Special Delivery

Wadau,

As many of you niggas know, I’m a senior bachelor. Sasa kupika kwangu ni ngori, despite having a state of the art kitchen -but do I say.

Anyhoo, so on Saturday si I decide to order in as I was finishing up on a project that was due for review by today (Monday) by an important client. As I’m beavering away at my home workstation, I heard an alert from Uber Eats, ati my food is on the way… Kucheki phone, I was hit by a pleasant surprise…
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A lady! Hmmm that’s rare, I thought to myself but didn’t think much of it. Shortly I received a call,

“Hi, Mr. Gabriel? Yeah, this is Uber Eats with your order.” I proceeded to press the buzzer in my house to let her in. She came up to the house. Kitu haikuwa mbaya. Chinku alafu size ni ka pienga, hips kiasi and uniquely for a Chinese lady, dat ass was there. Not as well endowed as our African sisters you see, but for a Chinese…

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Anyways, I thanked her for the delivery. But I could see she was hesitant to leave and I knew it wasn’t about the tip cuz if you niggas know the tip is left on the Uber app. So I told her “don’t worry I’ll definitely leave a tip for you on the app”…

She was like “no, it’s not that. I’m so sorry to bother you…this is a bit embarrassing lah, but I was wondering if I could use your washroom? I’m so sorry sir it’s just that I have a long ride back” I was like, “of course, you can! Go right ahead, don’t worry about it.”

I showed her where it was and proceeded to the kitchen to unpack the food and serve it. As I was eating in the dining room (which is shown here for context)
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I heard her come in. “Sir I just wanted to thank you and apologize once again”…

TO BE CONTINUED… Part II

Okay

Ngombeeeee……………
Part 2 ije fasta…

Jamaa kwani haulali.Kwani uko london kama mimi?Ama unapiga watu ngeta hapo kayole?

Niko night shift kaka, na wira iko sete, sasa ni mtandao tu…

Sawa piga watu ngeta polepole basi.

[ATTACH=full]175295[/ATTACH] sawa sawa salesman…

Kabuda 2.0
Hii ndio shida ya kuwa feasant.

Haiyaaaa, due to popular demand.PART II

So anyway, I tell her, “don’t worry about it, it’s perfectly understandable” “OK Sir, she says, have a lovely night”…“and you” I reply. “I’m Siau by the way”…she says….”I’m Gabz (yule mmoja)” Pleased to meet you” She let herself out as I finished my dinner. It was too much and couldn’t finish so I just put away in the fridge. For some reason I felt tired, I guess from all the work I was doing.

I went to the sitting room (shown in part I above) and started channel surfing from my TV. Lo and behold I saw on the sofa…the lady had forgotten her mini purse! I was like, what do I do? So I figured the only way was to look inside and see if maybe there was some way I could find her phone or something to enable me contact her. Sure enough, there was a phone inside, but unfortunately it was locked. As I was about to give up, I noticed a metrocard with a number written on it (censored for obvious reasons)

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I called the number and a lady answered, “Siau?”, I asked, thinking maybe that’s her other phone. Here people tend to have even three phones-for what I don’t know.

Anyhoo, “Ni hao, ni shi na wei?” the lady answered. I’m like “Wo de Zhongwen bugou hao”… “Oh sorry lah, you speak English?” I explained what happened. So apparently it’s her housemate and they are students at SUTD, not too far from my digz. She promised to let Siau call me when she got home. She got home kedo 10:30 pm, apparently this was her last shift. She called using her pals phone and confessed she felt really embarrassed about the whole affair and she realised she had forgotten her purse when she was already on her way back.

Long story short, we agreed to meet the following day (Sunday) so that I can give her back her stuff. We agreed to meet at White Sands Mall in Pasir Ris at 2 pm. Kesho yake, I woke up kedo 10 o’clock in the morning, had breakfast and a lazy morning. Around lunchtime, I went to the bathroom to wash up; put on a fresh outfit, Giorgio Armani Code cologne….the works…Now I was fresh, dressed like a million bucks. Sasa basi, twende kazi.

I met her at the mall, and after I gave her her stuff, I invited her for lunch and promised to drop her off at her digs. Sisi hao, Saizeriya Italian restaurant (yes, I’m a cool guy like that). Lunch was salmon al forno for me and goat’s cheese salad for her. Kuteremsha was a Sauvignon Blanc wine for her and a juice for me since I was driving. Delicious.

