Salons and Kinyozis

Walking around Umoja I am met with lots of these modern salons and kinyozis, some are still opening. Swali ni, is it the new qual egg in town? And I have noted keenly that these Congolese and rwandese are the ones operating them.

Mi sikuelewi, what did you meet there?

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Unasema executive salon and kinyozi popping up left,right and centre ama?

New business opportunities.

qual or quail?

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Acha watu watafute bro.

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Do you have a problem with that?

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hizi kinyozi za kumassage kisogo zimezidi sasa unapata wazee wamekaa kwa queue waiting on the massage chick. ghasssia

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stop noting keenly

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soon utachangia hashtag ya #deportforeigners, shinda hapo

Tata itaponya magonjwa yote.

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I love that massage. Kuna kasichana kamoja kananisugua the back of my neck and part of my back mpaka naamcha

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Those foreigners are very loyal. Sio wezi na job wanachapa Poa kabisa.Hata mimi nimeandika wawili.

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Nyoa paka siprit na niende

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Hata gashui anaenda huko for the massage

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Some of them know what they are doing to you will make mzee stand at attention and they enjoy watching you suffer.
I asked one if she knew the effect of what she was doing on me and she laughed and told me men are very weak.

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Mimi sina shida na a foreigner akitafuta pesa within legal means. Watu wabaya ni hawa shady West Africans but Rwandans are generally morally upright people. And they offer a better service than Kenyans.

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Kenya is a land of opportunities lakini we Kenyans take it for granted. Do you remember a few years ago when we laughed at Somalis and their single rooms in Eastleigh? Now they own almost all businesses in the Nairobi CBD. The Rwandese have started too, give them a few years and they shall be employing us. I think war toughens them, they realise there are worse things than Railaphobia or Uhuruphobia. I talked to one of them and he said, in their funny accented swahili ‘‘Wakenya munachezea moto, ile siku vita itapotokea ndipo mtanyoroka mwache kelele.’’ then he told me some of the things he has seen.

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Waambieni tunawahitaji Runda pia

Thousands of Kenyans work and do business in Rwanda, Paul Kobias are in Congo sneaking out gold and diamonds! Plus the senile gukas wenye wanasumbua hapa can be healed of their erectile dysfunction if they get regular massage from Rwandese mamas.