Kenya tu ndio mahali utapata salamu zisizoeleweka, yaani za kifala. Here is a list
Not only Salams but We Kenyans are an odd lot. Unakutaa msee anaweka 50 bob kwa Mpesa ili akope mia ama msee anavuka barabara badala ya kutumia foot bridge.
Gari zao zinakunywa mafuta
Simu zao Ni mteja
Bibi zao wananyesha
Bets zao zinakojoa .
Kunguru zao hazifugiki
Wanakula pesa…
otherwise!
that’s why hatuezi hama kenya.
Punda man… Did you know you just hit the head on the nail!! Kwanza hii crap ya introduction peculiar to Kenyan f*uckers: Ati Lazima majina ya fala yawe packed in a paragraph: kwa majina ninajulikana kama blah blah blah… What’s your name… My names are blah blah blah… What a boring f-uck of answer
Like Maina Wa Nyama? OR JoKaMbu Investiments? (John Kamau Mbugua)
He he he…kwanza hii ya Kamene… Mozez Mozez…(then a f-ucking pause) …Moses Kanyira… Halafu hii ng’ombe ingine : Mbugwa WA Stage Market 
:D:D:D:Dbado nazunguka nikicheka
He he he
-Nissan is a psv van which is predominantly a Toyota model.
-kung’ara ni kuvaa nguo smart sio kuoga.
-kushuka nywele is to plait hair
Mambo mbaya ni kitu mzuri
What are you guys talking about?
Ndio Ndio!
hiyo suti inakutoa smart kama ‘maiti’, ghetto boy akigara na suti
F-ucking
Ambapo?!