Niaje wadau ? I swear I feel like waru imekatalia inside my throat ! I have been away from the village for quite a time now, this is because I was attending a course that was both physically demanding and emotionally draining. It started roughly mid Jan and ended just recently so you can imagine how thrilled I was to learn that my best friend from Gilo had also been nominated to attend the same course. Those who remember this is the same guy who welcomed me in Gilo last year when I was there last year for another course. Interestingly huyu mrembo mwenye nimekamuliwa tulikua naye huko attending the same course(my friend wasnt attending that one).
Let me introduce her and for the purpose of this short hekaya lets call her Leah(like i would reveal her name) Now fellas leah is what imei looks for in a woman ! she is big and voluptuous (mifupa ni ya shepat) kind hearted, always smilling, welcoming and above she can carry her weight yaanin she can run without breaking a sweat. So tukiwa gilo I never let my intentions be known to her though secretly I always fantasized the things i could do to her under the cover of darkness. You may ask why I never mustered the courage to tell her and the answer is plain Simple from the numerous courses that i have done with service women should you express your feelings to them during the duration of the course they tend to be baggage and demand favours hence lowering the standard of training. Secondly and an astute student of 48 laws of power and hence applied the law that states never let your true intentions be known. So as much as I felt her I played cool mpaka tukamaliza.
In comes my friend lets call him Peter , now folks this is one sick cat, a friend to the moon and back yaani we cover each others back, been through shit together and come out on top. So I was thrilled that me, leah and peter would be spending close to five months together training. Like in Gilo I kept my distance from leah just exchanging pleasantries occasionally nothing much meanwhile Peter despite being married she is busy all over scouting for potential lay throughout the course my dumb ass never thought my dear leah would be in his cross hairs!
On the final day of the course my stupid drunk self decides to pour out my heart and feelings to leah at the party! she is surprised and like imei how comes you never told me tukiwa Gilo am like I kept to myself. She is shocked but clearly flowing with the vibe. She tells me that i look for her at the end of the party but yours truly drinks silly and passes out never remembers shit. Peter never attended the party as he had an altercation with one of the instructors and he left. The following day we end the course and everybody leaves to go back to their bases.
Two days later out of nowhere leah calls me and am in a mat I tell her I would call her back , two minutes later Peter calls me and tells me imei leah just called me ! am like what did she want ? he tells me “ati salamu tu " am like really ? he is “huyu hanijui mimi sisamehangi!” not to look like a pucci am like akijipa wewe nyorosha he is like” wacha nimskize walai akija mimi nitamtesa san hajui anacheza na nani!" ladies and gentlemen knowing peter i knew this was a done deal! So when i alighted nikapigia leah …
imei: niaje dear (you gotta make them feel special)
leah: vipi imei ile siku ulienda bila kunishow
imei: zii mrembo nililewa sana
leah: si unapenda pombe(like i care
imei: it was a special day
leah: by the way uliniambia twende kwako ati uko na bed mbili but nilijua uko mlevi(honestly i dont remember saying this)
imei: pretendin like i knew ) by the way i meant it
leah : by the way mbona unachukia madem ? uliniambia venye umekua hurt sana (wtf in my drunken stupor had mention shit with my baby mommas)
imei: really sijui haki
leah: ntakam one day uniambie by the way ulinipromise black label
imei: black tu kujia next week niko free!
leah: sawa bae (wtf) see you then
imei : hangs up
kidogo kidogo peter ananichapia whatsapp wameanza kuchat and “it looks promising” meanwhile he is sharing snapshots za convo …hata mimi nikaanza kuchat naye whatsapp , the more inangiana upande wa peter mimi pande yangu inaanza kua one word replies in the mean time najua everything yenye wanaongea na peter but being the gentleman i dont want to play dirty so najua tu but siwes tumia in my arsenal on the other hand peter hajui kama mimi niko idhaa ya leah pia . To cut the long story peter jana amevuka caanan na mimi bado niko egypt ! I gotta give it to these youngin though niggaz hawacheki in less than two weeks nigga amenikamulia leah !!!
we still chatting with her but sijui hata nifanye nini ! But i dont blame my friend By the way hata sijaskia vibaya!
I think Peter hakufanya makosa, he didn’t know umekufia huyo dem. Nyama ilijileta na akararua like the kidinyi he is, at least he informed you that shit was about to go down.
I happen to watch a documentary on youtube called art of war.Going for a woman is like going for a mind war. You have to be precise and act fast. Strategize before an attack … but know there might be casualties. I think you forgot some of the rules and you became an emotional casualty. Tafuta ingine. That wasn’t yours and if you run after her utauumia more because you will never forget what Peter did
ushawahi ona momo kwa military? I know they might be thick but not momo kama za pandikizi