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paraffin shortage

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Village Elder
As Lady Luck smiled on scientists’ effort in their discovery of Viagra and other ‘bedroom boosters’, Kenyan teachers discovered paraffin as the silver bullet to keep students’ libido in check. Since then, local schools have been serving students with paraffin-soaked food to fuel their disinterest in sex and related fantasies.

However, with rampant sexual immorality among students and the growing use of paraffin as a libido-wrecking drug, schools have gone into a paraffin buying frenzy, throwing petrol stations into a panic. Shocking as it may sound, oil importers and petrol station operators are now expressing fear of a looming shortage for the product.

“I am afraid, this country will run into a paraffin shortage crisis in a few days to come. We are experiencing record sales as schools buy the commodity in large volumes. We have been reliably informed most students are nowadays preoccupied with ‘dirty’ thoughts, and giving them paraffin-soaked food is the only way to cool their fired up loins,” said a panic-stricken petrol station operator.

Oil industry players have expressed worries, saying this extraordinary demand has caught them unawares. “From past trends, demand always shoots up whenever schools are reopening. But this time round, the demand has been way too high,” an oil importer told journalists. He expressed shock at the current
humongous demand, adding that he, pardon the pun, didn’t see it coming, leaving pressmen in stitches. “I guess some of the schools have decided to increase the paraffin dosage, following increased cases of sexual misbehaviour.” As a result of the paraffin shortage in some parts of the country, some households that
heavily rely on the product for fuel are now exploring alternative sources like firewood and charcoal.
Our githeri always had a heavy paraffin taste yet firewood was the fuel used for cooking.
But I don't think it was 100% effective coz I accidentally bumped into a class mate Wanking!
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