Real shocking shit has happened to me, I traveled to my home town on Tuesday and so for the last two days as you would expect I have been running around town, meeting childhood friends and relatives. On Tuesday I went to check out a relatives new pub, the pub is located in the basement of some building, a very dark and dingy place. Once you get into that place and it’s like you’re in a whole different world, you can’t tell which time of the day it’s. So I get in I talk to the guy for some time and as I am walking out, a dark figure in a corner calls me by my childhood nickname, I am kind of shocked!! I move closer an wallah! It’s my deskie from primo. I haven’t seen this guy in almost a decade!! time flies!!
In the primary school I was in once you get to class eight, the class teacher get’s decide who you should sit with. They had this thing where by they would mix the guys who were doing well academically with the guys who weren’t as good. The class teacher didn’t really like me, this after the old man gave him a thorough tongue lash , a story for another, so I end up with this bugger that everyone absolutely loathed. The guy was the embodiment of the ultimate asshole, he was loud, loved small talk and gossip( the two things that I hate to date) he was a snitch, he is one of the most belligerent people I have ever encountered, he could walk to the tiniest class four kid and smash him with a hot slap followed swiftly with a sweep, without any provocation. Plus he had this weird voice, the mofo talked like a little girl, think of Penguin in Gotham, yes that’s who I am talking about.
We couldn’t get along so at some point this new comer girl joins our class and she doesn’t have a desky, the girl becomes his girl friend and he decides that he’ll be sitting with her whenever there is no teacher in class, I was so relieved. You can’t hold on to such trivial beefs when you haven’t seen a guy for that long, so I excitedly go over I am trying to give the guy the kawaida shoulder hug but guy jumps and give me a tight bear hug!!! I am like wait a minute! what’s happening here!? Get off me you motherfuker! please! you’re violating me hehe. Bear hugs are reserved for fairer sex but’s it’s like Penguin here never got the memo. Anyway I assumed it’s the alcohol, some men tend to do gayish shit when drunk.
So I sit down and we talk, the guy might be a butthole but he’s one of the funniest people you’ll ever meet. He tells me he has an NGO, he doing quite very well for himself and we decided to meet today to do more catching up. So leo tume meet, tume choma kambuzi, we’re drinking, laughing, reminiscing over the good old days, the guy is determined to prove that he’s doing much better than me and I let him have his moment. Then at some point another friend of mine comes in and on seeing us, a distraught look flashes on his face, he comes over pulls me aside, walks me out and in a very stern voice he’s like, Why the hell are you sitting with this guy! This guy is a very notorious faggort in this town! For your own good, don’t be seen with him. We walked out of that building and I immediately went home and blocked the ‘deskies’ number. Damnit!
