I once observed a raging debate here between Muslims and “the rest” concerning washing buttocks after taking a shit. The Muslims claimed it was hygienic, while the others expressed disgust. Being the open minded fella that I am, I asked myself what could possibly happen if I engaged in the practice for one week. Would I die? After concluding that the risks were extremely minimal, I decided to push on.
Preparation
I bought a special body washing sponge specifically for cleaning my buttocks. That was all.
Implementation
Pay attention to the following steps coz they’re very very veeeeery critical. I won’t accept responsibility if you misunderstand my instructions and go ahead to do your own nonsense. Okay, the next time I did number 2, I:
[ul]
[li]Wiped with white tissue like most of you normal folk do.[/li][li]Applied some warm water and generous amounts of soap to sponge.[/li][li]Scrubbed leisurely until I was satisfied it was squeaky clean.[/li][li]Rinsed sponge and dried buttocks and genital area.[/li][/ul]
The entire “operation” took around 3 minutes.
Results
I must say, I can’t believe I wiped with tissue for so long. If you want to know how disgustingly unhygienic tissue paper is, next time you go on a long call do a small experiment. When you’ve wiped to the point of thinking you’re clean, do one last mighty wipe. You’ll realize there’s still some meffi stuck on the tissue. Do you want to be walking around with that all day?
I don’t think so. Washing is vastly superior. You know how fresh your mouth feels after brushing your teeth with Colgate herbal or some other cool toothpaste? That’s how my buttocks felt. In short, I got hooked. Nowadays, I must wash my ass after number 2.
Benefits
As stated above, the biggest benefit is arguably improved hygiene. You also focus better on your work, confident in the knowledge that you’re not the source of any disgusting body odors. For peasants like @Jimit, you also get to save on tissue paper costs. Finally, washing eradicates the small matter of skid marks faced by ocha village folks like @Kimakia. You can engage in romantic activities with your significant other without fear of mood killing embarrassments.
Potential drawbacks
The biggest possible drawback to this solution is logistical problems. It works for me because I always have access to a washroom. It might present challenges to poor kenyans like @Mzee mzima, who must take dumps in the bush for lack of proper toilets. If your place of work doesn’t have decent washrooms, you can try a solution that was once suggested here, in another toilet themed thread.
Train your body to do number 2 in the morning before you take a shower. That way, you stay clean throughout the day.
Conclusion
There you have it, my review/guide on how to osha your tako. What began out of curiosity became a lifelong habit for me. If I ever become an actual offline birrionaire, I’ll insist on having bidets in my house. Hopefully, you’ll discover all the joys that come with this rewarding practice.
Wishing you success in your future endeavors!!
https://img.grouponcdn.com/deal/8YuXLy7BA5GjANrxAxzi/8a-700x420/v1/c700x420.jpg