We continued to chat while enjoying our meals. Akanishow she’s studying Informational Systems Design na mimi nikamshow I’m an African prince from Wakanda. Baaaaas!! nikaona atleast ka smile…Hehehe!

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Alafu akauliza, “Mr. Gabriel, why are you doing this one lah?” “Doing what?” I asked. “And please call me Gabz.”

"Taking me out for lunch. “I mean you have just wasted your entire Sunday because of my mistake, I’m really sorry lah”

“It’s no problem at all Siau.” I said. “Thank you Gabz.” She said.

With the awkwardness out of the way, we engaged in deep conversation, time ili fly, I didn’t know when 8 pm ilifika. We finished eating and headed back to my car as I had offered to drop her home. Ma selfie kiasi hapo kwa mall. Si you know young ladies……for the IG.

Anyway…huyu hapa
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PART III loading…

Mzee, uko an dryspell :D:D:D

You want a good Asian woman, enda Japan or get you a Japanese one. Wachana na Wachinku. Thank me later! :D:D:D

The guy in the background looks salty as fuck .

reminds me my college days.She is good though but rest assured you wont be accepted in their family… so don’t fall in love kaseee

msee si una mkono nyeusi sana!!

Part 3 ikwuom

BOSS,Kungu the pilot na Ochithunder walikuwa hapa kabla ufike,hii mambo tushazoea.

Just 2 questions:-

  1. Kwani wachiku wote huvaa hizo viatu?
  2. Hii “Lah” wanasema kila wakati ni nini?

we hiyo mkono ni dark,ama wacha tu…hiyo kunguru haikukuwekea mchele?ama radan hakuna pishori?

Congrats umepata your next ex-wife.

Hiyo kifua ni flat sana, nikama ime pigwa pasi

I know wadau are eagerly anticipating Part III. Therefore, and without further ado, here we go…

…As we were driving we passed Pasir Ris Park. “Please can we stop there for a bit?” She said pointing at the park. “I love coming here on Sundays.”

Nikajua baaaaaaaaas! Game over! Yaani, all this time I was being the gentleman kumbe dame ako na design zake! Sawa tuu. Tukaingia park. We walked around kwa boardwalk admiring nature’s majesty on a warm night in Singapore. Kidogo kidogo ghafla bin vu, tukajipata kwa children’s playground. One thing led to another. Kunguru ili ni grab and kissed me on the lips. Yaani , I didn’t believe. Dame baana akashikilia mjulubeng aka feel hio full size ya Wakanda warrior. (I felt so violated, gosh)….

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Hehehe,

She then leads to my car as she leans on me and thanks me a couple times, repeating herself. I open the passenger door naye huyo she wraps her arms around me and starts another very sexy kiss. That sexy body is pressed against me. Dear reader, mimi ilikuwa ku react tuu, dame was the leader here.

I start to drive to the condo where she lives. Kichwa yake iko kwa shoulder yangu, her one hand on my thigh as I drive. As we get to the building, she tells me to drive in to the parking spaces underneath and even points out the one I should use. I go around to open her door and help her up and out and she’s all over me again, kissing me and thanking me. But really, seriously kissing me with lots of tongue.

Man, kufika upstirs, asha toa keys, unlocks the door, sisi ndani, she grabs my hand and pulls me along with her. She closes the door behind us and pulls me down a short hall into her bedroom. I don’t fight her but I’m not sure what I’m doing in her bedroom, I feel like I should get out of there. Kidogo kidogo, dame ako tuu na panties and bra. “Take off my panties,’ she says. I thought I was hallucinating, nikamshow “I don’t want to take advantage of you, are you sure about this?”

Dame amelala kwa bed, miguu wide open mayne. “you are not taking advantage of me," asha sema. Waaah, I realize that I’m bila CD, but, niko ndaaaaaaaaaani so it’s too late to do anything about that. Dame ma soundtrack nazo, it was like Mortal Kombat , manze unamaliza round moja, dame ako zile za,…

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The thirst was real mayne! I didn’t even know if her housemate was around but if she was, I’m sure we must have awakened her.

Anyhoo, the next thing I know, I slowly woke up and saw that was light. There’s was a brief moment of panic on my part wondering where I was then I kumbukad last night. “Good morning,” she says. First thing I asked was whether she was using birth control-which she was, and at least diseases are non-existent here.

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“I need a shower and I think you do, too.” She reached for my hand and we both get off the bed and walked together, holding hands. It was the best shower of my life.

I’m back at my place wondering what just happened.

Wadau, what is the world coming to when a decent gentleman like myself can be violated by young ladies like this?

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