Office Etiquette: Please reserve #2 auditions hadi choo; attention to all not<Rank; Avoid siestas

Ladies and gentlemen Wiki nusu imekwisha. Congrats, you’re past the toughest day. Today I’ve got some very important topics to address, not the least of which, is where to audition and perform #2; those afternoon siestas;(and luhyas , not pointing fingers, but consumption of 1.5 Kg of Ugali chased by 5 gizzards at a lunch sitting lends to serious concentration issues, as do those Nyayo House staff that make child,s play of an entire loaf of boflo and maziwa mala); and those pretending to be professional at work whilst ignoring any and all save for ranks superior to your own and all of us very much understand and embrace this tendency as long as you are the one being asked to do whatever!
Fresh air is something that needs further elaboration, and a long held hunch I had was confirmed today; wadem pia hushuta kazini. I knew it!!OK so I’m at work in the afternoon, and there are 3 females equidistant and nobody else around. While proof reading a report I had just completed for the Quarterly Review Board, something malodorous confronted my nostrils not unlike those sewer treatment plants, and are wreaked of hot ass!! through peripheral vision, as we were taught ages ago in the US Airforce Boot Camp at Lackland, all the ladies seemed to be absorbed with work, and I am 100% certain those whiffs were assaulting all of our nostrils, and I think no one mentioned a thing, and as the saying goes, revelation of those bombs tends to be the prerogative of the very culprit. So I wondered who among these 3; thinking back at the thousands of occasions my eyes go left right left right kabich karat kabich karat, everytime I see them walking that way, but the pollution of that fantasy by mshuto siyo uungwana ladies…I wish ladies knew the stuff that goes through men’s minds on such occasions, and its a hobby MEN WILL NEVER TIRE OF. There is a secret too…sshhhhh the extreme introverts have the strongest fantasies, na huyo anakukula literally na hiyo fantasy, as well as being very prolific in finding all categories of porn. Running their mouths, the extrovert releases part of this tension, and if the man is good game fools you with superficial charm, and scores fast, then leaves even faster. And surprisingly you ladies will constantly fall for the ruses and you busily set off to weed out the best matches, or rather “good matches” for you, and instead pick up mashetani, not quite but let’s say the real mafisi, that leave your heart broken. Anyway that mystery was never solved.
This reminds me of about 2 or 3 ladies I taught a lesson. Ok case in point, si you know when you walk around the supermarket picking up items, its typical, you may greet someone if you make eye contact etc etc. So there are ladies that think, any guy who says hi wants to hit on her, and as such pulls the “Desert Queen Syndrome Card”. What I did to these ladies, and due to order of operations failed to do even more was as follows, OK greet lady, eyes reluctantly move like you are disturbing her, so I happen to be at the end of the aisle with her about 5 feet in, then somebody else gets into the aisle, and before they spot me, I step back, and just as I make the step to get out of sight release a really loud grenade mbrrrrrrhhhhbrrrrrrrr!!!. So the other person who entered the aisle sees that “Desert Queen” and the desert queen can NOT explain herself out, and I am on the next aisle laughing and struggling to maintain balance!!!
The problem of broken hearts can easily be fixed through the use of two measures. First and foremost, 95% men need to start thinking with their BRAINs,vs the southbound shunts that divert oxygenated blood by directing the flow everywhere except up north where needed. For this part, the ladies LOSE the audience for their trivial games they like playing, and the hungry men “pretending” to enjoy, but really know this is a small price to pay for what they truly want to have for dinner. And indeed dinner is served in double shots!
For the second imperative, the onus is on YOU ladies. If there is a lady that disagrees with this proposition raise mkono (I won’t accuse you of shutaing…I’m fair). Ladies, lend your heart to the man that actually puts in very valiant effort to secure your love, and shut out the illusions of grandeur purveyed by the media. Through the use of common sense, if I am capable of turning you in less than 10 minutes, which I can’t, but I have seen men who are extremely good at this game, what do you think are the longevity prospects in light of the PROVEN potency of male libido? That who struggled hard, as you laughed him off etc, but persisted day in and day out; do you think this guy will simply “walk out” or go attend the next “team mafisi” convention to be held in, was it Eritrea or where, where did they have a shortage of husbands or men?? This guy will likely put up a fight to retain you. The level of heart break that confounds many of you are tricks by people who understand your psychologies very well, and play all the cards to fully exploit them. I seriously doubt any lady would too much dispute that outlook.
This reminded me of an occasion, during which I was certain to meet with my maker for lack of breathable air. This was for a flight from Bahrain to Kuwait during the month of Ramadan at about 1500. When you enter a plane that has not been powered up at all, and neither is the APU on, please maintain your bearing, and exercise valve control, to keep things in check, after which you can later use the lavatories to shake those tail feathers. There is no effective ambient air flow. Sasa ukinyamba then, through diffusion, it is effectively a latent form of “Ass- to-Nose Armaggedon”!!! Pay attention to the key words…“Ramadan”, “fasting”, “1500”…in theory this guy hasn’t eaten since about 6AM in the morning. I’m sorry but after a few hours there is simply no “MSHUTO left in YOU”…This guy had to be about 60 let one of those silent whiffs that strike like teargas, and I think I literally choked, and the air was going NOWHERE…hence that Ass to Nose devastation!!! This guy either was not fasting or he might have some auxiliary non-biodegradeable system comprising of rotten eggs! and for 10 minutes that mshuto was firmly entrenched !!
Ok so If the engines area off the APU helps. APU-Auxiliary Power Unit- that miniscule engine, the exhaust of which you might see if you look at the hole right at the rear tip of a plane that is mostly turbine driven but may be a starter motor in smaller planes…to provide electricity for controls, pneumatic pressure e.g. for airflow, and initiation procedures, not unlike the manner an automobile will leverage chemical energy in those batteries, and convert it into electrical energy, and through electromagnetic induction turn an electrical motor(you might have wondered why your Dad used to SCOLD you when you turn on the engine, and linger on the crank position-because a VERY powerful current surges through the system that can cause ugly things like sparking and electrical system failures and thus you get off ignition position back to ON position Immediately it cranks-Now you know). Basically you turn the ignition on to fire up a small switch, and through fancy voodoo by solenoids, electromagnetic induction etc fires up a MUCH larger one to get the puppy going-turn the engine flywheel to build up inertia until the sucked in gas and air provide sufficient power as it converts the reciprocating motion between the TDC and BDC, into rotary motion via the crankshaft, thence to through the transmission system and to the wheels, for sustained operation…(Down Intake valve open fuel and air>Up Valve Closed Compress Mixture>Un upswing right before TDC Fire a Spark downward Explosive power developed>Back up Exhaust Valve open to push out the exhaust valve or maybe older vehicles and some motorcycles may use the Two stroke engine which pretty much combines the compression and power cycles or something…that info is over 2 decades old, I lost touch…and off you go…of course your alternator provides electrical energy when the car is in motion. By converting mechanical motion into an induced current through the interaction with an applied magnetic field.
Last but not least is ignoring any and all save for superiors at work. We are perfect at it. Some dude somewhere further down the chain sends off something, probably even for your own good, and no mind is given, but as soon as this or that boss arrives, the tongue is poised to get into that exhaust valve dead center, and ready charm the crap out of that with firm licking"bossmans booty". Its funny, coz I have seen it happen in multiple countries without fail.
Anyways…its time for me to go and do what you are NOT supposed to do in a plane with the engine and APU OFF…Aaaaaaassssssss(as the luhya does baaasss).

