Never gets old... (hapa ndio Sunday boredom imenifikisha)

  1. UMOJA
    All alcoholics live here, infact
    there are more bars in umoja than shops.

  2. ZIMMERMAN
    All prostitutes strippers and single mothers live here.

  3. MAKONGENI, KALOLENI, JERICHO, MBOTELA, BAHATI, UHURU ETC ETC
    All those utahama lini children live here, as for girls, they have 3 or 4 children and they still live with their parents.

  4. DANDORA, KAYOLE, HURUMA
    Role models here are thugs and conductors, infact here the more you get arrested the bigger your celebrity status. The more cat shoes and silver chains you wear …the more your celebrity status. Hapa disco matanga za wezi ni daily.

  5. KARIOBANGI
    The home of all counterfeits, they are so good at this that
    they even made their own currency… BANGLA Pesa.

  6. EASTLEIGH
    You can buy anything you want here, they are so good they can clone your mother as long as you have cash. People here are totally unhygienic,nyama hushikwa na miguu ikikatwa, Mate yanarusharushwa ovyo ovyo, watu huenda Choo na mkono na maji instead of tissue

  7. KIBERA
    Hooligans, fanatics,clever fools, Idol worship, ujinga, Ushamba any thing negative resides here. Hapa kila mtu anajuwa ‘rights’ zake.

  8. KAWANGWARE
    Home of busaa,and very tight security as all the neighbours are in the security industry - ni masojas

  9. NGARA - Student centre …cheap brothels everywhere.

  10. PIPELINE
    They all work in industrial area, kina @vu-jade na @culture. Mwisho wa nairobi ni Stage ya Cabanas

  11. BURUBURU, KOMAROCK, DONHOLM, LANGATA, SOUTH B, SOUTH C
    Home of pretenders, con artists and fake personalities Hapa kizungu ni mingi na mtu akiingia kwa nyumba anaongea Kiswahili ama mother tongue. But above all, they have money and very well organized houses.

12:KINOO, KANGEMI, KIKUYU KIAMBU
Home of Hen Peckers, women here own almost everything and each homestead has a relative in Boston, majority of men here are either dead, mad, zombies or drunkards. They have super ladies trained to kill their husbands in future once he accumulates wealth to a specific proportion.

Hii udaku rudisha mahali umetoa.

Na wewe @Chloe mtaa yako ndio ipi?

UTAWALA where everyone owns a home

Ok

Utawala wapi my dear. Mimi Niko kincar. Nipe shooters tupige hii baridi na Guinness kubwa baridi.

Teremka ukuje Capital Shopping Mall, tunaweza kunywa kahawa hapa.

Nipe namba kwa inbox. Kahawa si mbaya pia.

Sisi birrioneas wa Runda apana tambua hii umeffi ya punda!

Billionaire don’t go out yelling how much they have.

We don’t give a damn us mbirrioneas!

Wake up from your chlorofomic sleep. Ama ni juu kuna baridi bado uko kwa blanketi.

Wachana na mimi ghasia meffi ya poonder. Enda ununulie lesbian wako kahawa!

Cheza chini anko wacha niombeee slices halafu nikipata nitoke mbiooooooo.

Siku utacover runda niamshe.
Peasant shyte

Case closed. Tunangoja sasa IT manager @RetiredVirgin na @denis young wakuje wanamedrop "buying this " hapa na kule

@Chloe BANGLA PESA sio ya Kariobangi. Ni ya mtaa duni wa Bangladesh kule Mombasa. Huu mtaa ni jirani ya mtaa wa Mikindani

Otherwise mambo vipi?

:D:D:D

Buda mi nakaa Zebra

Hapa lazima Bingwa atokee na one of his thousand handles akutusi.