MID-WEEK STORY!
This evening I will be talking to Dads & Mums in equal measures. It’s a story with a Moral… Story of Why I will never ever Have sex in the Dark. Mimi tukinyanduana stima ipotee nasimamia hapo…nenda kwa kiosk kutafta mshumaa…! Reason… Read my “SEX IN THE DARK STORY”… g
Wasichana wa Githurai… Masaibuuu. Had this girl in my life called Serah. She was Kamba because am not Tribal . She had no accent,except one time we were talking on phone and she told me “You need to Heat my Pussy Nick”.I was shocked because I didn’t know how to heat pussies… And why she had a cold one. I later came to learn she Meant" Eat “her pussy. I was still staying in Roysa, she used to Reside in Githurai 45,on her own. Everytime I told her to come over, She would insist I go over instead,and by the FISIs’ constitution, If you are invited over by a Lady, You Go.
This is my” ELIANTO COOKING OIL" Sex Story… And thanks to Serah, I no longer cook using Liquid Oil…or is it fat… Bring your asses here…
PART 1:
SERAH!
I met Serah in a Mathree. See the days when very few matatus are getting to town so You decide to “connect”…That’s how it happened. Ronald Ngala Street, The only matatus available were the" TUXEDOS" plying route 44. If you don’t want to stay in town, You can always board one and alight at Roysa, then get one for 45. She connected, we met. I talked to her when we arrived at Muthaiga after confirming she had already paid her fare. Our chat was very brief, about the State of the Nation back then, then we discussed how Thika Road had been transformed, Then she told me how Ukambani was Dry,… Then eventually asked for her number , and it came through. On reaching Roysa, she alighted at the bumps… Si mnajua madame wa Githurai huweza kushuka ma3 kama bado hazijasimama,she was a typical 45 chick.! Mimi nkashuka kwa stage… Got home and after cooking Ugali Omelet which is my staple food… I initiated the chat. She was a good texter, wachana na hawa lightskins wa Donholm & Embakasi ukitaka wareply message yako ya Easter itabidi uitume before February is over smh. Our chat was . Girls who know how to chat will go to Heaven… And that is where Serah belonged, until she DEEP FRIED me using ELIANTO!.. She worked in town, Owned an MPESA shop… Independent women, Bless you. She had just broken up with her bf and she was looking for a rebound. Perfect moment. That evening we chatted til late night. I told her I would love to meet her again and PAP date pale Cityd Star Hotel was planned…!
On Saturday we met at City Star, masaa ya 7-ish hivi, nkaitisha chai ya maziwa ya ngamia… Akaitisha cocktail juice. JAVA i don’t go anymore after Natalie Spided me… It’s during the date she told me where she stayed precisely… And I did the same too. We then teased each other on who should visit each other first for supper… And I won. She was to come visit first!.. That was a +!
Following Thursday, we met in town and proceeded to my BedSitter and she was impressed! Neat place huh! Compliments kibao nkajua This Ass Belongs To Me Now.!
