Special Delivery Part II

Wadau,

Now you niggas know the first part of this storo is still fresh in your minds. For those who don’t kumbuka check it out.

So now this chick Xiao (or Siau) has been on my case non-stop since that fateful Saturday. Ma WhatsApp, Wechat, calls, texts you name it. Chick is trying to contact me like every half hour. Man, I just had to take a quick decision cuz I’m too old for this shit.

I’ve been entertaining her storo this whole week on some gentleman shit but jana she patad me in a foul mood and I didn’t feel like chopping it up with her at all. She gave me a call when I was in the middle of a project…( I work from home, I’m a lucky bastard)…and I had an important presentation later.

“Hey handsome!” she said all excited. I knew she would call me like 10 times that morning, so I said fcuk this shit…I gently told her I’m married and she has to stop with all the messages and calls.

“No wonder! I saw your ring but I didn’t want to ask you about it, cuz I have no right to. I’m sorry I didn’t mean for this to happen, I guess I got carried away by the moment. So sorry” she says.

Hmmm… I think to myself, that went well.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but that is the situation i’m in right now. I’m actually feeling very guilty about all this, but it’s not your fault. I should have controlled myself better. I’m older than you and you were drunk. I’m just lucky my wife had gone to visit her parents in Malaysia.” I lied. (my ex was actually a Chinese-Malaysian)…quick thinking :cool:

Her next statement was a shocker; “I’m sorry Gabe, I just want to see you again so bad” She then starts to sob on the phone. Damn.

Throughout the conversation I went through a roller-coaster of emotions. I was hit with the:

https://www.meme-arsenal.com/memes/309078c60b53c9f6b2ad6e49cdda98ef.jpg

Man, the fcuk I got myself into?

I knew I had to think fast but I was a bit shellshocked. What to do??? I let her cry and told her it’s OK, it’s allright… shoulder to cry on and all that…After she calmed down, I told her we shall talk about this later, but she should not contact me after four o’clock. “it’s okay dear, I understand” she said.

I kumbukad the song by Snoop Dogg “Lodi Dodi” :

“Damn, now what was I to do? She’s crying over me and she was feeling sad and blue”…

This was serious.

I told myself I’ll deal with this shit later cuz I had to go for a business meeting at Raffles hotel at 3 pm for a pre-meet with my associates. I finished my work, had a quick lunch (leftovers from the fridge), and prepared to go for the meeting. I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive to town because of the expensive ERP and the traffic, so I got the MRT and alighted at City Hall then walked a short distance to my meeting place. I met my associates already there at 2:45 pm (these mofos keep time like Swiss) and we went over the presentation. The client arrived promptly at the agreed time. It was an old Chinese man who oozed old money and class.

Now, you niggas must be aware that Singapore has the highest concentration of millionaires in the world. Much of the wealth is new money, and people like to show it off. Armani, Prada, Gucii, Aston Martins, high end apartments, the works. These are the expats mostly British, Australians, etc whom the locals call “Ang Moh”-investment bankers, IT people, real estate agents, lawyers, etc. They have high incomes but are not really THAT wealthy. I would call them upper middle class. Now, there is the old money. These are mbirrionares whose fortunes were made by the Overseas Chinese who founded Singapore — families who built their wealth 30 generations ago. They dress down and hide their wealth, spend their money covertly and are never ostentatious. I can smell them from a mile away.

Therefore, I knew I had to be on my best with this client. He was accompanied by a young guy, probably his PA, and one of the hottest chicks I’ve ever seen in my life. Now, on a scale of 1-10 I would give the lady 12. She was a stunner. Looked something like this (not the real her of course)…

https://ae01.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1AD4wKpXXXXcWXVXXq6xXFXXXO/Formal-Gray-Blazer-Women-Business-Suits-with-Skirt-and-and-Jacket-Sets-Slim-Ladies-Office-Suits.jpg

Damn!! Tall, elegant, intelligent, wacha tuu.

“Wah lao eh!!!” I thought to myself. This is the type of squeeze who’s in my league not that crazy college girl!

Anyway, we proceeded with introduction ; Her name is Sheng Wu and she had a slight British twang. She is one of the lawyers for the old man’s holding company. Interesting. So the meeting started. It went well. My presentation was on point, although the old man insisted on speaking Mandarin and the PA had to translate. But I think it was all an act though cuz he understood every word of the presentation.

Anyhoo, the meeting went great and we proceeded to the Tiffin Room for High Tea, complete with pink Champagne. Very elegant. Since we were the youngest in the group, and the poor PA had to stay with the old man at all times, we got talking with Ms. Sheng.

