Never advice a woman in love

TrumanCapote

Village Sponsor
#1
As I have been advicing my friends over the years especially married women or women in toxic relationshits not yet married,this is one thing I have had to learn the hard way.


This week 2 ladies, one married and one single have told me that they wished they listened to me and things turned out exactly how I told them. Nowadays I only advice once, if you ignore Bas, I will never say anything to you about the matter and even when you complain I will just ignore.

I used to get frustrated and then I realized being in love is a condition of being in an alternate reality, the way people who are high see hallucinations, you can not convince them that they are hallucinating. They have to go through all the bad experiences for them to be able to compartmentalise feelings and reality. Somebody who is making you feel high as a kite can in reality be incompatible and downright detrimental to you.

It takes time and experience to learn these things. Usually painful experiences like how you fall before you learn how to ride a bike. For me in a very short period of time, I can pick from my intuition and discernment things about a man very quickly.

So please if you advise someone in the throws of infatuation, then they ignore, you relax and wait. Experience is the best teacher. When they return be gracious and comfort them. When they know better they will do better.
 
#2
A woman in love is v dangerous. Mimi nilichoka kupeana advice. Because they know what to do but don't do it. They just repeat the same complaints over and over again. I nearly lost a very close friend last year when I told her ex-hubby was having a v serious affair with a 22 year old in Kenya who he is planning to 'ship'. She cut me off and I wondered why because she has spent the last 7 years embroiled in a war with him about child maintenance. And the reason why I told her is because she was angry at me a few years ...'I knew about an affair here' and never told her. No I did not know of the said affair as I stay out of people's affairs and I rarely mingle with Kenyans. Anyways she shut me out and I happily jogged on kama kawa. No time to sit and whinge. A few months ago she crawled back with a grovelling apology and explanation which did not make any sense to me. I just told her I learnt a lesson and I will never ever tell any woman other than my sistas about such things.

Anyway, I should have known better and kept my mouth shut but I did not know she still has 'hopes' after all the duramma she has gone thru.
 

TrumanCapote

Village Sponsor
#3
A woman in love is v dangerous. Mimi nilichoka kupeana advice. Because they know what to do but don't do it. They just repeat the same complaints over and over again. I nearly lost a very close friend last year when I told her ex-hubby was having a v serious affair with a 22 year old in Kenya who he is planning to 'ship'. She cut me off and I wondered why because she has spent the last 7 years embroiled in a war with him about child maintenance. And the reason why I told her is because she was angry at me a few years ...'I knew about an affair here' and never told her. No I did not know of the said affair as I stay out of people's affairs and I rarely mingle with Kenyans. Anyways she shut me out and I happily jogged on kama kawa. No time to sit and whinge. A few months ago she crawled back with a grovelling apology and explanation which did not make any sense to me. I just told her I learnt a lesson and I will never ever tell any woman other than my sistas about such things.

Anyway, I should have known better and kept my mouth shut but I did not know she still has 'hopes' after all the duramma she has gone thru.
Love makes people do insane stuff forgive her as you would if she was high on drugs. Personally I don't report things bcz I know that when things fall apart I will get caught up with something that is really none of my business anyway.

I have been out on a date and met my friends husband with a MWK. I try to ensure that he doesn't see me then I observe and never mention it ever. Life is interesting when you become an observer.

Your friend was going through a hard time. Telling her would not have changed anything. She would still suffer whether you told her or not. No need to get involved.
 
#4
Love makes people do insane stuff forgive her as you would if she was high on drugs. Personally I don't report things bcz I know that when things fall apart I will get caught up with something that is really none of my business anyway.

I have been out on a date and met my friends husband with a MWK. I try to ensure that he doesn't see me then I observe and never mention it ever. Life is interesting when you become an observer.

Your friend was going through a hard time. Telling her would not have changed anything. She would still suffer whether you told her or not. No need to get involved.
Now, she knows that I changed my dancing boots. I just asked her 'have you ever ever heard me talking about other peoples' marriages?' she said no I told her I cared that is why......she apologised profusely. Like they say in Kyuk, people who have shared a 'duvet'......in any case the infor is legit coz the ex is an in law of mine.
 

TrumanCapote

Village Sponsor
#5
Now, she knows that I changed my dancing boots. I just asked her 'have you ever ever heard me talking about other peoples' marriages?' she said no I told her I cared that is why......she apologised profusely. Like they say in Kyuk, people who have shared a 'duvet'......in any case the infor is legit coz the ex is an in law of mine.
Don't be an informant unless you are getting paid, that is my policy. The info I have on some people. Could get me killed. I am a very non chalant person. I like to mind my own business.
 
#6
Don't be an informant unless you are getting paid, that is my policy. The info I have on some people. Could get me killed. I am a very non chalant person. I like to mind my own business.
It is a very delicate line. We in the married wives club feel offended if a true friend of yours knew about an affair and did not tell you. I know I would coz it has happened to me in the past. She is one of my v good friends and I am a godma to one of her daughters. I bump into these men huko carnival and elsewhere and they know I won't fikisha. But this was different. Besides we are facing a menace here of men having affairs in Kenya behind our backs. They have the money to pay rent/upkeep, zalisha watoto etc. It is a scourge I tell you.

What I did not know is that she still has very strong feelings for him because what she tells me is quite different. And the next woman that comes to ask me Mama so and so you knew all this and never told me? I will say sina time to create enemies. Sasa imagine the Mama friend I told you about...£90,000 pounds (over 13 million in Ksh) in debt. Had someone told her kuna kimwanamke in the pik things would be v different, she would have stopped the cashflow while she investigated. Hii atalipa until she meets her maker else she loses her home here as it is tied up to it. Lynn Ngugi would do a booming business huku na ile ujinga tumebeba. Actually she should come out here apewe stories.

Wamuratha was here last year and what was meant to be 1 or 2 shows became several.
 

Douchebag

Village Elder
#7
"..... They have to go through all the bad experiences for them to be able to compartmentalise feelings and reality........ When they return be gracious and comfort them. When they know better they will do better.
Choices have consequences wacha Mama mboga abaki akiwa Mama mboga! its kharma, Most likely she is in that situation coz of her past mistakes. Na alikanywa hakuskia.
Let nature takes its course. hapana bembeleza Funda kwa mteremuko!
 

Douchebag

Village Elder
#8
....I nearly lost a very close friend last year when I told her ex-hubby was having a v serious affair with a 22 year old in Kenya who he is planning to 'ship'.
Domo kaya ni Domo kaya tu :D
... Besides we are facing a menace here of men having affairs in Kenya behind our backs. They have the money to pay rent/upkeep, zalisha watoto etc. It is a scourge I tell you. .
Its NO scourge when a brother looks for a Fresh low mileage, less opinionated Kienyeji with a peace of mind. :D
...even his ancestors will have no qualms about it. Itaeleweka.
 
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