Back in the day when i was a credit officer at the bank that announced a net profit of 5 billion for the first quarter ended March 31st, I was a peasant. My pockets were nearly empty throughout the year. However, I had lot’s of respect from the society, most of them being women. I don’t know it’s because i was ever smart or because of my God-given handsomeness. Before you start throwing stones and cursing me, let me say I am handsome by Kenyan standards. However, most women loved me for what I was doing to them. Stop your wicked imaginations.
As a credit officer in a leading bank, you get to interact with lots of those small-scale business operators on a daily basis and as such, you are their saviour in lean times. The same way most parents believe that the teachers or school are the reasons for their sons’/daughters’ good performance, most of these traders believed that without loans, their businesses wouldn’t flourish. So, I was respected and loved in equal measure. Still, others hated me for ‘kuwapeleka mbio’ but that’s a story for another day.
In my line of duty, I would be gifted with a paper bag-full (ile ya twendi) of tomatoes, at other times sukari kilo mbili, at others 10 kgs of beans, a shirt, maziwa lita tano, at times cash money pia. Anyway, I can’t deny that these gifts would have a big influence on the speed of obtaining the loan, the amount of money granted, and the way you would be treated during loan repayments. However, women had a special kind of gift. And most of them were too generous. I am one man who does not intentionally wish to take advantage of women. Most of the women however felt that to get their desired loans, and to make the officer a bit leniet during repayment, they had to give slices. Mark you, some of these women were married to successful men and had very good businesses. I remember a particular case where I had this young lady whose husband, a KDF guy who worked in a different town. After amenipea slice ya kwanza, we heard a loud bang on the door. Dem akashtuka, mimi naye nikaruka bed nikajifungia kwa bafu nikijua leo nakula copper ya Hessy. Did someone spy on her? Had her husband returned home and followed her? Alas! To our surprise it was the food man. After a minute of silence and without any response, he shouted out that our meal was ready. Ndio nikarudi back to my senses, that I had ordered some boiled meat na soup ya mkia.
Although that was not my last account of such an offer from a kunguru, both the married and the unmarried, it was one encounter I would never forget. The young girl kept on asking me out every market day coz it was her only opportunity of quenching her thirst given that she lived with her in-laws. But the experience kept on telling me. The moral of this story is that we need to be extra vigilant with our women especially when they deal with credit officers. Other than that, some men “pay loans” ziliisha kitambo for some months without knowing but that’s for another day. I am writing this coz I was not alone in these sexual offers. I used to work with a certain Amerucan who chewed almost all the women he gave loans to. Even my colleague who used to be a choir member would often narrate to me about similar sexapades with businesswomen and leave me in awe. I was the only one who knew that he “chewed more food than what his wife cooked” coz alikuwa anakaa kama mtu hawezi ua mosquito imemnyonya pint. Hiyo tisa, even our branch manager would chew the bigger fish. He even chewed one of our top agents ikabidi bwana amwachie bibi.
Since mimi niliachia @uwesmake na @LIEN hii mambo, in my business loan zote mimi ndio huchukua. Bibi huwa namtumia zake kwa account. Watch out guys!!!