" You know, your name is quite nice, it reminds me of my native language in Africa, and also one of my favourite groups Wu-Tang Clan" I said. “Oh really, how quaint” She said. “I also like Hip-hop, especially the old school groups like A Tribe called Quest, but my favourite music is Jazz.”

Ala!!! Kumbe this prim and proper lady gets down like that!! Hapo kwa Jazz nikajua baaaaaaaaaas! ameingia mtego wa panya, cuz I’m one of those fellas who can talk to you about anything in this world-and I do like Jazz as well. Tukabonga kuhusu Louis Armstrong, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Charlie Parker, Thelonious Monk…you name it, I’ve got it!! :cool::wink:

“If you don’t mind my asking, are you British?” i asked. “No, i’m Singaporean, why?” “Your accent, it’s so elegant” Baaas, nikaona ka blush…That day lady luck was on my side…I was just pushing the right buttons pole pole tuu bila kujua… “I studied at Oxford University…Corpus Christie College…also took my LLM at King’s College London.”

Wow…Hii mtu apana iko macheso yawa!!!

https://i.imgflip.com/br9m1.jpg

“I studied at LSE” I replied. Sasa basi…more things in common! Manze, the gods of fate were smiling down on me that day. We had so much to talk about. Life in London, Finance, Jazz, Hip-hop, her American boyfriend…:mad: Apparently he works in New York…some sort of “creative” and they studied together at King’s.:mad:

“So how do you guys manage, you know, with the distance and all?” I asked. “Oh we skype everyday and visit each other as often as we can. He’s moving here so we’ll be together soon”

Nikajua OK…What the nigga won’t know won’t hurt him…

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4f/9c/1b/4f9c1bff81e8f851f24ca8fd98fa2ba9.jpg

There was so much to talk about but alas! It was time to say our goodbyes. I had to be very careful and professional with this one cuz of the business ties with her employer. So I had to play my cards right…

I hurried to catch the MTR back home.

PART II loading…

No

kudos, leta part next coz this is already part II

Where you went to school people move from part 2 onto part 2, ama?

Hurry up! I am trying to not ask when you were at LSE.:wink:

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I like your narration skills.

Even though i dont lke people who use such words as quoted by @Okwonkwo above

:D:D:D:D Fisi Mkuu natumai uko sawa na unalinda mifugo bila tashwishi

Charlo is well travelled. You really cannot google/make up the stuff he posts. He HAS lived it. End of.

Sema kile unataka kusema. Ukiona fisi inanyemelea ndama zangu uniarifu. Niko Vladivostok.

You have a softspot for Asian? A personal friend was and is hooked up till today

part next…ikam

Hapo kwa jazz I waited to hear about our own HELLON but umeniangusha anyway part 3 ikuom teketeke

Safi wazito. Haiyaa basi…Part next ndiyo hii hapa…

I arrived Pasir Ris at around 10 pm. I was in high spirits, man. The meeting had gone well, and more importantly I couldn’t keep this Sheng Wu chick out of my mind. It’s funny sometimes how fate conspire against us mere mortals. Anyhoo, I said wacha I wait to watch World Cup. Si that #PORESP game was fire, waah! Well worth the wait. I finally got some sleep at around 4am asubuhi. What a perfect day that was.

So si I woke up late. Planned a lazy day kwa house tuu. I had a late breakfast. I checked my phone and saw I had like 50 messages or something. One caught my eye….It was from Xiao. (censored hapa na pale)

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Ala! When did this squeeze learn to speak like Buju Banton? Mambo bad! I gave her a call. She was like, “you promised me something yesterday.” “What was that?” I honestly couldn’t remember. “Ai ya, ahlao, you forgot oreddy how? Wah lao! You promise we go paktor alredi. Sian max today for me la”

Damn, that’s when I remembered the drama jana. I had completely forgotten. Man, compared to Sheng Wu, this was like downgrading from a Lamborghini to a Prius, ama from Kobe beef to mutura. “chio bu, I told you my situation alredi lah” I told her. “Ah lao, we just friends no strings OK just a friend to call when in trouble and need to talk” she said. I knew this wasn’t going to end well, but I owed her and anyway I was in a good mood. I told her I shall meet her at the Pasir Ris Central Hawker Centre.

Now, don’t let the name fool you. In Chinese culture, eating is an obsession, a passion, a way of life. People greet each other “Nǐ chī le ma?” or, “have you eaten?” Hawker centers are semi-enclosed buildings with food stalls that serve a variety of food and desserts, like the food courts we have in the mall. They are very popular.

