I am wondering whether something is very wrong with me...
over the past several years I have been having these events that leave me wondering whether alcohol is not for me... or maybe nakufa soon!
I go out to a club..say I am gonna gonna have a seemingly easy evening; light beers etc..then the party gets pumping, music, skimpily dressed slay queens and kungurus out of the blues who seem to be genuinely interested and I have suddenly ordered not one but at least three JDs or Black Labels! (probably the point where I believe that I am trying to impress some chick as someone said here.....
The thing is, my hypothalamus makes me (at least in retrospect) always without fail end up tell me to call call and hang out with some familiar "safe" company of women I have known before and whom I know take always advantage of me (think of it as I am in fight/flight mode)...By the way, they are always somehow ready and available, sijui huwa hawana plots?...
The thing is I wake up the next day quite late, my heart racing and dreading all losses and accidents I have caused, and if it is the days that I used to drive (tx to uber), where I lost the car this time. I never remember what happened beyond a particular point during my indulgences though seemingly i was functional the whole night...
And I wake up feeling my heart racing like I am doing 100m for the next day and a half.... I am too fucked feeling that everybody saw what a fool I made of myself (in fact the only thing stopping me from going out again for a awhile)
And I promise myself I am too old to be going through this shit over n over.. then next three weeks niko pale pale
Now wadau, anyone experienced this kind of sh*t and dawa ya kutibu huu ugonjwa ni nini?? I hear this village has doctors for kila kitu.
And I dare not divulge to the peasants of this village how muchI blow on a night like this...just know it s a combination of all my outlets ya pesa...
over the past several years I have been having these events that leave me wondering whether alcohol is not for me... or maybe nakufa soon!
I go out to a club..say I am gonna gonna have a seemingly easy evening; light beers etc..then the party gets pumping, music, skimpily dressed slay queens and kungurus out of the blues who seem to be genuinely interested and I have suddenly ordered not one but at least three JDs or Black Labels! (probably the point where I believe that I am trying to impress some chick as someone said here.....
The thing is, my hypothalamus makes me (at least in retrospect) always without fail end up tell me to call call and hang out with some familiar "safe" company of women I have known before and whom I know take always advantage of me (think of it as I am in fight/flight mode)...By the way, they are always somehow ready and available, sijui huwa hawana plots?...
The thing is I wake up the next day quite late, my heart racing and dreading all losses and accidents I have caused, and if it is the days that I used to drive (tx to uber), where I lost the car this time. I never remember what happened beyond a particular point during my indulgences though seemingly i was functional the whole night...
And I wake up feeling my heart racing like I am doing 100m for the next day and a half.... I am too fucked feeling that everybody saw what a fool I made of myself (in fact the only thing stopping me from going out again for a awhile)
And I promise myself I am too old to be going through this shit over n over.. then next three weeks niko pale pale
Now wadau, anyone experienced this kind of sh*t and dawa ya kutibu huu ugonjwa ni nini?? I hear this village has doctors for kila kitu.
And I dare not divulge to the peasants of this village how muchI blow on a night like this...just know it s a combination of all my outlets ya pesa...