… That Thursday is When I Realized she loved ELIANTO! Wacha tupike sasa…
PART 2 : WHY I BELIEVE THE REASON SHE CAME TO MY PLACE WAS TO SEE WHERE I KEPT MY ELIANTO…
… Kupika tulipika chakula kitamu sana. I loved it. And if you are a genuine hyena, first day/night…make sure there is some meat…na ukikosa pesa ya nyama kabisa, buy Sossi. I had insisted on cooking both Ugali & the stew but she offered to do it. Since I wanted to “save” time, i let her do it. Nkanotice akipika ugali, she added some Elianto to the boiling water. Who adds Elianto to Ugali??? Why!!! I told her jokingly “Kwani unakaranga Ugali?” she laughed, i laughed… But I was dead serious! Then when shed came to the stew,she put so much of the oil, I wasn’t amused.And she returned the OIL exactly where she had found it! Defoooo! I tried giving her a light lecture on Dangers of alot of Fat… I listen to Kameme FM, So I had heard a lot about Cholesterol from Kamirithu Herbs. I passed on the knowledge to her but I didn’t know ELIANTO was BAE!.. We enjoyed the meal, and she had to leave since she had carried no clothes. It was a Sad Day for me! But Brighter days were coming, and Darker Nights !.. Before she left we made out briefly… But for a fisi, even a 1 minute make out is enough to give you a Hurting Boner. I was boned men. Tukitoka kwa mlango my trousers looking like a pitched tent 
. d
… Next meeting is what I call MY ELIANTO TRIP TO GITHURAI 45…
PART 3 : ELIANTO TRIP…
My journey to Githurai 45 started from Roysambu. It was a Saturday evening and I was going for a sleepover. We had been texting and sexting with Serah and I had managed to get myself a ticket to her place. But this was after trying to convince her several times to come and sleepover at my crib, which she wasn’t going to do anytime soon. I left Roysa around 630PM… Boarded NICCO bus and proceeded to her place. I alighted at KassMatt Supermarket, bought her some few items and a chocolate of course… And bought some Illuminatis for myself… Yall idiots need to practice safe sex btw! I got to her house around 7PM. I had already confirmed with her and she was the one who indeed paid the rent so there was no chance of a nigga knocking on the door when I was being screwed. I found her wearing boots shorts… She was staying in a 1-bedroomed house so I felt much challenged.But At my age, It was no shame living in a bed sitter .
She was preparing supper when I got there. This time we were having fried rice and beef stew I think. Kama kawaida… Mafuta mingi sana.
Let’s go to the MAIN PART of this story. After supper, we didn’t have much to do in the sitting room… And we had agreed on most of the things through texts. Protocols! We went to the bedroom and that is when I gave her her chocolate. She took it… And gave me one hell of a kiss. She then opened it, bit a piece and gave it to me using her mouth… You get the picture People? Mouth to Mouth. She teased me… Then she got my Tshirt off, some chocolates on my struggling nipples… Then licked it off!.. Within no time, we were just in our undies. Then I did the same to her nourished nipples… Chocolate was the key ingredient hear! Then I touched her thighs, Hands warm… And she whispered “Nick, Please Heat my Pussy”… I was about to go for a KIFARU Matchbox… When she rephrased her statement and told me" Get Down Hon me "…! Let’s skip that part because I literally massacred her downstairs with the tongue… Eventually we got to the Coitus! Wheew!
Shida ilitokea hapa sasa Guys…
ELIANTORIZATION … So we finally get to the Coiting part. Lights OFF. Back then I used to prefer sex in the Dark. I put on my gift pack…! After heating her pussy like Grocery, there’s nothing much left to do apart from Nyahululating her. And I begin my business. We all know how sometimes CDs suck when they start drying up and nobody wants to hurt a girl during sex! Problem is, when the CD dries up, most chicks assume it’s their pussy that is not enough… And sometimes it can really affect them emotionally, mentally, nunully,… Etc! Girls you are probably not the problem. For round one… My illuminati did just fine! No need for change of tyres. Round 2…! Point is…no man in his sober mind heats P after Coiting. If pussy gets dry… Change