So this is what wazees mean wakisema "tafuta pesa kwanza wachana na wanawake."

Ile karata unaeza chezewa huku njee kama hauna pesa sio mchezo. Boychild kama hauna pesa usijaribu kuleta ‘dem yako’ around moneyed ninjas.

The other day a friend warned one of his less financially blessed boys against joining us for drinks. Alimwambia if he really wanted to come then he should leave his girlfriend behind. Nugu haikuskia. He was looking for an opportunity to trophy the kunguru before ‘fresh eyes’. After all, they had been dating for years. Hauwezi toa huyo dem kwake. Or so he thought.

Jamaa alichotewa dem akiona. All it took was for one of the guys to give her 2K “ya salon” because she was having a bad hair day (alikuja akislay na kitambaa kwa kichwa). Boychild kujaribu kuvuruga kunguru for accepting the cash, akapinduliwa. The whole bar started castigating him for wanting to beat “a woman”. He stormed out in rage akaacha kunguru.

The next morning after reality hits, he calls the kunguru and you can guess who answered her phone. Jamaa aliambiwa, “kijana tulikuambia tafuta pesa wachana na wasichana.”

Angalau hata weka sketch ya 2k ya salon

:D:D tunajua nini wewe. This what happened

The other day a friend warned me against joining them for drinks. Aliniamwambia if i really wanted to come then i should leave my girlfriend behind.
Sikuskia. Kamote
After all, we have been dating for years. Hauwezi nirusha huyo dem wangu. Or so i thought.

Nilichotewa dem nikiona.
All it took was for one of the guys to give her 2K “ya salon” because she was having a bad hair day (alikuja akislay na kitambaa kwa kichwa). Nilijaribu kuvuruga kunguru for accepting the cash, nikapinduliwa. The whole bar started castigating me for wanting to beat “a woman”. I stormed out with rage nikaacha kunguru.

The next morning after reality hits, i called the kunguru and you can guess who answered her phone. Jamaa aliniambia, “Boss nilikuambia utafute pesa uwachane na wasichana.”

Mnakunywanga wapi kuna mmoja amekatalia hapa kwangu …

Hehehe

Haigwesekani!

U must be dating a bottom of the barrel chokoraa if all it takes is $19 to spread her legs for a new man. So what will happen when she needs a car?

Chokoraa wawili walipatana. The guy is a chokoraa too if he could win her over.

He is your friend. Nikikuita chokosh pia nitakuwa nimekosea?? :D:D

Men are engineered to want what other men have, especially women. Drink long enough in these city clubs and you will notice a trend. Utaona one or two kunguruz kwa meza sipping drinks for over an hour bila kuongeleshwa. You approach them and sit at their table or vice versa. From that point onwards, every man within a 10M radius from that table will try to hit on those kunguruz. A kunguru is more likely to be hit on if she has male company because men will stop viewing them as dangerous prostitutes.

Not my friend. A friend of a friend. Sijui walipatana wapi.

:D:D:D

If I had a dollar for every time I have dodged this bullet…

Dem wa kupiga kambi kwangu mimi huonea yeye mbali sana. Way before she pulls up in a cab na gunia mzima ya manguo kwa boot. This lesson I learnt the hard way.

One of these days nitatoa hekaya.

I’d be happy mahn. So many ladies out here, doesn’t matter how much onenis worth. Kama huna pesa play like you got it, na kuma utakula tena swafii. Ama be yourself

a poorly scripted hekaya. sasa mambo ya bar na saloon zinapatana wapi

:D:D:D:D

Hii ni story ya base ya jaba. Kunguru are never that crude

They are. Soma hekaya yangu. It might seem unbelievable but zi uhappen. Utapata huyo dem alikuwa tu anangoja the right opportunities. But pia huyu mwanaume ni bwege sana. No 1 usiwai enda dunda na dem yako unless you can control 90% of what happens. No 2. Unaenda na dem yako kwa rich niggas hiyo ni kama dem wako kukupeleka kwa model only bash alafu anaexpect usihanye but it seems like a made up story.

Hii I can relate. Tukitokea fuction ya church huko Naivasha tulikuwa na nafasi extra kwa gari and we offered it to a lady we met there. She was with her fiance na actually the next month was supposed to be their pre wedding.

It was raining heavily and since the lady was living at Sunton na tulikuwa tunapita ivo, tukaambia dem atujoin. Her fiance akaanza kukataa akisema angoje waendanishe yet he was going Ngong, had some stuff to do before he left and he had no car. She went to speak to her man hapo kando and judging by how hands were being thrown tulijua it was an argument.

I hooted as a sign for them to wrap it up quickly and the lady alirushia jamaa wake mkono in anger and hopped in the back seat between two ninjas. One of them Juma who hails from the coast. A guy I can’t trust even with my mother.

To cut the long story short, kabla tufike Roysambu the lady was covertly being fingered by Juma under a Maasai shuka ya dem walikuwa wamejifunika nayo. We pretended not to notice and fast forward to today. Juma is happily married to that woman na wako na watoi wawili.

What happened to the Ngong ninja ningependa kujua. Guys, be financially stable and own a car. Otherwise ata bibi anaweza enda ukionanga.

Toa hekaya msee

:D:D

Hahaa