stephen King's novels I could find, the place I wrote an ode to a boy who had no idea who William Shakespeare was.
It was the place I tried smoking my first cigg and drunk my first shot of whiskey(stolen from pop's stash) and the place I practiced to become excellent at using curse words.
I could spend the whole day there looking at the fleeting clouds and day dream as the sheep grazed below and on a bad day I could sit there for hours and allow tears to run down my face without fear or shame that my brother and our gang will see I am a just another weak girl...and when I descended from my rock I had put on a mask of casualness in place as I licked my wounds internally.
I realized one thing today...My rock was mine alone, I never took anyone there..It was there I unfortunately learned to fight my own battles and not to ever let anyone discover the true extent of my misery.
I miss my rock, A six story building stands in it's place now .
I am a grown woman now and I have found another rock near my new home but it does not give me the same satisfaction or offer me peace from the turbulence of life.
I miss my rock and I hate it too because it is there I formed the habit of bearing my troubles alone.