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Old school catfish

Baba Toto

Village Elder
#1
When I was in high school, many years ago, I used to stay at my grannie's in deep shagz for part of the holidays.
There was this village girl who had the hots for me but unfortunately she was ugly (I don't have x-ray vision so I can't see inner beauty). I quickly put her in the friend zone by telling her she is like my sister and could she hook me up with a friend.
After many excuses and a lot of pestering, she had to comply. This was before every kid had a mobile phone (yes children, it is that old). She unleashed a photo of a cute light skinned girl and told me that was her pal and she wanted to hook me up. I must confess I shot a few rounds off behind the granary staring at the photo.
On Saturday, I scrubbed up and we went to meet my Huddah Monroe. We walked, and walked and walked. Finally we arrived at a gate and I was asked to wait. I nervously jingled coins in my pocket that would buy some chips and soda for my princess.
Lahaula bin vuu. My ugly friend's uglier friend emerged from the gate and stood drawing maps on the ground. She had on slippers and socks, her hair was a mess and smelt of Suzanna pomade.
I had been catfished proper !
I didn't even bother making conversation. I just told her I would be in touch. We walked back home without me saying a word to my catfisherwoman.
I kept the photo though. I used it once in a while when the Bajaj engine was too cold to start.
 
#10
When I was in high school, many years ago, I used to stay at my grannie's in deep shagz for part of the holidays.
There was this village girl who had the hots for me but unfortunately she was ugly (I don't have x-ray vision so I can't see inner beauty). I quickly put her in the friend zone by telling her she is like my sister and could she hook me up with a friend.
After many excuses and a lot of pestering, she had to comply. This was before every kid had a mobile phone (yes children, it is that old). She unleashed a photo of a cute light skinned girl and told me that was her pal and she wanted to hook me up. I must confess I shot a few rounds off behind the granary staring at the photo.
On Saturday, I scrubbed up and we went to meet my Huddah Monroe. We walked, and walked and walked. Finally we arrived at a gate and I was asked to wait. I nervously jingled coins in my pocket that would buy some chips and soda for my princess.
Lahaula bin vuu. My ugly friend's uglier friend emerged from the gate and stood drawing maps on the ground. She had on slippers and socks, her hair was a mess and smelt of Suzanna pomade.
I had been catfished proper !
I didn't even bother making conversation. I just told her I would be in touch. We walked back home without me saying a word to my catfisherwoman.
I kept the photo though. I used it once in a while when the Bajaj engine was too cold to start.
Keep it up Baba Toto. Hata hizi slice of life tunaenjoy.
 

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