Before i could settle on the best way to die. My mouth was running dry my eye lid had already started twitching.I came into a conclusion it’s a pre-death symptoms.
I thought of my phone maybe i would text a friend or my brother it might cut the cost of a post-mortem.Maybe he will come immediately.Bt kabla atoke pale ako na hata maybe ako maji kabla afike 5th floor, haezi niokoa.
All this was crossing my mind with millisecond.
I felt hopeless when i remembered simu iko bedroom.A little prayer wife akaekae kitchen. This time round nikaamka niendee simu. Hata before nisimame upright she sneezed.I don’t know how bt i found my self shouting “Simu! " Simu iko bedroom! My mind was fucked up by now lazima iwe niliwa nimekill many brain cells with the severe headache.
At last nikaedea simu na nikarudi pale living room. Hapo ndio mwoman akatoka kitchen.
Akachukua remote volume akareduce to half akaniangalia then akasema,“maji ukaitisha hujakunywa, food ndio hio hujakula bado uko kwa ile maneno si tulitoka huko?”
I nodded nikijua i won’t act suspicious nor will i bring on the issue ya sachet acha ikae tu hapo.Sioji kifo nefa.
Wife bado amesimama hapo kado acha anza kunishow nichangamkie food.For the first time in my life nilifeel kupiga duru! Then nikakubuka my grandfather told me its a taboo for a man kupiga duru. Nikakubuka alinishow yeye alipiga duru 1952 state of emergency…my time was now. I was a man in distress.I decide to text my brother before i take the first spoon so I reached for my phone and before nieke password ndio mwoman akaketi karibu nami akachukua simu akaeka kado then food akachapa spoon moja karibu niamke na sofa set ju thought ya ameamua ku detonate kombora mwenyewe after kuona nimechorea iliflood kwa mind akasema” hii imepoa acha nikawarm," akajitoa hadi na maji.
Even before she could vanish from my sight i was on the third word glorifying,remembering even my ancestors… Ju hapa niliwa nimeona tukishare dinner with them.
Wife akakam na food hapo nikaanza kujifanya mromantic kumuojesha hata kabla nianze kudish. Kumkubusha sweet memories eventually ki u jaja she is the one who ate the largest portion.
Moment later i excused my self kuna msee naeda kupatana naye bt in mind nilikuwa najiuliza nitafika kwa pub aje Kwanza niteremshe mbili mbio mbio.
I didn’t take a bath akateta bt nikamshow i will later.
Kwa pub nilitoa zogo even though my counterpart was heavly build…he was landing a calculated brawl on my face, chest bt couldn’t feel them nikikubuka am a dead man walking. On the other side i was kicking like a donkey and bitting like a crocodile. Everyone was cheering bt not untill that time i held that guy firmly between my legs.
Remembering all that has transpired earlier, to everyones suprise. Nikaona nijitoe hasira nayeye. Thinking i will let the dude free i bent down straight to his left ear.
The next moment i was chewing his ear, the part covering lobule and antitragus then nika i spit kwa meza.Raia kuona hivo ikajitoa mbio. Hapo ndio nikahama hio mtaa kabisa in fear of revenge.