Yesterday I arrived late at work. This is my new job, I have just been there for three weeks now.
So today I want to turn things round. Before going to sleep I had set my alarm to go off at 5:00 am. It will be good to wake up a little bit early run for 30 mins, prepare myself and head to work. I am running as I promised myself that it’s time I kept fit. This potbelly is growing by the day.
So the alarm goes off, I snooze for ten mins, when it goes off again I put it off. Next time I wake up it is 5:45 am, there is still time, I tell myself. I lie facing the ceiling, go to google and type " I fucked my female boss in a bank sex stories ", I usually read Literotica, its fifteen years now since I got into this act of pleasing yourself.
I did finally wake up at 6:17 a.m, spread my bed, went to my study table opened my drawer took a matchbox, picked the keys from the table and headed to the balcony, the first time I got introduced to Maryjane was again fifteen years ago.
I brush my shoes, this is usually a task done by my step brother, he got home late last night, he is undertaking a Diploma course in one of the universities in the city centre, evening classes. Now this is the chap I gave Kes 5,500/- to attend the EPZ Expo at KICC on Thursday last week and he brought home two oversize pairs of jeans for me, more about him and this later, it will depend on your reviews. I went upcountry to see my oldy lady over the weekend and bagged my first lanye by the way, I have to admit if it was not for Kenya Talk, I would have not accomplished this, thank you to everyone, story for another day.
I finally managed to get out of the house at 6:50 am. At the bus stop, there is only one Nissan matatu and its "empty’, am doubting my ,“grammer”, since I started visiting this village, I have realized that some notable villagers have set standards on story telling, standards that have to be followed in hekayaring. Its 6:55.
I board a bus to town, its half full ( some three gorgeous ladies enter and head straight to the back seat, I am one sit away, I can manage to ask for a number if I muster the courage, I know I smell good. The way am using this new spray, it wont last for long), this means it will take several stopovers to pick peasants on their way to work, if there is traffic at museum hill, I will still be late today. Maeeen, things got to change, tomorrow I wake up at 4:30 a.m, I set the alarm immediately, 20 hours 50 mins from now.
Its 7:40 a.m we are at museum hill, and I have been typing this. I took up a challenge to drop a hekaya yesterday, a new villager here was castigated for dropping a half baked hekaya , I will recheck his name when I arrive at work, you understand Kenyans, free internet and the likes, understand!!.
It’s 7:45 a.m we are here at Globe roundabout, past ‘grogon’, do I have to explain this, I have been sitted next to this chick ‘wearing a brown weave’, she did not meet the villagers standards, hata amenichafua macho, I heard her mumble something to the effect that her sit was also wet when the three ladies stormed out). We are at Khoja Stage.
We alight, I have to run, yesterday I reached job at 8:20 a.m, today I got to improve,
Up the stairs, its 7:55 a.m, I get into my pocket and take out the Fresh chewing gum, no chances, I gotta make sure my mouth is got rid off of any iota of smell, of the substance I puffed away at 6:17 a.m.
At my desk, its 7:57 am, I made it on time. I have been typing its now 8:05, I have been typing on note on my phone, done is it three notes, when do I transfer my maiden hekaya to Kenya Talk?!.
I wanted to tell you how wet seats in the bus I boarded made some three “eatable” (I know its edible, brare chieth) gorgeous to alight, I had set my on one, they were three, they must have been campus students, It really defeats me how seats in a matatu can get wet, kwani is the bus leaking or something?, hehe, the first time I heard the phrase ‘to take a lick’ I was a first year in campus, anyway, I deduce that maybe those mamas who go to the Gikombas or Marikitis of this Nairobi early in the morning must have carried some ‘staffs’ that leaked on seats. Have you boarded those old Kangemi mats that stink urine?, why do they smell like that??, wah, masaibu si corinthians hupitia, And this is my maiden Kenya Talk post. Its 08:11 a.m, time to log in.
Top right end of my cheap Itel phone, go to my first note, click on the three dots (edit title, save, share, delete), I click on share, I select Gmail, from,my email (ofcourse my email address), to my email address, same for the the second, third and then fourth, so I can type, methinks I can tell a good story, lets wait and see.
In my email inbox, mi huyo Kenya Talk, post new thread, copy paste from Gmail, few edits here and there, here we are. Give this a Title. Mhhhhhhh,
Let me listen to https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=troy+ave+chuck+norris I have some imaginary enemies I want to deal with, its 8:59 am, most Kenyans don’t work, see I have finished my first hour at work trying to post a hekaya here, si hii ni ujinga!, I have seen several emails trickling to my outlook account (pale juu kwa corner, si mnaelewa), I have to finish this. Hope I have shared the youtube link above correctly. Let me try to attach the video, 15%, 24%, 36%, 57%,69%, 84% then 100%, then an error occured go back sijui what, you mean I am going to lose all this, seriously!!!. Sigh, here I am, no upload, not today.
Its 9:09 am, am off to the kitchen for breakfast. Then I will be back to start working, while I read your comments.
