OF HERBALISTS AND MUKHOBERO..

This is story of shame but because i don’t want any of my friends or enemies to go through this kind of humiliation, i will tell you the story so that to save all niggas out there. Maybe you have seen hawkers sell some roots called “Mukhobero” that is eaten so that when you go to eat person you last long and dont pour fast. That Mukhobero is said to grow deep in Luhya land, somewhere called Shamakhokho…I was in some hole in Kahawa West a few weeknds ago and the debate about how Mukhobero helps errupted. I had ot eaten Mukhobero before and when i heard the niggas claim that it helps in curbing fast pouring i thought it would be a good add on for me to eat when i am going to eat persons.
There was this person of Ruiru whom i had climbed sometime in 2013 but she refused to let me eat another round because i failed to deliver on the first attempt. I had met her during an interview at Brookside, we exchanged numbers and I hunted her for like 4 months with her refusing my approaches but one day she obliged. She visited my crib, those days i was staying in some rural settlement near Membley Estate in Ruiru. I had invited her over the weekend to watch a movie. i borrowed goods but i let myself down big time. I poured in less than 15 strokes. She was so disappointed that a whole man like myself, whom by measure of height and weight looked like the ideal climber would pour so fast. All I could manage was # gallons of sweat. I sweated so much that she almost drowned under me.She would later refuse to pick my calls or reply texts. She blocked me here on facebook and I gave up chasing after a second chance.
So some time back i recieved a call froma new number which i refused to pick. She called again and I picked. I asked who it was and she said "ni Jackie ule wa OJ’'…I refused to believe that two years down the line she still had my number. After that i chased her for a whole week and we arranged to hook up on some weekend. So on some Friday evening i went to drink illegal brew and eat miraa in Kahawa West where the conversation of Mukhobero emerged. I was to visit Jackie the next day so i took a lot of interest in the debate. I bought Mukhobero of 30/- immediately and chewed all of it.
A few minutes later, a Maasai came selling some medicine of tradation. He claimed the medicine cured about 65 diseases and it was made by boiling roots and leaves of plants that only grow in Boni forest. He said that the medicine was perfect treatment for men who pour fast. As a member of the pouring fast society i told the Maasai to sell me 3 cups of the medicine. That thing was very bitter but it was worth the pain if it could help me redeem myself when i visit Jackie the next day.
On that Saturday, I arrived at Jackie’s place around 2PM…the plan was i go pick her up and we go to mugithi of Salim Junior in a pub called Turraco in Juja…She cooked lunch of rice with liver…we ate and she played some movie as we talked. She started a conversation on how i had cut weight and looked good and i should make sure the belly disappears. she said that when the belly grow big it makes the lion to shrink. I told her my lion had actually grown longer because of eating traditional foods. She told me how i was man of nonsense because i pour fast and she told me that she will never let a man of nonsense like me climb her again. I told her many stories about how i was so smitten by her beauty last time that is why i poured fast like hen.I told her she had a very warm and tight cookie that even men of porn would pour fast when they eat such a cookie. I flattered her with sweet words and told her how i had improved over time…i told her if she change her mind and give me a second chance i will climb her until the cookie produces sparks… I beat drums for myself and by the mercies of God, i found myself unstrapping her bra, en-route to the mammary glands…I had sweared that this time round i will make a name for myself. I sucked the mammary glands with prowess untill i herd her scream small small…I summoned my hands to her pelvic area where i employed two fingers to stroke the bean…Having made sure that the foreplay part was well handled, i removed all clothes and loaded the gun with studded ammunition. One Kamau has documented it in his journal that if you climb a person when wearing ammunition you will last longer and his sentiments are echoed by Nester . Although climbing with ammunition is not very sweet, this time round what mattered most was redeeming myself and proving to Jackie that I am not man of nonsense…
With the lion properly loaded and at maximum turgidity, i directed it to attack her cookie at a right angle. I firmly placed her legs on my shoulders ready to fight for my reputation. It was time for Mukhobero and the medicine of Maasai to rise to the occasion. I inserted lion into cookie jar sloooooooooly until i felt her sigh “uuuuuuuggggggghhhh”…I pumped 2 proper strokes which were accompanied by moans and groans of sweetness. BUT as i removed tree so that i can push the 3 major stroke in, i felt my knees freeze, my hair stand and my legs go numb…I collapsed right on top of her…she kicked me away and faced the wall. I fell asleep immediately…I woke up around 630PM to find her fully dressed… she did not even say a word to me. I put on my clothes and asked her if we are still going to Mugithi of Salim…she looked at me badly and said she had other plans…She did not even give me push to stage…I went back to Roysambu a veeeeery dejected man of nonsense…when i see that Maasai again, i will mobilize people we lynch him…

#STOLEN

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awcahe ufala hizo mukombero ni kelele but shot ya kwanza always comes fast angeenda shot ya pili .

Nduthi first before feast

  #stolen :rolleyes:

As someone who grew up growing it at home and sneaking out of primary school to go pick them in kakamega forest, mukhombero should be taken over time and not in isolation for best resukts

:D:D:D:Dmukombero ni upuss.

true. Katt Williams alifunza sisi :D:D:D:D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fL5TPdVDCbU

:D:D:D:D

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Watu wa sphagetti na chips hawawezi toboa beyond round one.Wachia wale wa ugali na murenda,na mokimu na ngwashe.Funda unaenda kushindana na V8 yet wewe ni Vits.

Mukombero is an appetizer and good dietary habits are the reason for threshold things.

@pipita ambia hii watu ya cerelac,coffee na chips na kuku.Kula ugali ya mtama,nduuma,cabbage thafai na malenge.Threshhold itakuwa kawaida.

o_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_O

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