We,older women, have been accused of not mentoring our younger sisters particularly in matters relationship and hence the big mess and tragedy we observe among our womenfolk. I believe no woman wants to be a single mother or to never have families of their own. Unfortunately, the numbers of these are rapidly escalating. So mamas vuruteni stool niwape mawaidha on how to navigate the shark infested choppy waters of relationships.Its amazing that most women will put more research and due diligence into buying a home appliance than to a prospective marriage partner yet relationships are at the very centre of a womans wellbeing.
1) Stop being naive and gullible! Always do your due diligence.Never take anything at face value! Women are sheltered and also conditioned to be agreeable and trusting. This is the greatest weakness women have and it is why predators and conmen dupe mostly women. Even serial killers love targeting women because theyre not skeptical and careful like men.As much as possible do independent background checks on a man before you become emotionaly invested or enter any type of relationship with a man. A bad man can ruin your life literally. A perfect albeit unfortunate example is Esther Arunga who kept being duped by men but never learnt this lesson until she married a psychopath.
2) Deal with childhood baggage. Most women start off at a disadvantage by being raised in a marriage where the man is a tyrant and has therefore modeled to the girls in that home a negative template of what a man should be. Attachment styles in childhood dictate how a woman relates and who she'll be attracted to. If this is your case seek therapy and pray for a renewal of your mind so that your past wont set you up for failure! Also seek out couples in good marriages and let them become your role model. Get a new image in your mind of what relationships should look like.
3) The Apple does not fall far from the tree. At the earliest available time,try to find out what your prospective partner's family especially parents are like. Due to our modern lifestyles, you could date an occultist, a family with witchcraft or even a man with diseases like sickle cells without realizing it till its too late.
4) Avoid sex before marriage.Sex produces addictive substances in the brain. Men have realized this and now are using sex to make women addicted to them. Sex impairs a womans judgement tremendously. Even if you see red flags you will not leave. Furthermore sex exposes women to many dangers! Sex is a high risk endeavour, with all diseases around,some incurable! For any woman to take such risks it should be worth it, meaning that if the man hasnt put in a commitment - and by commitment I don't mean come we stay I mean legally sanctioned marriage. Why subject yourself to so much risk including pregnancy/abortions for a person who has put nothing on the table! Instead channel that energy to developing yourself rather than on time wasters,womanizers and users.A man who loves you won't compel you to have sex with him. State your principles upfront so that predators can leave you alone!
5) Pray and listen to your sixth sense.Women have strong intuition and its rarely wrong. Don't let your desire for love override your gut instincts.Men are excellent pretenders and atimes your only source of truth is your intuition. With the poor caliber of people in our amoral society, finding a good spouse takes the hand of God. Prayers can enjoin God to help you pick the person suited best for you,while protecting you from counterfeits the devil sends your way to derail you.Avoid the baggage broken relationships and feeling used for sex brings by just saying NO and avoiding compromising situations like home visits,meet in public only.
5) Involve parents and loved ones especially older ones, in your quest. It is said,what an elder can see seated,a child wont see standing. Parents love us and have our best interests more than anybody else. If your parents don't approve your choice tread with care because theyve seen something lurking that your being young and in love wont let you see. Every case Ive seen where a woman married a man against parents wishes ends badly. If their reasons are reasonable move on.
6) Look and feel your best as much as is possible. Men are visual creatures and if you want a partner you must look appealing. However if you're stressed, unhappy, restless and not at peace with yourself,no amount of looks will cover the negative vibes. Love and cherish yourself because you will never get someone who luvs you more than you love yourself. You attract what you are. In a chaotic world,God is the only reliable source of love and hapiness. If you're close to God you'll be beautiful And radiant naturally!
If I think of more I will post later!
1) Stop being naive and gullible! Always do your due diligence.Never take anything at face value! Women are sheltered and also conditioned to be agreeable and trusting. This is the greatest weakness women have and it is why predators and conmen dupe mostly women. Even serial killers love targeting women because theyre not skeptical and careful like men.As much as possible do independent background checks on a man before you become emotionaly invested or enter any type of relationship with a man. A bad man can ruin your life literally. A perfect albeit unfortunate example is Esther Arunga who kept being duped by men but never learnt this lesson until she married a psychopath.
2) Deal with childhood baggage. Most women start off at a disadvantage by being raised in a marriage where the man is a tyrant and has therefore modeled to the girls in that home a negative template of what a man should be. Attachment styles in childhood dictate how a woman relates and who she'll be attracted to. If this is your case seek therapy and pray for a renewal of your mind so that your past wont set you up for failure! Also seek out couples in good marriages and let them become your role model. Get a new image in your mind of what relationships should look like.
3) The Apple does not fall far from the tree. At the earliest available time,try to find out what your prospective partner's family especially parents are like. Due to our modern lifestyles, you could date an occultist, a family with witchcraft or even a man with diseases like sickle cells without realizing it till its too late.
4) Avoid sex before marriage.Sex produces addictive substances in the brain. Men have realized this and now are using sex to make women addicted to them. Sex impairs a womans judgement tremendously. Even if you see red flags you will not leave. Furthermore sex exposes women to many dangers! Sex is a high risk endeavour, with all diseases around,some incurable! For any woman to take such risks it should be worth it, meaning that if the man hasnt put in a commitment - and by commitment I don't mean come we stay I mean legally sanctioned marriage. Why subject yourself to so much risk including pregnancy/abortions for a person who has put nothing on the table! Instead channel that energy to developing yourself rather than on time wasters,womanizers and users.A man who loves you won't compel you to have sex with him. State your principles upfront so that predators can leave you alone!
5) Pray and listen to your sixth sense.Women have strong intuition and its rarely wrong. Don't let your desire for love override your gut instincts.Men are excellent pretenders and atimes your only source of truth is your intuition. With the poor caliber of people in our amoral society, finding a good spouse takes the hand of God. Prayers can enjoin God to help you pick the person suited best for you,while protecting you from counterfeits the devil sends your way to derail you.Avoid the baggage broken relationships and feeling used for sex brings by just saying NO and avoiding compromising situations like home visits,meet in public only.
5) Involve parents and loved ones especially older ones, in your quest. It is said,what an elder can see seated,a child wont see standing. Parents love us and have our best interests more than anybody else. If your parents don't approve your choice tread with care because theyve seen something lurking that your being young and in love wont let you see. Every case Ive seen where a woman married a man against parents wishes ends badly. If their reasons are reasonable move on.
6) Look and feel your best as much as is possible. Men are visual creatures and if you want a partner you must look appealing. However if you're stressed, unhappy, restless and not at peace with yourself,no amount of looks will cover the negative vibes. Love and cherish yourself because you will never get someone who luvs you more than you love yourself. You attract what you are. In a chaotic world,God is the only reliable source of love and hapiness. If you're close to God you'll be beautiful And radiant naturally!
If I think of more I will post later!
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