Pointless thread number 2: How I became a mwosha tako

I once observed a raging debate here between Muslims and “the rest” concerning washing buttocks after taking a shit. The Muslims claimed it was hygienic, while the others expressed disgust. Being the open minded fella that I am, I asked myself what could possibly happen if I engaged in the practice for one week. Would I die? After concluding that the risks were extremely minimal, I decided to push on.

Preparation
I bought a special body washing sponge specifically for cleaning my buttocks. That was all.

Implementation
Pay attention to the following steps coz they’re very very veeeeery critical. I won’t accept responsibility if you misunderstand my instructions and go ahead to do your own nonsense. Okay, the next time I did number 2, I:
[ul]
[li]Wiped with white tissue like most of you normal folk do.[/li][li]Applied some warm water and generous amounts of soap to sponge.[/li][li]Scrubbed leisurely until I was satisfied it was squeaky clean.[/li][li]Rinsed sponge and dried buttocks and genital area.[/li][/ul]
The entire “operation” took around 3 minutes.

Results
I must say, I can’t believe I wiped with tissue for so long. If you want to know how disgustingly unhygienic tissue paper is, next time you go on a long call do a small experiment. When you’ve wiped to the point of thinking you’re clean, do one last mighty wipe. You’ll realize there’s still some meffi stuck on the tissue. Do you want to be walking around with that all day?

I don’t think so. Washing is vastly superior. You know how fresh your mouth feels after brushing your teeth with Colgate herbal or some other cool toothpaste? That’s how my buttocks felt. In short, I got hooked. Nowadays, I must wash my ass after number 2.

Benefits
As stated above, the biggest benefit is arguably improved hygiene. You also focus better on your work, confident in the knowledge that you’re not the source of any disgusting body odors. For peasants like @Jimit, you also get to save on tissue paper costs. Finally, washing eradicates the small matter of skid marks faced by ocha village folks like @Kimakia. You can engage in romantic activities with your significant other without fear of mood killing embarrassments.

Potential drawbacks
The biggest possible drawback to this solution is logistical problems. It works for me because I always have access to a washroom. It might present challenges to poor kenyans like @Mzee mzima, who must take dumps in the bush for lack of proper toilets. If your place of work doesn’t have decent washrooms, you can try a solution that was once suggested here, in another toilet themed thread.
Train your body to do number 2 in the morning before you take a shower. That way, you stay clean throughout the day.

Conclusion
There you have it, my review/guide on how to osha your tako. What began out of curiosity became a lifelong habit for me. If I ever become an actual offline birrionaire, I’ll insist on having bidets in my house. Hopefully, you’ll discover all the joys that come with this rewarding practice.

Wishing you success in your future endeavors!!

https://img.grouponcdn.com/deal/8YuXLy7BA5GjANrxAxzi/8a-700x420/v1/c700x420.jpg

True

Hako ka sprinkler ka hiyo choo si kanarudisha mavi kwa tumbo.Heri the normal way ya kuslide (gukiritaa) kama nimeketi kwa nyasi…It leaves the shithole very clean

Hehe … khasia

I must say I admire your going out of the way to actually try. Most here just want to yap around without being practical.
Once you are used to this routine, slowly, you’ll always have a bottle of water with you, whenever you visit foreign places, slowly you’ll realize you don’t need that sponge, then you won’t ever feel embarrassed to go to a friend’s place and ask for water or bottle when you wonna use the washroom.
The benefits like you’ve outlined, cleaner underwater and no odours.
Watu wawe wasafi

@Kimakia aaaaa niwamakia…

Are you even normal… I just envisioned a dog after you said that…

Not sure why people don’t wash their ass after taking a shit. Ask yourself… Ukijimwagia pudding Kwa mkono, would you rather wash with water or wipe with a cloth/tissue?,

Done!

What is the point of washing buttholes when some of them take one shower per week?

A friend of mine once blasted some chic were in a group setting hapo South c, discussing vitu tu.

After yap yap hapa kule, He asks her, assuming you went to a restaurant, and you ordered food. And then you see the waiter take an empty plate from some customers who have just finished eating, and he proceeds to wipe it with a towel, serve your food then bring it to you. Would you eat the food? Hell no, she said.

Yeah so wash your ass before you serve it!

Super sweep! Those who were drinking shots did doubles!

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D So you recycle the sponge that you use to scrub your butthole? It is better to use a disposable wet wipe which is only 15 bob. It works like magic. Better yet, take a shit early in the morning before you take a shower.

Yeah, no biggie. I use it after wiping with tissue, and with warm water and soap, so it’s not like there’s that much to clean. Even if you take a shower after number 2, you’ll still scrub the same area so will you use a new shower cloth every morning? With soap its very easy to rinse. I considered wet wipes but found them a little too slay queenish for my taste.

Nothing elaborate required.
I have my morning routine that I follow religiously unless sick or visiting shags.
Get out of bed.
Visit the loo and take a looong dump.
Take a shower and in the process clean the buttocks including the butt hole.
Wipe myself clean and dry.
Take my breakfast.
Brush my teeth.
Dress up for the day, apply lotions, moisturizers, roll ons, anti deodorants, anti perspirants etc then leave.
Note:I take only that one dump in a day unless am having stomach issues.
Which butt therefore don’t I wash?
Been doing it for ages and it’s no biggie unless you are hygienically challenged.

https://m.timesofindia.com/life-style/health-fitness/photo-stories/6-reasons-why-you-should-wash-not-wipe-your-butt/photostory/61484463.cms

Try that,you’ll like it,the skid marks left on the grass attracts cows,goat and sheep.to the spot.They are always feeding from the such spot

Very gaychieth post:meffi::meffi:

Most folks are changing their habits. It’s the year 2019 watu wakuwe wasafi. If you have any formal education you don’t need anybody to tell you washing your ass is the most hygienic way yo go about it. Big up to @captain obvious for making use of his education and conducting his study. The sheep ignorant people fighting against education waendelee na skid marks.
[MEDIA=instagram]Bu6hx8DohUI[/MEDIA]

wale wanatumia koton,maizecob na karatasi ya maziwa tukae pande gani?
http://i.imgur.com/NUKbO.gif

shitty post