@Dimz Fala = @Fala 12 = @Falafulani

Jaymoh Today its you. Welcome.

You know I have observed a commonality in the last couple of years in the Yahoo Answers, that pervades herein as well; years back people went to yahoo answer to seek answers while respondents rendered their perspective of the topic at hand; today they have been replaced by an entity called the village idiot; As soon as you ask a question in Yahoo answers almost 100% two village idiots will quickly type some nonsense or the likes, they have zero interest in answering any questions, but its sort of the urge voyeurs have of wanting to sniff on female underwear and all manner of bizarre stuff…and that kind of sequential occurrence has a dopple ganger in Kenyatalk. Me I discuss anything that crosses my mind and I absolutely n unperturbed by static…and if you pay enough attention you will realize as much…something similar to this; well for many men still bachelors they have a fairly light laundry regimen…ngotha ya monday flipped the other way tuesday, as the other side “airs” out mpaka Friday ifike…the trousers will be blessed if that month they hit laundry, and God forbid there are no markings, that streak may persist indefinitely…the socks suffer the same fate…but the life is simple and enjoyable…U ssee that kind of thing I say such stuff and then laugh it off and carry on like nothing happened.

Recycling at it’s best.But why? Is it lack of time or effort.

You want me to focus on you now? You and a few other idiots who don’t seem to grasp you can’t strike a dead horse after its pulmonary, and circulatory functions cease. This game will always end the same way. I’m surprised you are too stupid to discern that.

Yeah I guessed I walked right into that one…but no, I do not want you to focus on me but the question…which you may or may not have answered.

There is absolutely nothing I have to focus on or answer to. You seem to miss the point and I state it every day. This is my notepad for drifting thoughts and all manner of things many of you don’t have the gonads to address. But keep taking notes. Get this straight though…and I just had another persistent one who refused to leave the trail on my wall…and I told him he will be worn out, fuck off, and not bother me. In such matters the wounded beast will ceaselessly attempt to even the score cards, Besides, if you go and keep on trying to trail someone to get that ego boost…Tupac once said REVENGE is like the SWEETEST thing NEXT TO GETTING PUSSY and I suspect you might be conversant with the song I am referring to, unless you are simply too young, but my gut tells me you are probably not all that young… or else you are too young…You see sometimes I have a genuine issue which I go and ask about out there…and of course there more jack asses than meaningful assistance…I used to try to strike back but after a while I realized is a waste of my strength; so , for example in places like Yahoo answers, I block the individual and push ahead…much less “baggage to carry”…If you instead flip the mind set and start speaking your mind its very liberating, If somebody stank up the office and you didn’t have an arena to vent off just take it to Kenyatalk…it does magic!..I don’t chase around or trail anybody…You will see me engaged in messy exchanges with people trailing me…but you will never see me go to any of their posts or shit like that, I don’t waste my time in self-defeating crusades…

Kwani ngamia imekugonga kichwa ???