Something like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ube9VPfpJRg

So we met at around 5 pm at the entrance to the hawker centre. She gave a huge hug and a peck on the cheek, which was awkward as fcuk for me. She was dressed in some kind of African top which raised my eyebrow. Na huyu dame ako na bidii!! I thought. Anyway, I noticed she was accompanied by a Malay girl. “Gabz yule mmoja, may I introduce you to Nadia my roommate” Man, niliskia a cold sweat iki teremka kwa mgongo. This chick is getting too cozy for my liking. Next thing I know she will bring her mum or aunties along. I had to put a stop to this one way or another. “Pleased to meet you” I greeted Nadia as we proceeded inside.

Sisi hao ndani. I had crab meat soup and dumplings to start while they had Wonton soup. For mains I had char kway teow, Xiao had hokkien hae mee, while Nadia had a sotong panggang. For dessert we had ice cream and waffles all washed down with soft drinks. This was deliberate because I was not ready to risk again with alcohol.

Anyhoo, sisi hawa hapa……….

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FINAL PART AFTER BALL
:smiley:

Weka lexicon ya hiyo slang ya singapore, ah lao

muzee leta maneno ya Brazil bana

Nooo

Jaluo maliza hekaya.

This guy must be typing with his toes.

You asked for it…you’ve got it!
…The lunch was great because the girls were mostly on their phones on Snapchat or wherever, gossiping, giggling, taking pictures of the food, of us…the normal things young girls do. This suited me fine cuz I just wanted to get this over and done with and I drop them home.

At around 7 pm, I told them I had to bounce cuz I had an important meeting later. Kumbe it was just the Nigeria match I wanted to watch, plus I needed to get rid of them pronto anyway. They looked disappointed, but such is life. We left the place and entered the moti and started driving towards their digs. Now, the motogari was blasting my favourite Wu-tang Clan album, enter the Wu-Tang (the 36 Chambers)

“Cash, Rules, Everything, Around, Me
C.R.E.A.M.
Get the money
Dollar, dollar bill y’all…”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBwAxmrE194

Now Xiao sat in front and Nadia behind. As we enjoyed the tunes coming from the car stereo, from the corner of my eye I saw Xiao had that look in her eye. That look that said, “I want to devour you”-Oh no, not again!! Since I didn’t seem interested, she put her hand on my leg and squeezed a couple of times. Her soft, small hands were squeezing my knee through my trousers. Images went through my mind of Saturday, lifting her up by her tiny waist and placing her on the dressing table…Shyt mane!! I nearly had an accident. If the cameras catch me, those are points gone. While my mind was tanga tangaing, so was her hand. I could see the mischief in her eyes as her hand came to rest between my legs and continued to squeeze my now expanding mjulubeng. Things began to get tight, baana I was sweating like a pregnant nun at confession. . Tukingoja red light to turn green, nikaskia zip down……She smiled and reached inside to squeeze again.

Dear reader, what kain wahalla be dis one ooooo?

Saa hiyo yote, her roommate was in the backseat watching everything. I could see her in the rearview mirror giggling, and I could tell she was enjoying it. This is a muslim girl, imagine? She was just crossing and uncrossing her legs, and I knew she was horny. Kwani hii watu wamepanga nini? I thought to myself? Saa hizo, I was driving like crazy….More points deducted. I’m sure I won’t escape the fines.

Haaaaiya, I could feel Xiao’s fingers inside my boxers, her fingers were on the jostoh, stroking it pole pole up and down. I was going nuts manze. We pulled up in front of their condo and I parked the car in front of the entrance. “Thank you for the ride home” said Nadia. I couldn’t even talk properly. It was like I had a piece of ngwashe stuck in my throat. Nadia went upstairs.

Xiao was like a tigress in heat. She grabbed me by the neck and kissed me passionately in my ears and neck, all the while her hand is doing the other business. I knew this was now or never, I had to make a do or die decision. “Please go up and I’ll park the car properly and join you later.” I told her. “OK …wǒ qīn’ài de, I’ll be waiting.”

Hehehe, I put the phrase, “utajua hujui” in action.

Faster, faster, I put fundamentals back inside my trousers, zipped up, put off my phone and drove as fast as I could out of there. I reached home and put on the TV to wait for the World Cup match. For the first time in a very long time (since I don’t drink alone in the house), I fixed myself a stiff double shot of Glenglasaugh and reminisced on yet another crazy night. My phone is still off as we speak. I’m thinking of blocking the girl but she knows where I live.

Wadau, was this the most monumental cock-up in the history of mankind or did I do the right thing?

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