that thing. Well…That was my idea… Serah had other ideas. After some minutes of coitus… Trying out some extravagant styles… Soldier number 2 dried up. I was about to put on the last one in the pack… Serah tells me “Just a moment Nick”… She gets on the floor Stark Naked and walks… Initially I thought she was going to the loo to get a wet rag in case she overheats. Kukaa kwa bed nkiwa uchi kama wale Night runners wa kisii… I heard some commotion from the kitchen. Meeehn, i was scared for my life. Dick Collaped… Balls freeze… Tumattercore tukashikana. I was thinking of the number of things she could possibly do to me. Aneza kuja na kisu… Anyofoe transformer and just like that I will never Nut Again. Ama akuje na Carrot aniweke kwa exhaust . Worse still, she could come back with pliers and squash my entire generation. Wasichana wa Githurai if you don’t know, Unaingia kwa nyumba unapata Kuna hadi Powersaw chini ya Bed na sitting room badala ya picture wall hangings, unaona amehang Fimbo na Shovels. Those rooms look like war zones so if she steps out and you hear some commotion…kama uneza toshea kwa dirisha enda ukikaukanga. If you can reach for the Powersaw, the better!.. I listened keenly and that commotion was sounding like sufurias. Nkajua hapa ni kuchomwa na maji moto. I covered myself with her duvet… And waited for my verdict! She came back after 3-5 minutes. Vile aliingia bedroom nkasikia kukismell food. But she was in the kitchen so it’s acceptable. BUT WAIT, why should one smell like food when they are naked.? Anyway, the important thing was nutting. Serah Got in bed…there’s a place ladies touch you and you automatically get a boner… Kama hujui, go do your research! She touched the weak point… And Boom Back to business. Wacheni niwaambie…il e design nliingia kwa hio Nyap…ilikua inateleza kama pande ya chini ya ulimi. Kuteleza tele tele… Nlikua naingia ni kama nmekanyanga banana peels. Sweeet. Kidogo Kidogo, Room ikaanza kusmell kitunguu. ASIIII! Kukanyanga hio kitu tena kukasmell Mandathi. SHAAA! Kwani napika??.. Am busy complimenting her wetness…sijui najiroast. I started thinking my CD was not on…! Kuendelea nkasikia kunasmell Fried managu nkajua… Ni kubaya. That is when I posed and asked her… “Kwani umeweka nini huku chini”… And she innocently replied… Nmeeka Mafuta kidoooogo ya kupika ili nikue wet! FUUUUUUUUCK. I have been busy deep frying my Mûtî. It was disgusting to say the least. I pushed her aside… Went to the kitchen nkapata Elianto ya 500 ML. Have you ever hated something that isn’t even alive? I looked at that Elianto with a grin! I contemplated pouring it in the toilet. I was hurt. I walked back to the room holding the kibuyu nkamuuliza “Mbona umenifanyia hivi…”… She apologized and said she wanted to make me happy. How do you make me happy ukinikaranga??.. Upus! But according to the Fisis constitution… You have to finish what you started. I took the Elianto back to the kitchen… Joined her in bed… And we finished the coitus. By the time morning inafika, We were smelling like a Kibanda men. I left her house feeling like a moving kitchen… That is why I NEVER HAVE SEX IN THE DARK… AND ELIANTO COOKING OIL… GOODBYE!
17 Likes
Hehehehe, nice Hekaya but siwezi lambs kuma na nivae CD. Nefa Eva?
2 Likes
Hii nilisoma Kilimani mums and dads uncensored (original) kabla mods was huko hawaja kosana.
kicheko itaniuuwa…
.
Ngai mwathani, hehehe
Hekaya iko chonjo,
Eti madame wa githu hushuka gari kwa bump, hio pia imenimalisa
3 Likes
Ati aingize carrot kwa exhaust:eek::eek::eek::D:D:D:Dmimi kufdead
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wah amazing hekaya, nimecheka mpaka neighbors wamesha mataa
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Hehehehe.
Dude you is funny.
kusema tu ukweli tunapenda hekaya but hii macho imechoka katikati.
Hekaya on point:D:D:D
Copy pasted from FB kilimani moms
Copy pasted or not it’s still some funny shait. Not all of us are in Kilimani mums.
3 Likes
:D:D:D:D:D…
“Kwani unakaranga Ugali?” she laughed, i laughed.
Funny as HELL. Wewe kipara @introvert umepata content ya gunia wiki hii next week. Tunataka sketch wa hio moving kitchen. Sande sana
Hehehe.
Noted.
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