Namba of Children to Have............the Sad Case of Mama Ka-baba

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#1
Mama Ka-baba used to be my galfriend back in the day.

She was very very cute and as it usually happens, she thought I didn't fit vegetables and she ditched me for a 'better" prospect. She got a baby - ka-baba - with the jamaa and was promptly dumped. That was 23 years ago.

As often happens, Mama Ka-baba drifted from one relationship to another, using her beauty to live off men, miaka ikasonga.

Ka-baba, like most single kids of single mothers, was spoiled to high heaven. A super brat. Calling him a Mama's Boy would be an understatement. I mean, he could go home drunk while in Uni and wake his mother to warm him food (his mother told me once when we bumped into each othet in town). He didn't wash his clothes. He didn't do a damn thing that a man should, you know, it was like he was the husband to his mother in all ways but sex.

Yesterday, sadly, we buried Ka-baba at a Nyeri village called Gatuyaini.

He died along Langata Road on August 17, drunk as a skunk. The spoilt brat was driving his mother's car, as usual, and had been given some handout that morning. Mama Ka-baba is devastated, its like her life is over, but I can't help thinking she was all to blame. From what she told me the few times we met, Ka-baba was a train wreck waiting to happen - over-drinking, womanising, getting arrested now and then, skipping Uni classes ---and THEN GOING HOME TO BE CALLED Ka-baba by his 'loving' mother!

After the burial, it got us elders talking.

Is it safe for a woman to just have one child, whether married or unmarried? How can we help our women to bring up responsible men, and not these overweight spoilt brats that we see walking on the streets of Nairobi like overfed ducks? Perhaps the government should introduce compulsory paramilitary service for all young people to try and give them backbones? Perhaps introduce a law that after 19 no man should live with his mother (culturally those laws existed).

The jury is still out. What are your thoughts? Know such a family, and is there a way they can be helped?
 
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#11
Mama Ka-baba used to be my galfriend back in the day.

She was very very cute and as it usually happens, she thought I didn't fit vegetables and she ditched me for a 'better" prospect. She got a baby - ka-baba - with the jamaa and was promptly dumped. That was 23 years ago.

As often happens, Mama Ka-baba drifted from one relationship to another, using her beauty to live off men, miaka ikasonga.

Ka-baba, like most single kids of single mothers, was spoiled to high heaven. A super brat. Calling him a Mama's Boy would be an understatement. I mean, he could go home drunk while in Uni and wake his mother to warm him food (his mother told me once when we bumped into each othet in town). He didn't wash his clothes. He didn't do a damn thing that a man should, you know, it was like he was the husband to his mother in all ways but sex.

Yesterday, sadly, we buried Ka-baba at a Nyeri village called Gatuyaini.

He died along Langata Road on August 17, drunk as a skunk. The spoilt brat was driving his mother's car, as usual, and had been given some handout that morning. Mama Ka-baba is devastated, its like her life is over, but I can't help thinking she was all to blame. From what she told me the few times we met, Ka-baba was a train wreck waiting to happen - over-drinking, womanising, getting arrested now and then, skipping Uni classes ---and THEN GOING HOME TO BE CALLED Ka-baba by his 'loving' mother!

After the burial, it got us elders talking.

Is it safe for a woman to just have one child, whether married or unmarried? How can we help our women to bring up responsible men, and not these overweight spoilt brats that we see walking on the streets of Nairobi like overfed ducks? Perhaps the government should introduce compulsory paramilitary service for all young people to try and give them backbones? Perhaps introduce a law that after 19 no man should live with his mother (culturally those laws existed).

The jury is still out. What are your thoughts? Know such a family, and is there a way they can be helped?
The paramilitary thing doesn't do shit for people who are born stupid unfortunately. People are who they are.

What we can do is encourage fathers to take responsibity for their actions.

Which single mother(through abandonment) would willingly get another toi for 'safety' reasons?
 

mabenda4

Village Elder
#12
The jury is still out. What are your thoughts? Know such a family, and is there a way they can be helped?
Thanks for the correct usage of the phrase. Too many times i have heard our local journalists state that "the jury is still out THERE " and it gets me real worked up.

As for kaBaba and her mum, mostly the ladies, single mothers that is, bring up their sons based on her missed or imagined upbringing. Sadly, they succeed in making a girl out of a man. Role models and or father figures should be a must for all young men.
 
#14
How comes you have free time on a Sunday. I thought Museums fill up on the Sabbath?

I think the problem is with the kind of parenting that exist these days. Most people substitute personal care for their kids with money and laxity. I'm sure if you talk to Mama Ka-baba she'll tell you that the kid never lacked for anything. Clearly this kid lacked boundaries and a strong guiding hand.

I have friends who were brought up by single mothers and are some of the most responsible people I associate with. Ka-baba could have had ten siblings, but if he wasn't guided properly he would have ended at the same place.
 

byro

Village Elder
#15
According to your hekaya, don't you see as the fathers kid is to blame. The kid needed father figure to come out right. Someone to tell him what he is expected of. But poor mom having no man to have a shoulder to cry on, turned to her only son, something she was proud of, blinding her other side of being a mum to being a companion.
 
#17
This commonly happens to single mothers, the mum should have introduced some men into her son's life ata kama ni uncles, it probably would have made a difference.
 
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