Back in campus hapo first year, being broke was the order of the day considering that i finished that whole year bila kupata loan ya Helb. lakini considering that i still had to partake in alcohol and chase campus pu**y lazima msee angetafuta a way of making an extra coin, ata kama most of the ways one did this hazikuwa njia legit sana. though nilikuwa broke, appetite yangu ya pombe ilikuwa very rich, and any money i got lazima ninge budget for alcohol ata kama ni vikombe kadhaa za keg. campus politics were very exciting, halafu ilikuwa period pombe na pesa inaflow kama wewe ni mjanja. sasa one day i approach this guy who was vying for school president, with some bullshit story vile mimi ni secretary wa organization ya one of the significant tribes in the school and i can help him get everybodies vote from my tribe. The guy swallows the bait na akaorganize lunch the next day, and i was to go with some of the other leaders from my tribe. hapo nikatafuta some few guys with a promise of free lunch, na after discussions nikapewa 5k nigawie wazee as we wait for the president to be ajipange, amwage pesa mzuri the coming week. since we were 5, i kept 3k na nikaambie hizo ng'ombe zingine zigawanye elfu mbili vile zitataka. after hapo nikakimbia tao, nikafanya ka shopping ka 1k, kurudi kwa nyumba, then nikaamua kufika base ya keg ya kawaida atleast kujirudishia asanti. kufika base nafeel kama tycoon nikaamua siwezi chafua throat na keg ama vitu kama napoleon, so nikaitisha konyagi half. nimekaa kwa counter ni ma stori tu na mama wakuuza, na pombe zinanichanganya ata nimeanza kumuuliza aliamua atanipea puthy lini. the mama was a mungikiress, light skin ile mbaya, but thick in all the wrong places. mama amesema ananifeel pia, and i should keep drinking then we can go to her place after she closes the bar. kuangalia konyagi yangu ishaisha, nikaitisha ingine quarter nikunywe nikingoja huyu mama. sasa shida ni ati nilikuwa nimelewa ile mbaya ni vile mimi sikua nafeel any different. after kumaliza ile quarter, ilikuwa kitu 1130pm na huyu mathe sasa ndio alikuwa analazimisha walevi wamalize pombe she closes for the day. ulevi ikaniambia kuenda kukula huyu barmaid ni ufala, and i should go club tao singekosa dame wa kufunga. so i clear my bill, and as i plan to leave, the mungikiress begs me to leave my phone ati niko too drunk il lose the phone and i can go pick it the next day kwake, ama afte akifungua base. kutoka base niko high ile mbaya na kwa mfuko niko na 1300. nikachukua msee wa nduthi and we agree ni 100 hadi ta0. juu sitaki tukosane i pay him na 200 before nipande bike. kufika the first club i tell the guy he should wait hapo nje, i check kama kuna wasee najua, if not tuende the next club that is my favourite. one minute nishascan club, nikaona hakuna potential puthys, na nikatoka. i go panda the bike halafu akanifikisha the other club. hapa sasa ndio shida ilianza, nikishuka bike the guys says nilipe. we argue and the guy is a kisii so there is no way am winning this argument. juu niko drunk and feeling like a baller, i hand the guy the 1k and tell him atoe pesa yake. he starts explaining vile hawezi niiba na hataki tuachane kama tumekosana. kwa hizo harakati a schoolmate that also happens to be vying for some smaller sit, akakam kuulize if everything is okay. nikamuelezea and he says that is a small issue. he gives the nduthi guy 500, tells him atoe 100 then he should give me the remaining money nipewe chupa mbili pale club nikiingia. the nduthi guy tukabaki na yeye and now he is telling me vile ako sad nimepoteza mia mbili, and that he is willing to take me for free to places tulikuwa tumestop before reaching our destination tuone kama inaeza kuwa niliangusha hyo pesa. something tells me its a good idea na nikapanda nduthi tukaanza kurudi. first stop ni the club tulisimama kwanza. the guys tells me ni possible niliangusha hyo doo nikitoa id kuonyesha bouncer. so nikashuka and start walking towards the club entrance. next thing i hear ni nduthi ikipigwa moto na ikichomoka. my brain ikajumpstart na nikakumbuka huyu msee ako na 1k yangu plus the 500 amepewa anipee change. kufika place nilimuacha naona tail light ikipotelea. i jump on another bike and tell him akimbize hyo bike. kufika kwa main road, ikakuwa impossible kutrace the bike. huyu msee wa nduthi akanihurumia and asks me nataka aniweke wapi for free. nikamshow club na akanipeleka pale. ndani ya club ata pombe zimeshuka nikikumbuka i had money on me na saa hii niko zero. somehow i manage tukatia a not so fine chick and she asks me to join their table. walikuwa madame kadhaa wanap esa vizuri from the alcohol they were drinking. nikaitishiwa guiness mbili and i start dancing in turns with this girls. nikarealize hapa nina chance ya kufunga dame, but sasa sikuwa na pesa ya fare ama ata ya kubuy condoms. so i decide the best thing is to save my pride na nihepe hawa madame. vile waliamka ku dance nikawaambia acha nipumzike kiasi. vile walitoka tu na kaweka guiness zangu chini ya armpits na kujitoa club. kufika nje natafuta soo ilibaki nilipe nduthi nikakosa. i had to walk for close to 10km at three in the morning, cursing ule mtu wa bodaboda na cursing alcohol. kesho yake nikiamka nilijichekelea sana uzuri nilikuwa na guiness zakutoa lock na unaeza imagine nilifeel aje vile nilipata ile mia kwa mfuko after walking ten kilometers. hyo mia nilikasirika na nikaenda nikapea ule mama wa base ya keg kama asanti ya kuniwekea simu juu hyo pia mkisii wa boda angeniabia.